NPR - From Housework To Sex, Here's How Relationship Contracts Can Help Couples

Barely-moral · 2021-08-03T01:23:04+00:00

I didn't hear of one outside of some extreme 24/7 BDSM relationships.

Miss moral and I created one at the beginning of the relationship and negotiate alterations to the agreement at pre established dates. We both agreed to it. The relationship exists only if we both follow the agreement.

AntifaSuperSwoledier · 2021-08-03T02:12:16+00:00

I feel like this will appeal to structured and neurotic people. Like if you enjoyed Jordan Peterson you would probably enjoy a relationship contract bucko.

mackenzie013_02 · 2021-08-03T00:55:36+00:00

Like in the Big Bang Theory? 😅

TomorrowsWar · 2021-08-03T01:19:19+00:00

I’d prefer the term agreement instead of contract. I’ve had a written agreement in a relationship. We were both working like crazy and I need a lot of attention and he needed time for himself so we had to organize a bit. It was helpful, I liked it because it got me the attention I wanted and it managed my expectations

AlfaRed2000 · 2021-08-03T03:11:34+00:00

Does this mean a prenup is a good idea?
They are both laying out the rules of the marriage :)

houstongradengineer · 2021-08-03T01:02:13+00:00

It's so simple. Communication. Really. My take is this: the dudes who complain are probably either not willing to compromise in any way that actually promotes communication/giving, or they have trouble attracting women in the first place. Just my theory.

Rufus_Reddit · 2021-08-03T19:14:10+00:00

... So, ever heard of a relationship contract? Ever drawn one up or agreed to one? ...

Marriage contracts have been around for a while. E.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ketubah

relish5k · 2021-08-04T22:46:14+00:00

We have a ketubah, but the problem is I don't know what it says because it's in Hebrew.

simeneta_two · 2021-08-03T01:51:12+00:00

All relationships have covert contracts so this just putting those in writing. It’s a little odd but hey it works for some people. I can also see how this would be useful for really busy couples.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-08-03T02:35:21+00:00

My wife and I actually have one. Three times a week minimum. Long story on it but she agreed to the three times a week when we were having some libido issues, all voluntary, but based on past experience she tends to "forget" things so I made it into an actual contract. She laughed and smiled when she signed it so it was a positive thing.

just_a_place · 2021-08-03T02:40:20+00:00

This is very interesting to me as one who believed in abolishing marriage. These relationship contracts sound like a really good idea if a woman insists on some kind of set of duties, privileges, and dues in a long term relationship. This is something I can be OK with 😎

superlurkage · 2021-08-03T03:36:49+00:00

Nope. People can make choices. If you need duress to get what you want, have at it, but we are free to judge that

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-08-03T03:49:22+00:00

All relationships involve covert contracts, yes. I think and agree that it might help to lay these things out in the open so that people don't have to guess or figure out what their partner wants or expects of them or that people don't try to skate by and shirk their responsibilities to their partner while still getting all of their own needs and desires met.

subhuman_cretin · 2021-08-03T12:32:54+00:00

That's stupid because stuff women want from men like do X hours of housework or be employed and earn X amount are things that you could enforce in a contract

Things that men want like sex or for her not to turn into a total bitch are not enforceable in a contract and it would just get thrown out of court

KirthWGersen · 2021-08-03T09:41:51+00:00

In my experience, making a relationship contract with a woman is a pointless task.

You think you have everything well-defined and rationally agreed upon, and then discover that she considers each of her fleeting emotions to be an unwritten subclause that changes the whole meaning of the thing.

And that is how it should be: relationships are not static, they are a constantly changing process. Promises, no matter how specific, are just vague statements of intent based on temporary emotional states, always subject to change.

One thing women tend to like about men, is that they keep their word in a way women tend not to. Whenever a woman tells you about a feeling, intention or desire, always insert the words "right now" at the end, and you won't go far wrong. Make your own commitments accordingly.

If you want a woman to act in a certain way in a relationship, you have to constantly engage with her emotions, guide her through emotion. In other words, you have to learn to be a man.

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NarniaFox · 2021-08-03T03:02:14+00:00

I guess if it works for you, it's all good. People tend to be messy and forgetful about things and it seems as a perfect chance to discuss everything on the shore.

I wouldn't say my husband and I need one though. We've been together for more than 7 years, we know each other and our needs well. If something is off, we just talk and it usually helps.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-08-03T05:34:06+00:00

Weird concept .

heyitsjeape · 2021-08-03T23:26:24+00:00

If you have to draw it up, it’s probably not meant to be.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-08-04T08:23:51+00:00

So, ever heard of a relationship contract? Ever drawn one up or agreed to one?

Yep I have one. I highly recommend it.

passepar2t · 2021-08-04T09:28:45+00:00

This is possibly the dumbest and most autistic shit I've seen this year.

TemperateSloth · 2021-08-03T06:36:34+00:00

Imagine signing away the right to gaslight your partner into doing whatever you want. If you have any control in the relationship, it makes no sense to put things in writing.

Title	NPR - From Housework To Sex, Here's How Relationship Contracts Can Help Couples
Author	ToughAnswers
Upvotes	9
Comments	82
Date	August 3, 2021 12:54 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ows851/npr_from_housework_to_sex_heres_how_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/npr-from-housework-to-sex-heres-how-relationship.796780 https://theredarchive.com/post/796780

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