Whats the next step after feeling like you're a quality RPW looking for a committed RPM?

krautkid · 2017-04-02T11:23:30+00:00

You've been asking this same question for the last year and a half it seems and you still haven't found the answer. I find that odd you're still having problems.

hostwithmost · 2017-04-02T14:17:49+00:00

Your SMV is sky rocket high (according to you..) and RMV is shit from your post history. Where is the humility, GOLF, childlike wonder, cuteness, something to give men a reason to love and protect you? I bet you are a nag more than a soft place to land. this is equivalent to a nice guy who has a nice career, okay looks and NO GAME to inspire women to be with him complaining on the internet. 'I pay for her, we have fun and she fucks Chad '. The problem is you. Search for girl game and implement it. Even animals figure out a way to have sex. If guys are sticking around till sex and not taking it to a relationship status, your sex game may be weak too. what are your friends and families like? Do they project an image that you are a 'wifey material'? If you don't have that, build it. Volunteer, have a garden, have girl nights that are 'oh we are just looking at mags at home and having a home spa day'. Just something that makes the man think I wanna come home to this girl everyday. If you are constantly trying to go out, seen, be seen--- that shit is exhausting for high quality dudes if they aren't the ones initiating it. You can blame your supermodel looks 🙄 Or location till you are blue in the face but your troubleshooting needs to happen where the problem is aka your RMV.

vanBeethovenLudwig · 2017-04-01T16:07:07+00:00

Do you live in a big city? Are the young people mostly liberal?

Culture and background are vital for a LTR. There are men who have successful careers but just want to be a bachelor with plates and keep their money for themselves. And there are men who have successful careers who want to take care of a woman/children with their money.

My two most serious LTRs (including my current one) were with men who grew up in a conservative/traditional town/city. It really depends where they're from.

loneliness-inc · 2017-04-02T03:50:40+00:00

What am I doing wrong?

A big part of the issue here is the societal acceptance of casual sex as well as men having a serious disadvantage in divorces. These two factors alone are enough incentive for men to say no thanks to marriage and to just stick with casual sex.

But many men still believe in the traditional family unit. Religious circles are filled with such men. If you're part of a congregation, that's the best place to look. It's hands down better than any other place in terms of finding a life partner. (There are other issues inherent to specific religions though).

If you aren't religious, it'll be much more difficult to find the type of man you're looking for and probably impossible in the capital of vanity - LA.

What you can do is to be upfront about your goals early on and to only get in bed with someone once you're well underway to achieving these goals.

801735 · 2017-04-02T04:37:02+00:00

I hate to say it but this is another way of asking 'Where have all the good men gone?'

Might not have been you, could have been other femmies but the result is, like it usually is, the good ones find it harder to move fwd in(to) 'normal' lives while the mass headless-es on through life content.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSwsmQKDwyA

tempintheeastbay · 2017-04-02T16:47:07+00:00

You say your problems require specific socio-economic context, so lemme chime in. I've lived in LA, I've dated in LA. I made well into the 6 figures as did everyone I knew. Etc. basically......I can hang lol

There's no way you're having these problems for this long a time unless you're doing something VERY wrong. It's not your skirt. It's not your dating app. It's not something subtle. It's just not THAT hard to find a LTR especially if you are as non-picky as you claim.

Maybe men can tell you regard them with such apparent disgust (like referring to them in your head as "mediocre"). You seem to feel they're lucky to be with you. Perhaps they do not truly feel you think you're lucky to have them.

TixSwo · 2017-04-02T14:05:20+00:00

Male here

This are all educated guesses and assumptions based on my own experience and reading through RedPill forum. There is room for error here, but hopefully this is accurate and helpful.

You are Putting the pussy on a pedestal. From your comments it sounds like you are making the pussy some type of gesture that you think will make him commit to a relationship. This is same as guys paying for a big extravagant 3rd-4th date because he thinks it'll get him laid. I'm guessing the reason why you are doing this is you found people lose interest in you very quickly after having sex with you which means....
You don't provide much (if any) value outside of your looks. Based on your comments here and my experience with beautiful women, I'm guessing you're not a likable person (don't take this personal -most attractive women aren't). You may not realize it since guys are approaching you 24/7 and acting like they are interested in what you have to say when they just really want to bang you (so yeah your predicament is partially mens fault as well). But there are tons of things you can do to make men want to stick around. However my guess is because you are beautiful and worked as a model for 7 years, that formula positively reinforces shitty behaviors that definitely hinders your ability to maintain a LTR (or just relationships in general). In your 20s you may have gotten used to people providing you with attention, free meals and money (value) and the only value you have to provide in return is to just exist. A healthy relationship (any relationship) consists of equal exchange of value. The fact your relationships consistently terminate once you drop your panties means you weren't providing much value outside of your looks and the payout bonus of pussy.
As other people have said - try moving to a different city. Beauty is relative - you might be overestimating how much value it really holds. A 10 where I live might be a 5 in LA.
IMO I don't think you really want a RPM. You are attracted to their qualities (which is the point of being a RPM) but the idea of a monogamous LTR is not congruent with most of what I read in RP. The fact that people are advising you to date in more conservative, traditional backgrounds also reaffirms this fact - the Red Pill in the Matrix was all about breaking through the veil of illusion given to us, and those in traditional/religious upbringings tend to cling on to their Blue Pills. What it sounds like to me is you are looking for is the meanest Pit Bull you can find and then you want him to volunteer to cut his own balls off and volunteer to put a leash on. I don't care if you look like Beyonce, Katy Perry, Megan Fox or whatever - that is not gonna happen. Not only that but what you don't realize is that you will no longer be attracted to him if he does this.

