Glad there is some support here

TwoWheelsAndABeerGut · 2026-01-01T07:49:25+00:00

I got the “love vs in love” bullshit myself after discovering her infidelity. Let her go chase a feeling she can’t even describe and see how that plays out. You’ll be moved on thriving when she realizes that high school bullshit is as loose and flabby as her fucking junk. (Do I sound bitter?) hahahahah

Jimmy2Tim · 2025-12-27T12:09:13+00:00

Hang in there, man. They're going to be mean and blame everything on you to justify their behavior. She accused me of not cleaning enough, of not being attentive, etc., even though she's incapable of communicating and so on. Of course there was someone else going on, and it was only five months after the wedding. Your comments are a big help, and I'd be happy to help in any way I can. I've never reacted impulsively; living together for two months was one of the most difficult periods of my life. She would shave in the bathroom to go see the other guy while I was in the next room.

Suspicious_Dot6179 · 2025-12-27T10:40:48+00:00

U need to pretend this bitch is dead. She is not a good person

First_Alfalfa2805 · 2025-12-27T09:30:39+00:00

It's strange for a woman to break her marriage for anyone after having a newborn. I recommend getting a paternity test done on all 3 kids. Especially the baby.

Look,she didn't just decide to kill her marriage,she's obviously been talking to this man for months, if not a year or 2.

Get a lawyer asap.

the-don-carlo · 2025-12-27T06:57:00+00:00

Lmao at these whamen blowing up families so they can ride the cc. Good luck finding “your person” with three young kids. They really are children.
Don’t look back and go enjoy your life, being single is a gift!

upvotersfortruth · 2025-12-27T05:59:50+00:00

Your time to grieve will come later. Now you need to compartmentalize the best you can in order to get the best deal you can. Sole custody, child support flowing to you, etc. and do it before she has some fall out with her affair partner(s) and goes back to her last option - you. Don’t force her to parent or spend time with the kids. Give her as much freedom as you can, solidfy it with the judge and then think about what’s next. If things change down the road, so be it but it will be on your terms. This is the best thing you can do for yourself and your kids.

GurSpecialist9176 · 2025-12-27T05:44:38+00:00

I’m probably going to say the same thing alot of these guys are. But I was in a very similar place one year ago. My advice is to just work through understanding it’s over. Once she’s made that choice, she’s done. It sucks, you won’t sleep, you’ll want to find the perfect thing to say or do to change her mind. But you won’t.

But if I can offer any solace or advice. If you aren’t medicated for anxiety or depression look into it. I wasn’t prior, but it definitely helped. Also therapy. Don’t leave all of that in your own head. Talk to people about it. Do your best to remain amicable as long as she hasn’t done anything drastic. Try to get through divorce as quickly and cheaply and least painfully as possible. Then start working on rebuilding.

There will be ups and downs. You’ll get better and have setbacks. But eventually it’ll fade and you’ll wonder why you didn’t make a change sooner. You’ll feel better, you’ll move on.

Almost a year later, I’ve dated a bit, took my time to figure out what I do and don’t want, and now find myself in a relationship that seems a lot more fair than my marriage was.

It sucks, it’ll be hell to get through, but you can get through it and you’ll feel a lot better on the other side.

Good luck buddy.

Corpus1965 · 2025-12-27T01:52:44+00:00

Sob brother. Those of us starting this painful journey are here with you. I am saying good bye to 30 years. I will not drink a drop of alcohol. I walk away from her in the house when feeling down because we plan to remain in the house until the divorce and sale of the house. This is hard, but I visit this site to keep me going.

Remember, we did not quit. We are survivors. It hurts and is lonely, but the sooner the papers are signed the sooner healing and recovery begins. God has something better planned for us.

NotYours25 · 2025-12-27T00:45:18+00:00

I found this sub too late but honestly it saved my life. The men in this sub are brutally honest, empathetic and the guidance here is priceless. Lean in and post when you need something. You’re not alone.

thraxx171 · 2025-12-26T19:35:29+00:00

First off, thanks for being brave and sharing your story. This is a great starting point. A lot of us started from the same place, thinking the marriage was “fine,” while quietly being miserable and not talking about it. Finally when the platform is gone we are left falling. So credit where it’s due: saying it out loud matters. Acknowledge your pain.

This isn’t easy. Your mind will mess with you, and the grief hits fast because none of us were ever taught how to deal with this properly. There will be ups and downs as life shifts in ways you didn’t choose. Some days will feel heavy and slow; other days you’ll feel almost normal again. Both are part of it.

Learn to focus on your mindset and be kind to yourself. Time heals slowly. Accept where things actually are, not where you hoped they’d be. A lot of the pain comes from losing the idea of what you wanted, not what was really there.

