Does it still just randomly hit you?

I’m 3.5 months in from her telling me she is done. And from there it was light speed to when she moved out. 06/11 bomb dropped, 07/22 she was gone. I’ve only seen her a couple times since then.

Just got done eating breakfast, house is crazy quiet except for hearing the dogs breathing during their post breakfast sleep and it’s still seems so surreal.

22 years together and she’s just, gone. Someone I’ve basically seen and interacted with on a daily basis for 22 years and it’s just over. No reaching out by either one of us unless it’s been about the divorce or the kids.

The transition was so fast and so complete that it’s still hard to believe it’s actually happening. She’s moved on so deliberately it’s like I was never a part of her life. When we have spoken to one another her dismissiveness and curt interactions towards me are so blatant it’s like she talking to someone she’s never met.

It’s been such a whirlwind of emotions ever since, the lowest of lows that I didn’t think I’d ever get out of and moments of clarity knowing I’ll prevail in the end.

So as I clicked off Sportscenter to start my day it just randomly hit again, like holy shit, this is really happening. The life I had grown accustomed to, had built with her and planned the future with, disappeared into thin air.

How is it even possible? How did it come to this? How can someone just ignore what’s there, what could have been, our past and walk out on a husband and family because they want to so they can focus on their happiness because they’ve changed? Why be with someone for so long and not want to try to make the marriage stronger for us and for our kids?

It’s like a trick has been played on me and I still don’t get it.

I’ve made a lot of strides since early on but have a long way to go to come out the other end healed, but when it hits me that this is my life now, it’s still difficult to wrap my head around.

How many of you are just as confused as I am as to why this is even happening? And, does it still hit you out of the blue that’s it’s really happening to you too?