Does divorce hurt women less?

pegleg_legal · 2021-12-23T08:18:23+00:00

I think the person who wants the marriage to end less, or not at all, is the one who hurts the most. The one who was betrayed is the one who hurts most. The one whose expectations were woefully unmet hurts the most.

The one who still sees their ex as the person they thought they married hurts forever.

nyegeza · 2021-12-23T11:37:15+00:00

The solution ; don't get married.

oldskoolflavor · 2021-12-23T14:10:49+00:00

Yes. This is for obvious reasons. They're just simply not afraid of it. Remember, marriage in this country is a contract in which only one party can break it without any consequences and actually benefit from it. This is the most bitter pill to swallow for a lot of men who grew up believing the Disney fantasy or attempting to achieve the lifestyle their parents had. These are just different times.

Long-Review-1861 · 2021-12-23T20:49:32+00:00

Read several accounts of women literally pining for years for their exs. Some but not all women genuinely love the man for who he is

Kwen_Oellogg · 2021-12-23T08:27:30+00:00

It seems like most women do not pair-bond. At least not in the way a man does. So when the bond (marriage) is dissolved they don't have as much trauma to get over.

That is just my perspective.

Creative-Drop1816 · 2021-12-23T15:57:41+00:00

Yes, absolutely divorce hurts women less.

We have a system that is set up to cater to women's every need. They have financial aid programs for single mothers and an endless sea of help for the poor damsels in distress.

I think women do go through more emotional pain from the severing of the relationship, but men suffer more over the long run. Men have to endure the abuse for years on end especially when a clean cut cannot be made i.e. forced government payments, support, children custody issues.

Once the connection is severed and women are emotionally over the relationship they don't mind manipulating every situation to their advantage and like to twist the dagger they place in men's back.

Perfect example:

Divorced for a little over 3 years now, and just a few days ago my Ex decided to twist the blade again.

My Ex gave our dog away to some strangers a few days ago without even consulting me about it (appears innocent enough...right?). We have had this dog since he was a baby. He was born an anxious pup and does not like most men. He has severe anxiety issues and can be a handful. He is a big lab and can be quite destructive at times. She knew all of this and basically forced me to take him while we were going through the divorce process. I could barely feed and shelter myself thanks to the courts making me continue to pay all the bills for her even though I didn't receive any of the of the benefits of living at home anymore. I was basically couch surfing with an 80 lb wrecking ball and had to make it my mission to take care of him so he did not destroy any of my relationships with the people nice enough to let me stay with them.

Long story short about 2 years later about 1 year after the divorce the Ex moved out to the country and wanted to take him back. She promised to take care of him and told me he would have room to run. I felt so bad for my dog that he had to be locked up for 13+hours a day almost every day due to my job that I regrettably let him go due to still lacking the resources for him and myself.

That lasted about 6 months she moved back to the city and six months after that (last Monday) she gave him up for adoption without any hint to me until after the fact. This was 100% a cold and calculated move.

She did it because she is moving in with a new guy and told me about the dog situation in order to explain her reasoning for getting rid of him to me.

She knows I have a place now and just fenced in my entire backyard this past summer. She didn't even have the decency to offer him back to me.. This was just another way for her to try and manipulate my feelings.

I played it off and cold Grey rocked her. Just said it was fine and even took it a step further to offer and send the information for his microchip to the new family.

Only a woman can be this manipulating and cruel to someone they once loved. We have children together and I try to be as accommodating as I can because of this, but sometimes I really feel like telling our kids how horrible and spiteful she really is. I never will because that is not the type of man I am. But I never thought in my wildest dreams that 3 years later my Ex would still be going out of her way to try and manipulate me.

Worst of all is I have to pay her to be a Bitch to me, what a racket. Nowhere else can you make your bosses life a living hell and still get paid for it.

Government needs to get out of the marriage business. It's not good for anyone.

Stay strong Brothers

kingmanifestation · 2021-12-23T18:24:31+00:00

They use emotions...they do not have emotions. This is why you make her and her family pay a dowry.

The marriage and its success would be attached to real financial consequences for her and her family if it goes left. If she is ok with having conditions on your portion of the marriage, then she should be ok with you having conditions on it.

If not then she is there to take and use and leave...Dont worry about their feelings too much during divorce or any other time after that...

They figure out how to live life without really fast...No need to give time, attention, or more resources than necessary

akihonj · 2021-12-23T12:05:09+00:00

It's hardly surprising if you look at marriage stats for the west, 50% of all marriages end in divorce, 80% of those initiated by the wife.

That increases to around 84% if she is on her second and around 90% for her third.

Around 47-57% of working women will cheat, that number increases to around 70% if she gets promoted or is earning the higher amount, it increases further the higher up the corporate ladder she goes.

