So, I figured this may help people as it's a realization I recently had swallowing the pill.
I'm 26, young I guess, maybe too young for a mid life crisis. That would be if I wasn't already the manager of 300 people and run millions of dollars of processes. This has driven me to a maturity level that is unique to me for my age.
Reading the redpill something hit me. I am going to die one day. Wait, not just that, I am going to be post wall myself one day. I'm 20 years from being 46. 20 years. If women only have ~12 years of being prime, from 18 to 30, men are lucky that we get from 30-50, a little bit longer of a window. However, that window will go by. I will NOT get a second chance to do everything I've dreamed of doing. I get 1 chance. 1 shot to posture my life in such a way that gives me steady returns of success. 1 chance to be young. It will pass. Who do I want to be as a 35 year old? A 45 year old? What am I doing to get there? Is my relationship now helping or hindering me becoming that person?
I kind of emotionally clicked. I dont have years to waste in a relationship that is draining. I dont have time to try and save a woman or be an emotional tampon for a woman. If I want to be financially stable, socially successful, and have a life I can be proud of... I have to start building that NOW. Like a IRA, you have to keep contributing when your young and work hard when your young, because when your old your capability will be diminished. If I focus on women now making them my goal now, to please them, to worship them, to win them over when I'm 40, I'll have nothing.
I also started thinking, man when I'm on the phone with my SO and shes being a bitch, or nagging or unpleasant... I am losing my time. By letting her do this daily I am investing my resources that should be going to my secure future into someone else that is clearly unable to provide returns. I am throwing it all away. I have began to feel jealous. Jealous of my time. I CANT get it back. That scares the fuck out of me. I dont get back the hundreds of hours I've wasted the past 3 years putting up with bullshit, when I could have been doing so many other things. I could have been doing juizitsu and be a bad ass fighter now. I could have been practicing trading FOREX and be great at it now. I could have spent my money on myself and be debt free with over $2500 a month disposable income by now. I could spend my time talking to people who are adding to my enjoyment in life at that moment, not taking it away. I got a $25000 loan as a 21 year old. Stupid I know. I always joke.. you know how you BLOW 25k? $20 at a time. Well, I realized you know how you BLOW 20 years of your life you'll never get back? 1 2 hr debate with a harpy at a time.
I dont want to be 40 saying the same shit. For the first time ever, when she got all shitty about something I got angry. Not angry because she was wrong, or she got under my skin with her harpy accusations. Angry that she was about to try and take my time again. I said clearly and with conviction I dont want to discuss this. She said well you think you can just let this go like it's no big deal you cant do that. I said, yes I can. It felt great. Reclaiming my time. Refusing to spend another minute in a stupid fucking debate.
I dont have to argue with her about why I do what I do. I dont owe her that fucking answer, and she and I forgot that. I dont owe her my fucking time. That's my God damned resource and I wont waste it anymore. I'm getting older, I'm losing the best days of my life, and I want to know I spent every day wisely just like I wanna spend every dollar wisely. I dont get a redo. When I'm 50, I dont get to try again. I have always said, man I wish I could go back to college. Now I realize I dont need to. I DONT want to be 50 saying. Man I wish I was 26 again. No body wastes my time anymore. And the manipulation that women try to use to convince me that I owe them my time or resources... is no longer something I think, or more importantly feel. I hope this helps someone come to the same conclusion.
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