Don't work so hard brothers

Rowinamar · 2023-12-21T01:32:50+00:00

I think it's admirable that there are still men today who work hard to provide for their families.

Whether they appreciate it or not, well, that is between God and her. But the important thing is that you can have a clear conscience and the peace of knowing that you, as a man, fulfilled your role. What we sow, we reap. If you really did a good job and they didn't appreciate it, don't worry... God has something better for you, and it will be much more than what you ever imagined.

Don't let the harm others did to you change the exceptional person you are. 🙏

I would recommend to work hard to live a good life, build memories, travel, spend quality time together, etc .. no just for material things. 🤍

Tough_Bicycle_8843 · 2023-12-20T07:31:47+00:00

Well said brother

Worried_Baker_9462 · 2023-12-20T04:19:18+00:00

Don't expect to be appreciated by people who expect you to serve them.

acg34 · 2023-12-20T00:03:11+00:00

I was under the stupid notion of happy wife happy life.

Borntadoodishes · 2023-12-19T23:11:50+00:00

I was not appreciated either. Worked myself ragged for years to support us. Blue collar work. I was an engaged father and did most of the housework. But continually heard “I was never around!” As if I ABANDONED her and my kid…it was so hurtful to hear even though it was untrue, she said it over and over. As if I was having the time of my life as the bread maker.

orussell03 · 2023-12-19T21:14:18+00:00

You stood up for yourself, and you can be free now. Enjoy it, and look forward to a great, fun filled life. 👊

SecretDoctor8121 · 2023-12-19T20:49:29+00:00

My kido actually appricate me só damn I work my ass off.j pay what im legaly bind tó pay to my ex but I pay minimum wage for myself As I work As a selfemployed contractor for my own PLC so ex CMS can't touch my company assest.....the extra money goes torwards my son só I Will still work 6 out of 7 and otherwise I have nothing else tó do

Particular_Car7127 · 2023-12-19T20:00:09+00:00

There are a lot of bitter pills a man has to swallow in family court, but second to losing your kids, is losing everything you worked your ass off for. The facts are, the SAHM or mother's value is taken for granted by the court and the blood, sweat, and sacrifice of men is pissed all over by family court.

I can't echo OP's sentiments enough. Men need to understand how family court adjudicate against breadwinning men treating them as second class citizens. Family men need to understand they need to sacrifice more for the kids timewise, rather than money wise. A SAHM is always a winner in family court.

Angry_Sex_ · 2023-12-19T19:35:55+00:00

My soon to be ex was/is a manipulative parasite.

Literally, just takes and takes without limit. The moment anything doesn't go her way or she's confronted, the gaslighting goes into high gear.

A selfish child that never grew up. I can't wait to be free!

Weary_Landscape_7098 · 2023-12-19T19:35:15+00:00

Agreed. Life is too short to work hard for people who don't appreciate it, and I learned that the hard way.

Some people, especially some women are never appreciative of the work a man does, especially the work and sacrifices of her husband (yes this is stereotyping, but I personally experienced this in my own marriage, and I've observed it with my own eyes in other people's marriages). Nothing is ever good enough for her, nothing is ever done fast enough for her. You could do 999 things out of 1,000 perfectly, and she'd complain about the 1 thing that you screwed up. Meanwhile, the concept of her taking responsibility or accountability for anything is a foreign concept, and it will be a cold day in hell before she ever apologizes for anything. I was with my ex-wife for almost 15 years and I can count on one hand the number of true, actual apologies I ever got from her.

I had a huge rant typed out but decided to delete it. Let's just go with this: I worked my fingers to the bone for my ex-wife and my family, and all I got for it was a shitty divorce.

Fellow men: just know that in all likelihood, you will never truly be appreciated by the women in your life for your time, your efforts, and your sacrifices. Yes there are rare women who actually appreciate their husband, but most women (especially the entitled crop of women today) will never actually appreciate you, or what you do for her and for your family. They will use you up and spit you out, and move on to the next guy. Some of them will actively shit-talk you behind your back to their family, friends, and co-workers, telling them lies and exaggerated stories where she's the hero/victim and you're an asshole. To these women, you are nothing more than a plow horse to be used and abused.

Ok_Calendar_6728 · 2023-12-19T18:25:56+00:00

I know a lot of women with hardworking and great Ex Husbands. They provided, made children with them and then the women get bored or feel trapped and divorce.

VVeeky · 2023-12-19T18:07:47+00:00

Wish I I didn’t work two jobs during my relationship with her. I don’t have a lot of memories or outside experience. The toll is the most on my body, I let myself go. If I could go back and redo it, I would have made her stop being a half ass SAHM and get a job. Luckily I’m still 25 and young. I have the world ahead of me now.

Mark_Foureh · 2023-12-19T18:00:00+00:00

a fucking men. i was literally in the exact same boat. everything you said, exactly the same except i can't prove she cheated. doesn't even matter. i'm so over that kind of narcissistic control. never again. Now i can work for my kids, and not her cuz i got equal custody. Shes forced to work for them if she wants to keep her half. Poetic justice at its finest.

SkeptiCynical · 2023-12-19T16:38:40+00:00

I'd like to clarify that a bit - don't work so hard for people who don't appreciate you.

My ex was a nasty, borderline ingrate who simply could not be satisfied. She didn't work. I worked 3 and sometimes 4 jobs on top of taking care of the home and half of the kids' transportation to and from preschool or babysitters. She did not cook for me; she would literally cook meals for herself and the 2 kids and leave the empty, dirty pots and pans for me to clean when I got home after 16 hour days.

But my new wife sings my praises to anyone who will listen. I work my ass off and take care of a majority of the household chores, but I work from home. She works her ass off but her job is outside the home. It's an arrangement that works for both of us.

Objective-Fan-5464 · 2023-12-19T16:33:45+00:00

Don't kill yourself for others, guys, not even for your kids

I was with you until you got to that part.

Title	Don't work so hard brothers
Author	Initial_Topic_4989
Upvotes	131
Comments	42
Date	December 19, 2023 4:08 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/18m5gnq/dont_work_so_hard_brothers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dont-work-so-hard-brothers.1241159 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241159

Comments