Just looking at those numbers alone should tell you that generally speaking women are incapable of the thing called love, they cannot see past their current emotional state.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-12-23T15:52:08+00:00

Well, with child support, alimony, government assistance, and guaranteed custody of the kids, why would the woman hurt at all? If anything, she's celebrating getting all the cash prizes by destroying her husband.

Darkfire66 · 2021-12-23T14:56:34+00:00

This is the whole red pill foundation right which I read into and a lot of it seem to click for me early on when I was really bitter but I wouldn't read too deep into it.

The truth is that women have way more access now than they ever have before. Even an average looking woman will have hundreds of thirsty dudes begging to take her out if she posts up on some attention seeking site. Now that's just as much men's fault as women with how things are in the modern dating shit show.

It's all well and good until they hit the wall.

What I've taken away from all this is just to be the best man you can so you can attract a higher quality woman and hold your boundaries and demand they respect yours or drop them. Don't waste your time on somebody who is going to pull bullshit games there are a few billion women out there and a lot of them are good ones.

I've committed to being the best that the woman I'm with now can do so that she doesn't leave and if she does I will be able to find another good woman to replace her with.

That's more of an introspection than just saying all women are hardwired to be traitorous whores or whatever the situation calls for.

Beesknees307 · 2021-12-23T07:53:04+00:00

Financially, absolutely not

JD-Anderson · 2021-12-23T16:53:47+00:00

When I understood that a man is always expendable in the eyes of women and society in general, it gave me the understanding to have peace with this fact.

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2021-12-23T17:21:22+00:00

My soon-to-be-ex (we've signed but it's not finalized) is hurting pretty bad, because now she has to actually work for a living. She's probably just a little too crazy for anyone to marry her (as soon as they find out about "there's someone living in the attic stealing my stuff and editing any security camera footage with them" they'll probably ghost her).

JayZ755 · 2021-12-24T20:34:59+00:00

Depends on the woman. I have a couple of female cousins that were kind of destroyed emotionally. If the man is genuinely the bad actor, I think the women kind of never recover.

Others not so much. They do mostly view relationships as serial. Problem is as I get older, as a man, the best ones are already too broken by another man, and the others can't commit long term.

derelictherds · 2021-12-24T04:48:25+00:00

This will probably be an unpopular opinion since this sub seems to have a lot of MGTOWs participating lately - IMO the MGTOW thing is weird and cringey and the hardcore followers of this lifestyle are misinformed & annoying(kinda like militant vegans).

I think the party who initiates divorce hurts less emotionally and moves on more quickly. If there's income disparity between parties then typically the breadwinner suffers more financially. It's as simple as that. There are no puppet masters or invisible boogie men.

tbebestisyettocome · 2021-12-23T09:22:07+00:00

Or...how about this : the woman has been unhappy for years. She has talked, begged, pleaded, cried, screamed for years to get his attention, affection, or whatever it is she needs. All goes unheard. More years pass. She tries. She tells herself they could live separate lives together. Divorce is the last thing she wants. She truly tries to continue the marriage. Years go by with no change. She has long ago lost her love and respect for him but stays. For the kids, to uphold the vows, to save the families from pain. Until her pain becomes unbearable 💔. She decides she has given enough. Enough time, patience, love, peace of mind. Time to pull the plug. She has suffered for so long and now feels a giant wave of relief come over her. She is still sad, but she will heal and her life will go on.

He : never saw it coming . Never thought she'd do it. Completely surprised.

No, divorce is not easier for women. Breaking up the family is not easy for women. Breaking marriage vows, hurting your friends and family is not taken lightly. No its not about money or status.

Its about sometimes having to save your own life and sanity.

Because he "never saw it coming" . Never thought she'd do it.

Women suffer prior to divorce, men suffer after.

Everyone suffers.

2021-12-24T20:56:11+00:00

It depends. From my situation I’m doing fine mentally but my stbx is still mad as hell, not taking it as well as I am. So the answer is it depends.

ChainsawJones1984 · 2021-12-27T01:56:52+00:00

It's all relative. A younger woman who is hooked-up can bounce back faster, and will often date and shop for a new man before leaving the existing one. That's why they don't see it as cheating. It's not for recreation. It's a survival tactic. Some women keep a number of guys nurtured to be there if she needs them.

A woman with either a low self-esteem or older can be much impacted by the separation of she did not initiate it. This is especially true if she has let herself fall apart, heavy and not in her best person. She can feel like all her options are gone and that she will die alone.

A man who has invested to much of himself into the relationship/marriage will have it very hard. Too many men these days by media and such believe they are suppose to be all-in on a relationship, and they are getting into trouble that often ends with years of recovery and possibly suicide.

Title	Does divorce hurt women less?
Author	western_poet1
Upvotes	31
Comments	56
Date	December 23, 2021 7:36 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/rmqb2i/does_divorce_hurt_women_less/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/does-divorce-hurt-women-less.1091069 https://theredarchive.com/post/1091069