Put your wellbeing first, there’s a lot to learn, and none of us have it figured out. Take it one day at a time. When you’re steady, you’ll be better for your kids too. And remember, nothing stays the same forever, good or bad. How you frame it makes a bigger difference than it feels like right now.

arcoast · 2025-12-26T19:17:14+00:00

In pretty much the same boat matey, except there's no ex-partner or future partner on the scene (I'm 100% confident of this)

The pain is indescribable and I came pretty close to just choosing to end it all a couple of weeks ago.

Now, I'm just getting through each day, but barely.

6StringFiend · 2025-12-26T18:31:20+00:00

My wife did the same thing except the talking to someone….that I know of. Which I’ve suspected for some time. It took months to finally not wake up in pure anxiety and depression. Realized I’m the only one that can make things better. I have no other family, except my two adult children who feel like they have to choose a side. It sucks. Never thought I’d be here but I’m finally moving a bit forward. Thanksgiving and Xmas are the first alone holidays I’ve had in my 50 years. It was tough. I hope things start to get better for you and there is a lot of support here.

dpi2024 · 2025-12-26T18:30:57+00:00

It doesn't help the situation that she is currently talking with her ex boyfriend.

This is not a side effect. This is the reason why you got the 'love you but not in love with you'. My guess is that it's way beyond just talking.

She will likely try to string you along for a while if she is not sure it will work out with her affair partner.

Get angry. There is nothing to save here, it has all been gone for a while already.

footbag22 · 2025-12-26T18:29:26+00:00

Man I can relate to this so well. The truth is it's not fair, she has betrayed you, kick her out of your life as best you can, you owe her nothing. If she comes back it will be because she changed her mind, not because you are actively trying to change her mind. Focus in yourself stop being nice to her, she will gladly take advantage of you if you do without ever planning to give you anything in return. I know first hand from the past 12 months of separation. Sorry man. I'm with you..it hurts and it sucks.

Dull-Stick2040 · 2025-12-26T18:28:33+00:00

If things between the two of you are still civil, maybe you could seize the moment for a fast, undisputed divorce? It hurts like hell but if it moves fast, you may he able to save yourself a fortune.

Cheb44 · 2025-12-26T18:16:36+00:00

Fuck her dude, as others have said, she’s done. Don’t do what I did and “work things out” only to have the same shit happen a few years later. Literally she better prepared herself to turn the kids against me. She’s cut me, my parents, anyone from my side of the family out of her and my kids life. Prolonged custody crap, but the damage is done. I’ve become resigned to the fact I may never see my kids again.

I could go on and on

footbag22 · 2025-12-26T18:15:52+00:00

Sorry to hear man. I went through the same thing after new year a year ago. It's been a year and I'm still struggling. Best thing to do is no contact, sadly that's very hard with children. Just live your life without her, anything you say or do will not bring her back. Focus on levelling up yourself, to help you find even better, or to get her back one day. But maybe once you level up you won't take her back if she only wanted you for your new better self and not your old self. You deserve better so go make it happen.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2025-12-26T18:07:11+00:00

I’m in the same situation, 3 kids (11,8,6) wife that ‘isn’t happy’ and nothing I could do. Something just switches in their brains. I’m 47 so you’ve got plenty more years ahead of you than I do. Take care of yourself, no shame in doing therapy, and keep busy. Best wishes ti you and all the other good hearted fathers out there who were man enough to try and save their marriages, only to be given up on.

CrazySanta7 · 2025-12-26T18:04:25+00:00

She has already found potential love. Ask her if you can go through her phone. Her 'look' will tell you everything you need to know. This is the script over and over again. She has been 'done' for months/years. Once women hit this stage it is OVER. Your mind hits 'fight' mode to try and 'show her' how much you love her. You search 'how to save a marriage', etc. This stuff will not work. Stop. The more you 'try', the more she loses respect. She is at least talking to another guy and you are in her way. This sounds harsh, but be okay with it as you won't stop it or get her back. Start becoming independent again and take care of those kids. Good luck man.

Par_then_Bar · 2025-12-26T17:52:21+00:00

She's not just talking with her ex. Sorry man. Go grey rock. Record everything. DO NOT move out of the house until you have at least a temporary agreement in place. Did I mention record everything? Women will accuse of false domestic violence to get an upper hand. This is a chess game now. Lawyer up and act accordingly. You're going to find in time she did you a huge favor. God speed brother.

Delicious-Curious · 2025-12-26T17:46:00+00:00

So sorry, man. Going through nearly the same (wife has t found someone new yet that I know of), but everything else - yes it all sucks. We’re left in the shambles of what once was a marriage and is now nothing more than a smoldering fire. It’s beyond heartbreaking. We give of ourselves to our wives - imperfectly - but they just up and decide welp, that’s enough. Hang in there man. This journey sucks.

Title	Glad there is some support here
Author	wife_pawg
Upvotes	50
Comments	33
Date	December 26, 2025 5:38 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1pwa09u/glad_there_is_some_support_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/glad-there-is-some-support-here.1569732 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569732

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