Having an existential crisis right now... Is true love real?

Psychocist · 2018-05-21T20:29:14+00:00

People are selfish, point blank; love can die easily if she finds a better deal. That's it, accept it and find your purpose because no women's should be your purpose in life. Once you become a man, your purpose and goals are more important than women, and you are no longer afraid to lose someone you love.

X--Man · 2018-05-21T20:50:18+00:00

Based on my experience, true love (between a couple) is simply a feeling/emotion, and is only real or possible "in the moment." That moment can pass at any time.

The feeling of love may be real, but it is fleeting, and not eternal by any means.

TRP is a generalization. Could you find your unicorn? Maybe? Will you? Statistically, no, you won't find a woman that will be with you the rest of your life. You likely won't even find one who wouldn't cheat on you under the right circumstances. They are good guidelines to follow, but they are not always 100% concrete, with every single woman. AWALT, is simply a good rule to follow because it is generally true. Treat all woman as if they are AWALT, and your success will go up and your failures down. In general. You don't need to give up, but you do need to be aware, and know how to see the signs/red flags, and make the right moves to work in your own favor.

Ignorance is bliss...

redlittleboot · 2018-05-21T22:22:02+00:00

sadly no, welcome to the rage phase

knownrebel · 2018-05-21T20:42:25+00:00

At the core - people are animals and are driven through life by their primal subconscious urges. Your idea of love is rooted at physical attraction at several levels. Part of masculine attraction is his frame, his goals, worth and value. Once any part of this attraction wanes,or she sees you're a nice guy billy beta who won't treat her as a slut and dominate her, and you're no longer considered an adequate male for providing and reproduction, you get dumped or she branch swings to a dude who's "a better man" aka more alpha. Simple, primitive and primal. A lot of people are pretty primate-like. What love could be is something much more complex and deeper, and might not be centered around physical aspect or people at all. Word of advice : Start living your own life and do what you love. Don't waste your time looking for the meaning of love on empty headed and soulless THOTS.

BlackMisc · 2018-05-21T20:29:33+00:00

humans are animals

knowledgelover94 · 2018-05-21T22:28:33+00:00

"She's not yours, it's just your turn."

resnine · 2018-05-21T20:50:44+00:00

Depends on how you define TRUE love. If you mean that we all have soulmates and that there is one person made for each other us. I think this is more a question about God's existence than anything else. But it's interesting, you may think this girl at this time is true love and that she is the only girl for you. I know I felt this before, it's biological, us men are wired to attach onto a mate and protect her. We are not unique special snowflakes. Hey man, it is what it is. More or less, we are just experiencing a series a chemical reactions as sad as that seems. And this special girl who you think could never be replaced is more than likely going to mean nothing to you in a year or so when a better girl pops up that makes you wonder why you gave two shits about the girl you are currently sad about.

DonaldBaelish · 2018-05-21T22:27:10+00:00

Hang on genius.

You browse TRP over the year and never read the SIDE BAR?

instanly 2 articles will explain

Women In love ( SIDEBAR )
Men In love ( SIDEBAR )
Briffaults Law

Perfectly explains it, women are not socio paths and can experience emotional chemistry and attachment

so long as Briffaults law remains ACTIVE

MrBowlfish · 2018-05-21T20:30:31+00:00

The truth isn't as bad as you think it is. This girl was not attracted to you, for whatever reason. When a girl is attracted to you, she can fall madly in love.

flowrider00 · 2018-05-21T22:40:24+00:00

We are taught as children that love is unconditional. That people who don't love unconditionally are "selfish and cruel". The truth is, everything comes with conditions. We negotiate overt and covert contracts everyday.

There are exceptions to all rules. But even your family would abandon you past a certain point. This is not horrible. This is freeing because it means the people that do stick around long term, despite you ______ are worth having in your life.

FlyingSexistPig · 2018-05-22T01:00:47+00:00

True love isn't real, for women. When a woman says something like "I will love you forever", you have to tack on the clause, "right now" to the end of it. She does feel like she will love you forever, but it has conditions. The condition is that you continue to be lovable in her eyes.

The Red Pill can help you to understand what it is to be lovable in her eyes (hint: it's not your great communication or how in touch with your emotions you are. It's how well you're able to provide for her and protect her and lead her)

You talked to her a lot, so you're a great friend. Good for you. But that won't help her to love you.