If you really want a RPM, you need to be at peace with the fact that he will have other women. If you want to be the "twinkle in his eye" then you need to learn how to provide more value than the rest.

yakuzaou · 2017-04-02T09:01:09+00:00

I see you're from California--possibly the most liberal state in this country. I'm also from socal so I think I have a good idea of what the problem is. You can't date in LA; people aren't there looking for cozy marriages. I recommend either going inland or going north. Central California in particular is way more conservative. Also, not to sound strange but certain races are typically more conservative than others. Asians/Indians, for example, are extremely dedicated to LTR's but also more blue pill on average. My SO and his family/friends generally have the perspective of relationships are sacred, and it is a breath of fresh air considering the current climate of dating. I might also suggest seeking out religious men, if you yourself are religious.

MilkTeaTime · 2017-04-02T09:12:06+00:00

Perhaps try looking for a long-distance relationship since LA/big city men aren't working out for you. I went through your post history a bit and it seems like this has been an issue for you for awhile. Do you think that the obsessive mindset is causing you trouble? Vetting men and knowing what you want is good, but maybe the guys are getting some sort of strange vibe. It seems like you have no issue attracting men physically or on a superficial level, since they approach you just fine, right?, but the problem is stemming elsewhere, so on a deeper level, making them not want to commit. Is it a personality flaw, are you revealing something too early, etc.?

AlphaWeaboo · 2017-04-02T10:45:45+00:00

Like the others are saying, la is the clear case of why buy the milk if others are giving it away for free, in fact thats why f to f slutshaming exists, it screws over girls who want to go full ltr. If you can, move out, do it, big cities are always like that.

cholera_or_gonorrhea · 2017-04-03T15:57:32+00:00

Start dating up.

Seriously, go for the guys where you think, "out of my league and will probably dump me in two months when the young aspiring actress comes along."

You still have the same erroneous mentality that you had when you weren't the pretty girl, which is, "since I can't be pretty I might as well be interesting and well-read." Oh, and this one: "all of the successful good-looking guys are vapid, shallow, and not interested in commitment." Those are your insecurities projecting on those guys. And I read you doing this when you said you go for mediocre guys. Mediocre men = mediocre results.

I see a lot of myself in you, but I'm certain you're more accomplished and pretty. Anyway, it took me going on dates with guys that I was convinced were out of my league or the types I pidgeonholed as narcissistic a-holes that I realized how wrongly I stereotyped. I've since married a guy who I think, "I hope you don't wake up and realize how you're too good for me." Sweetly, he's said this about me, too.

So I repeat: date up.

umeme · 2017-04-02T09:21:53+00:00

OP, you sound like an entitled brat. There are plenty of beautiful women with careers who are open to relationships and they are swept up easily. The fact that you keep referring to yourself as a model and how sexyyyyy you are is a red flag. Sexy models get married easily as long as they're not coke or heroin addicts. The problem is not how beautiful you are. The problem is you're a brat about it.

You refer to other women who weren't models or earning six figures as "less qualified." Are you fucking kidding me? They were able to get married or have a relationship. Who's the less qualified woman now?

You also had this problem outside of California and you're almost 30 with no history of LTR. Major red flag.

The problem is you. Sorry to say it sister.

En-Zu · 2017-04-02T13:37:55+00:00

I thought RPW was more about how to 'Activate' or bring out trp traits in non trp men. As well as also just the general tricks of the trade like vetting a guy and securing & maintaining commitment once in a relationship.

