I’ve lived in New York City for almost 10 years, I make good money, live in a nice doorman building — and I was living in such a scarcity mindset until the last several months ago because of an emotionally abusive ex who damaged my self esteem and made me believe lies about myself.

We broke up 2 years ago for all the NVM reasons (cheater, liar, alcoholic, coke addict, “comedian,” gaslighter, narcissist and probably borderline — oh and he made significantly less $ than me and was cheap of course; don’t even get me started) but we were in a toxic dance on and off until May of this year when I finally woke the fuck up and went no contact.

My entire outlook on life has completely changed for the better. I literally feel like a flip switched and I’m arriving back at myself where I always was supposed to be. I’m more connected to myself and my goals than ever, moving my body more consistently than I ever have, taking true care of myself and listening to what my needs are for myself. I confronted my codepdendent tendencies and how they showed up in my life in other places (procrastination, people pleasing, indecisiveness, avoidance). I’ve given my trauma the space it deserves to heal and soften. I made the best choices at the time based on the knowledge and tools I had at that time. I’ve finally stopped looking for external validation (and stopped denying that I was looking for it).

Something I’ve recently released is the scarcity mindset. Even though I could afford it, I would not buy certain things in the hopes I would get it when I’m with “my next boyfriend who will be my husband.” Nice furniture, investment fashion pieces… and instead I spent my money on cheap fast fashion and alcohol/restaurants with the mindset of getting the attention of men to please them because, duh, I was a cool girl.

At the end of this month I’m moving to LA after saying I would do it for the last 4 years and I’m selling almost all my furniture in New York so I can invest in new, nice, upgraded furniture in LA and make it a space that makes me — and only me — happy and joyful and safe and comfortable.

Oh and I’m finally launching the company I dreamed up when I first broke up with him 2 years ago! The website goes live this month!