There are 5 stages to grief. You experience grief whenever your world view is altered by reality. It's common to start with denial, the stage you're in now. "It simply can't be true that love doesn't exist". When your denial fails, because the world really IS different than your previous world view, you get angry, "I can't believe I was such a sucker to believe that women could love me." This gives way to bargaining: "Love does exist, but you have to give it space to let it breathe", etc. etc. There's depression and finally acceptance. You might bounce around through these stages, but they're coming, and you have to go through them all. You can't shortcut straight to acceptance. You have to experience the pain or your worldview won't change and you're taking the blue pill again.

lookoutitscaleb · 2018-05-22T00:20:47+00:00

I had a very similar experience one time. My family is incredibly religious. I took shrooms and stayed up tripping all night. The next morning I met my family and went to church with them. Sleep deprived and with mushroom fumes.

I had a moment where I realized Love was the lie. It's a way to control us and keep us under. The more I thought about it as a method of manipulation and way to control the masses the more sense it made. I don't know how much I truly believe it but it seems to be very true the more I meditate on the idea.

What I came to the conclusion of is more so your idea of what love is, is what is false. Love exists, true love exists. Love is much deeper than emotions of feeling good. To truly love someone you accept them fully for who they are, flaws and all. You can't love someone if you don't love yourself. If you love yourself you are complete without another person. So it folds on itself multiple times. There are 4 different types of love in the Greek Language: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_Loves

What in my opinion you're struggling with is the destruction of the Western love that you have been indoctrinated with. The "hollywood love" you speak of. When you finally love yourself will be when you realize what real love is. You're in a transitional phase, this too will pass.

Avesatanie · 2018-05-22T03:32:54+00:00

True love is possible and real: love yourself.

rockstarsheep · 2018-05-21T23:06:31+00:00

I think JBP defines love quite well in this.

Yes, it feels like shit right now. The relationship meant something to you. Things will get better. Just don't fixate on it. You'll just feel worse. There's more to life. Now go and live it.

Helpcalculus · 2018-05-21T23:25:07+00:00

What is love?

soulmysold · 2018-05-22T01:16:37+00:00

Analyze it. What: Serotonin, Oxytocin and dopamine. Why: Body's way of forcing you to pass on your genetic code.

To you it may feel like something deep, it's only years and years of evolution.

Doesn't make it any less real?

You can get the same chemical high from any other female. Hell, you can get oxytocin from a dog easily.

Don't let it depress you, be a man, be in control of your emotions. There is always someone better.

[deleted] · 2018-05-22T02:29:14+00:00

Define your terms. Love as you see it is not real. That is love like from your mommy or unconditional love.

Love within the bounds of the male and female imperatives is possible. Love as a verb. An action. Actions exist NOW, not as a platonic ideal in space.

As long as you fit the ideal she can love you...now.

You thought this chick was your soul and feels mate but I bet a big part of that was you liked to fuck her, right? Like all this sympathy shit, feelings, etc cant really be divorced from you liking to hit it. Thats the difference between a friend and girlfriend after all, right? If she blew up to 500 lbs something wouldnt be there, even if intellectually you liked her. Those qualities you liked would have a different context.

Well, it's the same with her. Being weak and out of control is gaining 500lbs of emotional bitch weight for men. And it dries them up as fast as a 500 lb cellulite whale in bbq sauce stained yoga pants with "juicy" on the ass makes your dick shrink.

Once that happens the chemistry is gone and "love" cant happen. Because love is a verb in the moment.

mallardcove · 2018-05-21T21:56:29+00:00

It's absolutely real, ignore the guys here who say otherwise. Even with all the TRP internalizing and practicing it for years, you are going to find a girl that is quality and one you want to spend time with and you'll get into an LTR. And if/when that LTR ends, its going to sting. No matter how much TRP you apply. Trust me, I've been there.

Anyone who claims it won't hurt or doesn't hurt is a liar. Ignore those fake alphas. So you are telling me you spend months with a quality girl and have a lot of fun moments, experiences and memories with her, and when it ends you are just going to be able to move on without any pain? Get the fuck out of here.

From my experience, its going to hurt. You'll be down, depressed and sad. But where TRP helps is that you get over it so much quicker than without TRP. I know my breakups pre-TRP it would take me months to get over it. My sole LTR breakup after TRP, it hurt, badly, but it only took a few days for me to get over it. Because TRP provides optimism, hope and motivation going forward as well as explanation and reasoning for why things happened.