cynicalhousewife · 2017-04-02T14:31:50+00:00

I had problems dating before also. I had one serious relationship before I met my husband. He was obsessed with video games to the point where he couldn't hold down a full time job and he developed an unpleasant friendship with a man who was a bit of a bad boy. He wasn't the sort of person I wanted to be around, especially after he bragged in front of me about anally raping a girl for cheating on him. He kept inviting this friend into our home and hanging out with him. He proposed to me and I said no. He was devastated but I'm not about to spend my life with a man who isn't sensible and brings delinquents into my home. He also kept on mentioning anal sex and kept trying to put his hands near my butt during times of intimacy, which I found upsetting and I began not wanting to have sex with him at all. We hadn't done it in a whole year when I left him and to be honest I no longer found him attractive. I met a wonderful Vietnamese man on a dating site after dating a lot of men who just purely wasted my time or were bad news. I messaged him and told him that I thought he was handsome. He came to meet me the next day and we ate dinner together and we have been pretty much inseperable ever since. We now have 2 children together and are expecting another. We got together very quickly. I found him very attractive and I just knew he was the type of man I wanted to be with. Before I dated him I had a string of very disappointing experiences with men, and if I am honest I thought I was never going to meet someone. I would consider dating sites. Also, don't be afraid to message men first. I actually took myself off of search results because I felt like I was getting too many messages from men I didn't really like the look of and only men I had messaged could see my profile. Surprisingly I actually found my prospects began to improve after I did this and I had several dates that week. However I met my husband and cancelled the rest of them because we got involved and realized we liked each other very quickly. A lot of people wouldn't advise moving so fast but it's worked for us. I would advise looking for men who are from more traditional cultures. Asian, Indian, African and Arab men are often good prospects. If you are white and would prefer your children to be white men in the south can be good prospects if you like them macho which I personally don't. I moved away quite far to be with husband. I would have honestly moved to another country to be with him if I had to.

Class_Punk · 2017-04-02T14:35:07+00:00

I'm pro childfree, and where I live its surrounded by single mothers and women who come across as more masculine, but I'm too comfortable here to move. So in the same vein, if you think if the location is making it harder to date, you have to make a choice about how important it is to you to be in a relationship and whether to uproot your life to raise your chances of finding someone or not. On top of moving towards conservative-leaning places, moving towards places with a higher ratio of men to women could give you an advantage as well. Liberals tend to flock to major cities, and promiscuity is the worst there. I don't see how most of those people are happy in the long term, seems like a vicious cycle of hedonism and misery.

Rivkariver · 2017-04-03T03:02:33+00:00

Hate to say it but it's your city. If you date online expand the geography. A good man will drive hours to see you.

JackGetsIt · 2017-04-06T02:31:53+00:00

I'm really late to this thread and there are a lot of comments already, and I haven't read them all, but I'll throw in my two cents. I think you have two problems.

You're trapped in the 27-30 bubble. This is a terrible place to be as a modern women in feminism 4.0 land. You get tons of mixed signals. Feminist media, blue pill men, and most of your friends who will want to keep you happy will tell you a big lie and they will say something like "you're in your prime!!" and "Lot's of women now a days are waiting for marriage and family till after 30, have fun girl!!" and "you're so much hotter then you were when you were 20!!." All of these lines are bold face lies that have become the norm in our culture to tell women. The reality is that 27-30 is the back side of your 18-25 peak SMV years. If women weren't constantly lied to they'd lower there standards and get more serious about dating and meeting men... But what happens to most 27-30 women?? Yup, you guessed it; they up their standards and they retract a little because they know subconsciously that they are losing their game a little bit. Personally I stay as far away from this age group of women. For the most part they are incredibly difficult to even have small talk with. They are either totally rejecting of me, or want to rush things or they are very skeptical of my intentions. This age group of women forgets that dating is about fun and getting to know the other person. If you are interviewing for a redpill man you're going to mess up the natural dynamics and put a lot a pressure on new relationships. I personally exclusively go after the 22-26 set or the 31-36 set. Both age ranges are a lot more fun and lower pressure, thus leading to better relationships.
There's a huge difference between using redpill women suggestions to find men and truly changing your perspective and trying to be a more subservient low maintenance women to prospective men. You need to more deeply internalize the redpillwomen suggestion. Lot's of men that seem like they want a FWB situation will do a 180 with the right women. Redpill talks a lot of how women shit test men but men also screen women and put them in categories really early on in the courtship process. Something you're doing is taking you out of consideration. Live the life of being a quality women and you will be surprised what turns up.

Side note: please stop using the 'LA has to many beautiful people' excuse. That's totally ridiculous. You have a lot of options in a big city. My guess is you're just not swallowing your pride and putting in the work to get out and meet more people. You need to go on a lot more short coffee dates and happy hours and just engage with more men. You're a women so there are plenty of men that will give you that opening and pay for it. Don't throw out the dating websites but meet men organically. Lot's of quality men aren't quite redpilled and are terrible at approach. Lot's of men that have approach down aren't looking for 'the one' they're still hoping that comes up organically. You don't have to force yourself on men but flirt more and show interest more to encourage men to take a risk on you.

Finally take a risk and one of these guys you like that you think there's a chance with but you're not quite sure.... Give it all. Submit and don't hold anything back. I call it the last 20%. I had LTR's that are seeing me a lot and giving it all sexually and relationship wise but they are holding back still because they don't want to get hurt. Well, if you want to show that you're wife material you have to give it all. You can't do this with every guy or it will eventually kill your soul but if you never do it you will never know if he might have changed his mind and bought the cow.

Good luck!

Title	Whats the next step after feeling like you're a quality RPW looking for a committed RPM?
Author	wonderlandgirl111
Upvotes	11
Comments	336
Date	April 1, 2017 3:26 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/62td17/whats_the_next_step_after_feeling_like_youre_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/whats-the-next-step-after-feeling-like-youre-a.87133 https://theredarchive.com/post/87133

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