Dating after divorce low self confidence

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2025-11-05T22:41:04+00:00

Start listening to Man Empowering dating podcasts, if you don't know where to start, I suggests Mark Sing. He has actual, practical advice. Not the usual "have confidence", "be a man" BS.

Good luck brother. The world needs men.

Ok-Guidance6491 · 2025-11-05T06:03:07+00:00

Go find some male friends! You need to get some mojo back. 46 here and I feel just like you. Lost two properties. Work blue collar. Body wearing out. Gonna work til death. You know what? Fuck it! Still alive. Still got some juice left. Not gonna quit.

Regarding women, they are all crazy but you’ll have better luck meeting one in the wild. The apps basically force the women into seeing you the way you describe yourself in your post. BUT, in person you can spark them with your personality. For better or worse they are emotional creatures. Work it to your advantage. Say nothing about your ex or your insecurities. Just make the focus going out and having fun with another adult. You got this, dude! Have fun with it!

Immediate-Story2562 · 2025-11-05T03:56:20+00:00

It's all about confidence my guy.
Don't take dating too seriously.
If they ghost you or if they get the 'ick' or if you feel they dont like you for whatever reason, just laugh it off and send them on their way.
At our age we dont need their validation and if they dont want to be with you, you should see it as a blessing in disguise.
I'm early 50 and also loosing more than half of everything I own and wont ever financially recover so that why I wont take woman seriously anymore and definately wont ever commit without keeping one foot out the door for when they turn on you, and most will eventually turn on you.
Remember its not always getting a woman, the hard part is keeping them happy ....

curtdogg47 · 2025-11-05T01:21:55+00:00

Honestly, I am 46 and share some of your struggles. Hey a lot of women out there and many guys are in the same situation! Most of us been through a Divorce some a couple of times. No shame in your financial situation, or the struggle you are in. Most you will meet have been through it, or are still going through the healing. All of us are out there trying to rebuild.

Finding confidence in yourself again after divorce is a tough battle! Hang in there!

cnarsystems · 2025-11-05T00:08:25+00:00

broke dudes get all kinds of women--look at the guys who are frequently in jail always have some piece once they get out. it is a mentality. stop giving a fuck.

liquid-icee · 2025-11-04T22:52:18+00:00

I just plain don’t care. 1 year post divorce, I’m a lot younger than you but I don’t even have my own place I had to move back in with family. It’s far from ideal but that’s what I had to do and I’m grateful that I have loving family that had my back since day 1.

If a woman can’t understand that it’s not a result of laziness or frivolous spending but unfortunate circumstances that led you to this financial situation you don’t want to be with her anyway.

datguyeh · 2025-11-04T20:14:28+00:00

My own experience is dating sucks but go out with a couple, youll quickly realize the daying pool is of people is similar situations all with their own trauma and bs.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-11-04T14:38:56+00:00

With the exception of a small percentage of gold diggers women do not care about your finances. As long as you have your own place, can pay your own way, then you are good. They do not care about what car you drive, how many zeros you have in your bank account, how much you earn, if you rent or if you own a home.

What they do care about is physical attraction and how you make them feel.

At your age go get yourself on trt and spend the next 2 years building a nice physique. If you build yourself an aesthetic bod at 10-12% bodyfat then dating will be on easy mode. Older men with a hot bod are in very high demand by women of all ages and are in short supply. Women will approach and flirt with you when you are out and about, you just exchange numbers and then set up a date.

To move from dating to a relationship you just have to know how to make them feel good. That means leading the relationship (you setup the dates and getaways), understanding what makes them tick (biggest thing is listening to them without giving advice - women process by talking, and they talk ALOT), giving affection without being needy, knowing how to take care of them in the bedroom (make sure to lead when having sex), and maintaining healthy boundaries. Do that and they will be glued to your side as long as you want them to be.

You've been sold a line of BS that women want a financial provider. They want an emotional provider with a hot bod that all of their friends gush over and say "I wish my man was like yours". $$$ does not enter the equation.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-11-04T11:52:03+00:00

Brother if you're taking care of your body, can dress well, and lay down the pipe, that's all that matters.

You don't gotta do fancy dinners or vacations. Take care of yourself, put some effort into how you look, and go to pound town.

Women are simple. They want attention, communication, and compliments.

Bogusky · 2025-11-04T08:04:18+00:00

I know that loneliness can be crippling but don't think about it like you're wooing someone. Be straight and direct about who you are. I found this initially seemed to hurt my dating app responses, but it also seemed to detract a lot of time wasters.

I'm getting much better matches now that I've cut aside the generic, nice guy blurb ("I too like the great outdoors"). Also, remember that one response is enough, if it's the right one.

serkovavantgarden · 2025-11-04T07:26:43+00:00

Bro, your story reflects mine

Had to leave a nice house for ex housing association.

No big deal. My own pad where I have total control.

Mindset, mate.

Do you think your ex is moping about right now? Most likely too busy riding the dicklodocus express to even think about it.

You’re in a great position. You have total control over your life and don’t have your ex hovering about. Make it happen.

No woman wants a man who’s moping about. That’s dries up a vag like global warming.

You’re in control mate. Make it happen.

Key_Rock4862 · 2025-11-04T07:05:33+00:00

I think there are a lot of women who are successful, who really want the emotional connection and will overlook your finances for non financial status. Your job, your personality, fitness health, attitude. Try learning from the way women date. They don’t lead with finances

a_day_at_a_timee · 2025-11-04T06:16:58+00:00

there are a LOT of women who have advanced degrees, own businesses, and have their own house (sometimes multiple houses). often these women are just as lonely as you are.

after my ex took most of my savings, i made up my mind to not date anymore waitresses, hairdressers, life/wellness coaches, or stay at home moms. in fact, i didn’t want to date any moms at all. i already did the step dad thing for 16 years and it was a whole lot of not fun.

so i dated a couple doctors, a kinky travel nurse practitioner, a sexy young DPT, a bat shit insane psychiatrist, an adorable VP of marketing, a horny teacher, and a hippie chick marriage/family therapist.

No-Addendum-1373 · 2025-11-04T06:13:21+00:00

I am you, just younger and with a well preserved retirement (national) system.

She got the house, the furniture, the compensation and put me under a lot of debt. There were times I ate a single meal 4 days a week and two meals 3 days a week. This went on for 1.5 years.

During that time, I had 5-6 hook ups. I realized that women rarely take the current tangible information into consideration. They rather look at how you present the future. For them, it is not about "I have this", "I got that"; it is more about "I plan to..." and "I will have...".

I also didn't and still don't want a long term relation. Women are unmaturing children imo. And that took the pressure off of my shoulders since they were not the main focus for me anymore.

Put dating aside, boss. It comes if it comes. Focus on the "You". Your health, your finances, your aspirations. Once you put women out of the main objective of yours, you will have more admiration from them anyways. But that should not be why you do it because then you are still secretly placing them into your objective.

Focus on "You" for the sake of "You".

Title	Dating after divorce low self confidence
Author	Fluffy_Afternoon652
Upvotes	24
Comments	32
Date	November 4, 2025 5:26 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1onz8g9/dating_after_divorce_low_self_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dating-after-divorce-low-self-confidence.1565646 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565646

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