I think the real pain was having to start over. It's fun to game women, have options, spin plates. But there is something about finding a quality girl who is more than that, and there are things you can only do with a girl you've gotten that far with, which takes time.

[deleted] · 2018-05-21T22:11:35+00:00

Buy yourself a dog man, and stop being such a pussy or it will chase you to death.

phenixgold · 2018-05-21T22:04:45+00:00

Wrong sub to ask that

chazthundergut · 2018-05-22T05:49:49+00:00

True love and absolute commitment are 100% real.

But they don't come from chicks.

True love is the love you must have for yourself.

Absolute commitment is what you must give to your purpose.

So take all your frustration and anger and self-pity and put it all under the squat rack you thirsty bitch.

MisunderstoodAsian · 2018-05-21T23:11:32+00:00

No. It's not. And if you go through life believing it is, you're gonna have a rough time.

NeezaPatricia · 2018-05-22T02:01:26+00:00

a woman will cling to you no matter what if she's way below your league. even that, if the ugly woman you settled with fortunately found a "better" guy also wanting to date a girl way below his league, then she'll replace you.

Bear-With-Bit · 2018-05-22T03:08:35+00:00

I was there, man. All in. Met a beautiful girl, asked her out, she became my girlfriend, we moved in together, we got a puppy together, I proposed, got married... then divorce talks in less than 5 months of marriage.

And you know what?

I was fucking lucky.

THAT was slavery. THIS is freedom.

I hope you're ready willing and able to start this journey.

mrHappyPotatoe · 2018-05-22T03:35:12+00:00

What points to that? Disney?

Wrath_of_Trump · 2018-05-22T03:42:37+00:00

Genghis Khan proved true love is a myth

Casd12 · 2018-05-21T21:19:19+00:00

Love according to you is loyalty, get a dog.

purplefidgetmidget · 2018-05-21T21:16:00+00:00

Can a parent love a child, knowing that the child will eventually leave and start their own life?

Is it really love if that happens?

Yes. Remember, it's just your turn. So you can have "love" while it lasts.

Love is really just bliss where you're happy with one girl enough that you don't need a harem and you don't long for something else.

RedPilledRoaster · 2018-05-21T22:58:51+00:00

True love? The fuck is that?

resnine · 2018-05-21T20:49:21+00:00

Even though we talked so, so much

well that's one thing you can work on

It’s too fucking terrible

let me guess: raised by a single mom?

BurnieSlander · 2018-05-21T23:15:21+00:00

We just “didn’t have enough chemistry” according to her, even though we talked so, so much.

You talked too much. Law of power #4: Always say less than is necessary.

Women don’t want a man who is chatty- that’s what women have girlfriends for. They want mystery. They want a man they can’t quite figure out. They want a man of ACTION, not words. Know when to shut up.

Time to stop lurking and start learning.

And yes love exists but not in the way you think it does.

ashleyshafer27 · 2018-05-21T23:41:08+00:00

Welcome to heartbreak hotel kiddo. Everyone has checked in before, better for you to swallow the pill now.

[deleted] · 2018-05-21T23:51:55+00:00

Men can love women. Women cannot love men. At least not in the way we want. Head over to /r/mrp and check it out. It's a sub that has men who love their women but use TRP principles to maintain a happy and harmonious union and to minimize their hypergamy by triggering the alpha strategy within the relationship.

huge_gap · 2018-05-22T00:40:28+00:00

The truth is as bad as you fear. You can still love and have good relationships though.

Zanford · 2018-05-22T00:55:13+00:00

But everything points to that.

I can't even tell whether you mean towards love being real or not being real.

If you mean 'being real', you're gonna need to pony up your own evidence.

Love, my friend, IS real, in the same way every emotion is 'real', but it's not unconditional. That's the point you're swirling around. Her love is always conditional on you being the best deal she can get.

Not to get too Morpheus, but how do you evrn define real. 'Is it real' is not even an interesting question. Ask yourself more actionable questions, like 'how to establish continued attraction and loyalty'.

Deep_freeze202 · 2018-05-22T01:11:33+00:00

It depends on how you define love, if by true love you mean the fairytale idealized fantasy of meeting your soulmate having an instant powerful connection so strong that you just know they are the one, followed by marriage kids builing a home and living happily ever after..... Then no, it doesn't exist.

