Why do so many men claim to be into carpentry?

MakeURegret · 2020-07-23T21:49:39+00:00

This is a manifestation of the confidence gap:

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/05/the-confidence-gap/359815/

Guys will have helped their buddy do demo on a bathroom remodel and then say “yeah I can renovate a house I’ve done it before.” Whereas a woman will have done tiling, hired plumbers, fixed the switches, chosen the paint, put up shelves, installed a new vanity, etc. and you ask her “can you help me with new fixtures for my bathroom sink?” She’ll answer “oh I don’t know I’m no expert you should probably ask someone else.”

I’m working to rid myself of this habit. I think it’s especially hard in tech, because people question your knowledge more and assume your mistakes mean you’re not competent rather than just human and/or still learning.

And this is the loaded statement behind the phrase “the audacity.” I love seeing examples of it in all forms, because it makes me realize yeah I should try for that promotion/job/negotiate for that raise, etc. cause a man would.

Averyhvw · 2020-07-24T01:01:30+00:00

Hahaha! This reminds me of my nvm ex, he literally went fishing ONE time (with a friend who planned everything because he actually fishes) and from then on when someone asked him what his hobbies were he would say fishing! 😂 Last time I looked him up online, the Uni he worked for had a profile for him, guess what his sole hobby was! 🤣

I guess he was too embarrassed to say “hentai!” 🤣🤣🤣

Summerisle7 · 2020-07-23T21:30:26+00:00

This post cracked me up! Yeah carpentry is cool these days, a lot of noodle-limbed young guys claim to be carpenters. I guess it's seen as manly yet also creative. There was a post last week where some guy claimed to be a carpenter AND a Harvard grad! LOLOL

ArugulaIsAwesome · 2020-07-24T02:08:43+00:00

Had a quick coffee date with a guy who I think was literally intentionally trying to appear smart.

He kept telling me how “into psychology” he was. I have it listed as an interest in my profile. When I asked him about what books or podcasts or psychologists he had absolutely no answer for me.

He then told me he loves reading classic literature and told me about some rare book I’d never heard of that he read but when I asked him about other famous works he not only hadn’t read them but also had no commentary about why or his thoughts on popular classic literature. WTF??

Grimkatov · 2020-07-24T05:28:39+00:00

Lmao reminds me the time when I was chatting to someone on OLD who thought I was lying when I told him “I can’t talk right now, I’m helping my dad re-shingle the roof”. He told me to prove it and I sent a picture of me in a harness standing on our 3 storey house. I unmatched him after, he said “pretty women shouldn’t be doing a man’s job”.

4E4ME · 2020-07-23T22:13:25+00:00

Because carpentry/having a hobby is sexy and what adults do and they are lying. Men do this with all kinds of "hobbies" they claim to have that aren't gaming/porn. When men say they are into volunteering I always ask them where they volunteer. They never know a place, they think about something they did years ago that someone else planned for them. Same with reading. Guys will rarely be able to talk about something they're read lately, they talk about books they read years ago while they were in school.

I've been w a guy who IS into carpentry and made some of his own furniture, he was sexy AF!!

CurlingFlowerSpace · 2020-07-23T22:27:45+00:00

Harrison Ford was (and still is) a very very good carpenter before his acting career took off.

I'd bet 95% of this shit is because their brains go "Harrison Ford was Han Solo, and Han was cool because instead of saying "I love you too" he said "I know" and that's just so detached and aloof and emotionless, and I lack emotions, so let's just wrap that all up into a big ball of substitute for a personality."

Pahapan · 2020-07-23T23:10:13+00:00

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catsuramen · 2020-07-23T23:11:10+00:00

Yes. I have a PhD in engineering and guys mansplain me about basic mechanics/electronics all the time.

Usually I let them talk about themselves though. Ladies, pick your battles. This one is not worth your mental load.

notochord · 2020-07-24T06:32:59+00:00

I silently swipe left on all the OSHA violations I see in guy’s profile pics. A guy standing shirtless on the top of a ladder with no PPE and using a corded reciprocating saw? No thank you.

2020-07-23T23:06:24+00:00

One thing I have to credit my ex on is that when a realtor asked him how long it took to replace our wood flooring and baseboards, he gave him a confused look and replied, "I don't know. Ask her." The realtor looked at me with so much surprise that I was slightly offended. I just said, "Would have been quicker if I didn't have to teach my husband how to use my saw."

royaldetour · 2020-07-23T21:50:30+00:00

I imagine they assume the woman they're dealing with is even less knowledgeable about carpentry than they are, so they can get away with the lie. Show em what's up, sis!!