If you mean meeting a woman you have a genuine connection with and having a long term relationship until you both inevitably change and grow apart resulting in the end of said relationship, then yes.

agree-with-you · 2018-05-22T02:02:20+00:00

Love is real but not in the way you want it to be / were taught.

I love you from a woman = I need you in this moment.

You are loved by your parents, grandparents etc. but you give your true, platonic love to your woman, child and pet. It goes like this:

Birth family->you->your family. No woman will truly love you unless you are always a 10/10 Chad, and even then it's just lust not love.

Cmdrj-nice · 2018-05-22T02:58:30+00:00

True love is as real as a unicorn

The_Lightskin_Wonder · 2018-05-22T05:31:12+00:00

There is a such thing as true love, but people don't speak of the truths that follow it. True love is not something that is destined to happen, or some magical soul binding phenomenon. True love is simply an emotion caused by a chemical that two partners happen to share at the same level, which does allow to partners to stick together longer than most, but it is not some guarantee, and love is such an intense emotion. It may always feel like true love but more times than not, the feeling is mutual but not equal.

Were human beings, but we are animals. We have instincts, feelings, and goals of our own. You can't blame someone for going for what they want, and you definitely can't blame yourself either.

In this case she's not wrong to lose feelings for you and do something about it, and you're not wrong for still having those feelings; but you are wrong to think that what we do here is manipulation. you are wrong to think that there might not be a good side to love. In actuality you experienced the good side to love already, you just werent prepared to face the bad side, or even believe there is a bad side to love. Name on things in the entire universe that lasts forever? even black holes die at some point.

What we speak of in here isn't some temporary trick or some game, it's truth. We strategize about what's really going on in the world and how to deal with it. We aren't here to tell you that you can't find love; we are here to tell you that you can find love, but it's not what you lived your life believing it to be. Accept it and it will make things less confusing and easier on you.

mega_kook · 2018-05-22T05:51:13+00:00

Learn to love yourself and don’t get too invested with other people’s opinions of you cause you can’t control that. You can only control yourself, so TRP is all about making yourself the best person you can be and not letting anyone or anything(like a breakup) hold you back from feeling how you want to and doing what you want to get done in life. It seems you let yourself fall for this girl way too fast. You stooped to her level, fell under her spell and entered her frame. That’s why a breakup like this will hurt so much for you, because you gave her the power in the relationship and just let her hurt you. Real connections (or love, whatever you want to call it) come from both of you having an equal amount of trust and investment in each other. If you are really trying to have a stable relationship, you need balance and commitment from both sides. Most of us in TRP don’t like long term or serious relationships because we can’t guarantee our partner will be as committed as us, so if they decide to end it then it’s devastating because you were too committed. Gain experience with as many women as you can and build up a resistance to getting hurt by them. This is called abundance mentality. When you are finally confident in yourself then try another serious long term relationship.

hazaraMoghul · 2018-05-22T06:25:35+00:00

I am just amazed with the fact you are a red pill and yet suffering a beta bitch issue.

Morphs_ · 2018-05-22T08:43:20+00:00

Well my friend, now you finally understood why this is called The Red Pill, and why it's hard to swallow. Swallowing the pill means accepting these truths for what they are.

They will fuck with your mind and your vision on the world. Just like Neo (you have seen The Matrix, have you?) you have to wake up and relearn the world in this new light.

It's hard, you'll probably get into the anger phase. But you'll be alright and eventually you'll enjoy life better than before.

TheStumblingWolf · 2018-05-22T09:05:32+00:00

It's not that love is impossible as such, it's that the definition you've been spoonfed by popular media is completely wrong.

I explain it away with the fact that I think love is really just attraction. To me that explains relationships/marriages that die slowly because people let themselves go.

mushroom_overlord · 2018-05-22T10:15:18+00:00

Love exists. It exists as a feeling because of chemicals in your brain. It exists as an evolved mechanism for pair bonding. That doesn't mean it can't be meaningful, it just means it's subjective to your interpretation. Pair bonding can be meaningful to you, or maybe it's bullshit. Depends on what you want.

True love is Hollywood lies. There is no "one" and this moment there exist many women you would be happy being with and could love given the right circumstances. The fact is, you are going to have failed relationships when you thought you found the perfect girl, and people who you have feelings for who feel nothing back and never will, or will fall out of those feelings. You might be that person to someone else.

Pick yourself back up and move on. And remember, there are two pills, many would pick the blue and maybe be happier, but the red is available for the taking.