Orphanedpinkpetals · 2020-07-24T00:39:50+00:00

Bc we are saying stuff like Build us a house if you want a sandwich lol

Pasdepromesses · 2020-07-23T23:30:26+00:00

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daisy_0720 · 2020-07-24T07:18:04+00:00

I have mad respect for men who have a passion for carpentry and can build/create wonderful things that are tailor-made to my house.

My dad set the bar high, lol.

2020-07-23T22:55:01+00:00

Men who say they like building things usually have only built ikea furniture or a computer. Build a house, then you can call yourself a builder.

Pahapan · 2020-07-24T09:05:16+00:00

LMAO. They try to identify a manly skill/hobby that they can pretend they're proficient/knowledgeable in, betting they'll never have to actually demonstrate it. They probably think to themselves, "Realistically how often is carpentry going to come up? If she ever asks me to fix or make something I can just say I'm tired or don't have the proper tools/materials and offer to buy her some cheap fiberboard piece of shit instead, or better yet convince her to buy it herself. She'll never know. AND if she does ever happen to find out I lied I can just say that I liked her so much that I wanted to impress her. She'll think that's so sweet. God, I'm a genius."

I had a FWB (when I was still foolish enough to do that) who fronted that he was a ~car guy~. My dad is an actual car guy so I pegged him for a poser the first time I got in his car, a gaudy 2014 booger green Mustang GT that I was shocked to discover was automatic. I downloaded tinder out of sick curiosity just to creep on him to see how he was portraying himself to other women. He pulled that corny "let me take you to a car show" shit and, of course, had a couple pictures of his car up to impress. On top of misrepresenting himself as a car guy he'd also given himself a promotion, hahaha. But when he needed new calipers he took his car to a shop instead of doing it himself. I've replaced my own calipers with my dad's guidance. Dude probably doesn't even know how to change a tire.

He also felt the need to tell me about how he was planning on getting his car wrapped but that he could only afford racing stripes. I made fun of him like, "Oh wow, racing stripes on a Mustang. That's original." And suggested he instead get the roof wrapped in shiny black, because with his dark tinted windows it would give the illusion that the windshield, roof, and back window are all one single piece of glass and it looks really cool. I also suggested that he watch a certain super talented wrapper (who at the time only had like 50k subscribers) who makes YouTube videos for some inspiration. He changed the topic. But men totally like girls who know anything about cars, right?

I also have an ex who volunteered to help me paint a room in my house, saying he'd done house painting before. It quickly became apparent that he had no idea what he was doing. He'd probably figured, "How hard can it be?" And I suspect the only reason he volunteered in the first place was because refurbishing the room was occupying all my free time and I hadn't sucked his dick in a minute. 🙄

heliodrome · 2020-07-23T23:06:49+00:00

Ah, yes. There is a fair bit of manual crafting involved in my job and business and I often shy (used to) away from telling men that I date what my talents and capabilities are. They would take offense just having google my name and seen some of my work.

3vad127 · 2020-07-23T23:47:53+00:00

Our society places so much emphasis on hyper-masculinity that they feel it’s one of the few hobbies that’s “safe” for them to have as a man. It’s indicative of low confidence in their masculinity and also a society that has failed them.

Edit for automod: This is not to say that men have it “harder” in any way. They certainly do not. But hyper-masculinity of our society has contributed to violence against women in 99% of cases, and it’s something we NEED to address. Feeling like woodworking is one of the few hobbies men are “allowed” to have is a byproduct of this hyper-masculinity.

loudest_gusset · 2020-07-24T14:55:34+00:00

I tell them I'm into anime and then they tell me they're huge fans too, only to find out that they watched Dragon Ball on Toonami 20 years ago. Yeah. Not the same as me making my own cosplays, attending 6-7 conventions a year, and having watched over 1000 anime consistently over 20 years. Surprisingly, Dragon Ball is not one of the many I have watched.

ChristianGirl93 · 2020-07-24T16:45:04+00:00

Girl, don’t even get me started!! Haha! That is amazing of you that you can creat things like that. 1. Men claim they know how to cook just because they can throw a piece of meat on a fire or stir ground beef in a pan. I need one who knows how to chop vegetables, steam, sautés, broil, bake, fry, whisk, use spices, crack an egg, and properly use defrost on a microwave. And 2. Do men not think we don’t use tools to assemble furniture, to hang drapes, and not just to put new batteries into the back of an old gameboy.

Title	Why do so many men claim to be into carpentry?
Author	fireflyfly3
Upvotes	180
Comments	47
Date	July 23, 2020 8:42 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hwnp05/why_do_so_many_men_claim_to_be_into_carpentry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-do-so-many-men-claim-to-be-into-carpentry.717598 https://theredarchive.com/post/717598

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