Edit: To address a few points I forgot:

We just “didn’t have chemistry” according to her. Even though we talked so, so much.

It happens. Talking does not equal attraction, which therefore cannot be negotiated. Pick yourself up and move on, this was inevitable. RP can help with building attraction in the future.

I’ve been lurking TRP for a couple of years now, the prevailing message I get is that “women are sociopaths and will use you unless you use them more”

All people are utilizing other people. It helps, however, to give something in return or to avoid taking too much and alerting others to your deviance, which is why most people do not exhibit antisocial behaviors, including women. It's society, plain and simple. Only the really skilled socio/psychopaths succeed, most are easily picked out and live more miserably. You're going to make some selfish decisions in your life when you aren't going to be punished by society, as are women, because despite being selfish creatures you have an innate understanding of the system.

cptgoatsack · 2018-05-22T10:37:12+00:00

Nope. That's just you tripping off chemicals released by your brain.

Datanami · 2018-05-22T10:37:20+00:00

Rollo Tomassi addresses this very question in the first chapter of his book The Rational Male, which is an absolute must read.

[deleted] · 2018-05-22T16:07:13+00:00

You now get to define what "love" is to you. you thought it was the Disney Dream, raindrops on roses....

Welcome to the desert of the real.

You've been given the gift of vision...

"And immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he regained his sight"

Don't be like Cypher. You can't go back.

You've not been doing shit on here for a few years. start over. From the beginning. Because you're not getting it.

wkndatbernardus · 2018-05-22T18:19:13+00:00

I think love is a decision/action you make over and over again. Like Aristotle said, love (highest form of friendship) is the act of willing the good for another so, there is something temporary about it. It has to be renewed over and over. Like fitness, you don't just wake up one day and say, "I'm fit so, I don't have to go back to the gym." Of course that would be ridiculous. Fitness, like love or happiness or any virtue, takes continual action done at a high level.

What you seem to be talking about is more like infatuation, what we would commonly refer to as being "in love". Certainly this infatuation can aid us in loving another object (in this case, a woman) but it shouldn't be mistaken for the virtue of love (charity) itself that transcends the emotions evoked by infatuation.

red13blue4 · 2018-05-22T19:35:28+00:00

Yes, you can truly love yourself.

hawkeaglejesus · 2018-05-22T20:39:18+00:00

You people make it sound like such a thing as love is impossible

Your masculine idea of "love" that is unchanging and uncompromising "love you for the rest of our lives through sickness and in health" kind of love doesn't exist. At least not from this generation of women.

Love for women in the modern age is about as binding as a cellphone contract. It exists only as long as you're providing her with what she needs, and if a better contract comes along she'll sure as shit take the early termination fee to hop on the better deal.

chadjugo · 2018-05-24T09:49:39+00:00

FUCK NO!

There are many people in this world that you will experience “true love” with. And if you quantify something considered nominal, then love is just another glorified n count

AtlasCuckd · 2018-05-24T23:42:28+00:00

First off, welcome to partially swallowing the pill. You're not there yet. What tells me that is your response to her citing lack of chemistry "we talked so, so much". You're missing the point entirely. Attraction isn't a choice.

You might relapse, however we'd like you to be conscious of that. In fact, you NEED to be conscious of that, or anything for that matter to be a successful self-aware man. So hit the sidebar and start reading.

And for the love of all that's good, don't tell this girl or your friends that you are on TRP. If you think this story was a rude awakening, just wait til you find out who your REAL friends are.

If you got questions, DM me. Not to whine, but to learn. Otherwise, there's a lot of knowledge here and you will get good advice. Good luck brother

abh985 · 2018-05-22T01:03:16+00:00

Of course it is real..

TRP just tells explains the SMV to you and advocates self-improvement to look more attractive. I was always "red-pilled" since I was like 10 without even realizing what it meant until it blew up on the internet.

Some of the posts on TRP are gold mines and some are borderline retarded. Take it with a pinch of salt. Love is just emotional attachment to a person over shared bonds and memories or a blood relation. Nothing else. It exists just like any other abstract emotion does.

Title	Having an existential crisis right now... Is true love real?
Author	throwaway25789
Upvotes	55
Comments	81
Date	May 21, 2018 8:23 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8l3yxm/having_an_existential_crisis_right_now_is_true/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/having-an-existential-crisis-right-now-is-true.97853 https://theredarchive.com/post/97853

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