Nights Are Hard

Better-Pizza-6119 · 2025-09-27T15:38:55+00:00

I took up walking and dancing. I go to the park at 4 am so this forces me to sleep early avoiding night demons. I go to dance classes 3 times a week. Best thing Ive done.

BakedCheddar88 · 2025-09-27T11:42:26+00:00

It’s the silence that’s devastating. It took me awhile to get adjusted to it. Tbh now when I get lonely at night I just have my internal monologue out loud lol. I’m sure my neighbors think I’m crazy lol but it’s not like I’m having full blown conversations, just thinking out loud. It’s like self soothing almost

DropRemarkable168 · 2025-09-27T09:30:03+00:00

It's so difficult I can relate. I gave my life savings to my ex fiance. I'm so heartbroken and lonely cause she was my best friend and now she doesn't even check in on me.

Accurate-Pilot-5666 · 2025-09-27T06:48:44+00:00

My wife also waited patiently until she could have exactly what she wanted: a house to herself and plenty of money. She waited 26 years until there was $2M in the bank, a nice house, and then divorced me the minute our son moved out. I gave all of my free time to my family, until I didn't have one anymore. That was a wasted investment. I've taken that time back as an opportunity. I'm now spending my free time volunteering, learning new skills, creating additional income streams, and socializing. I set some ambitious goals for myself (learning, building businesses, and improving my fitness). I only go home to sleep.

No-Boysenberry3045 · 2025-09-27T04:24:43+00:00

Yes find hobbies or do something. In my case, i picked up a second job to kill time on the weekends. I sleep better after 12 to 13 hour days.

And it's still different nice to meet you here.

Fawn001 · 2025-09-27T04:02:32+00:00

I feel the same way. Went from a house of 5 (kids 5, 5 , 6) to a houee if one for half the time and its hard. Whats helped me is - online gaming with a few friends a couple times a wk. - wieghted blanket n luxurious bed sheets - journalling - etc. Early on, i did a lot of exercise during the day so i fell asleep exhausted as i wasnt ready to face the emotions. After 6mths, i was over the initial shock and with a gd support team (friends, family, therapist), i started to face the grief slowly. But a year post seperation and im still struggling and gate the nights but moved on from any self pity n just working through. If i can do it, im sure you can.

MissterHannya · 2025-09-27T02:43:19+00:00

Thank you for sharing because you’re definitely not alone. In the obvious sense that we can relate. Thank you for being vulnerable to this group. May you boogie to heal.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2025-09-27T01:37:52+00:00

Focus on your goals. For me it’s getting back to zero with the right person. It’s not easy and full of ups and downs but it’ll be worth it

BornBandicoot2515 · 2025-09-27T01:31:24+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this my friend. Venting is a-ok. Feel the feelings. It’s hard. I too get lonely. I too find the nights hard. You are not alone in this hard journey.

There really isn’t an answer. Your answer is your answer.

I myself know that I have no passions so it’s hard for me to “find something to look forward to”. I hope that I am able to change that.

But I do know we are surviving. It’s not easy but we are still here. And I am hopeful that one day it will get better. And we will know it is better bc we are going through hard times now and when the good times finally come they will be that much sweeter.

Keep pushing and take solace in the knowledge that you are not alone. You have made it through 100% of the hard days. You are strong. You are seen. You are loved. This too will pass with time my man. Keep your head up and your chest out. You are a man.

Is0prene · 2025-09-27T01:20:19+00:00

It is definitely something everyone faces. Just gives you an eerie unexplainable feeling having nobody else there next to you. Just make sure you don't make a mistake and ignore red flags to find a replacement.

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2025-09-27T00:25:23+00:00

Yea I need to get a good vent in every now and then.. it happens bro…. I suggest doing something on the weekend that gets you excited. Even if it’s playing a video game or something. Good luck!

brightfutureforsure · 2025-09-27T00:22:06+00:00

9 months into the separation/divorce process and know the feeling. Thankfully it does get better with time and from what I’ve read/heard that’s the only remedy. As time goes on you find your new routines, friendships, and hobbies that start to fill the time. My hardest part though is just having someone to tell about day and other routine things when I get home from work. Granted it often let to an argument with my spouse so at least I don’t have that anymore.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-09-26T23:51:49+00:00

It was hard for me to until she moved out. Separated, living in same house, different rooms was horrible. Once she was out it became easier. It's just time.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-09-26T23:48:12+00:00

Hard to see it now but in a few short years you will be loving just having you and your dog in the house.

Hang in there.

ciscokid12345 · 2025-09-26T23:20:25+00:00

The night is long and full of terrors…

I started making a gratitude list every night before bed. Ten things.

Today I’m grateful for: a roof over my head, the chocolate covered banana i had for dessert, that i have a job, that my friends and family love me, that i have kids to miss, etc.

Fweethinkew · 2025-09-26T23:17:46+00:00

30 year relationship, 28 married. Wife moved out with adult daughter on Valentine's Day this year. (Son at college) Daughter and I were buddies most of her life, until after move. I haven't even seen her since June (and only briefly) and not socially since she moved out. Despite no infidelity or abuse or anything like that, and my wife initiating, I guess my reward for subjugating my wants and needs since she was born, is to be discarded. At least son still cares about me, but is hours away. I have leftover pets, but I too sit in an apartment at night alone. Nobody visits. Friends have their families and lives and like others will say, I make people married uncomfortable. From 30 years of not being alone to complete isolation except work. Ocassional meets with friends, but not enough to be healthy. So, i do my workouts of 40 minutes bodyweight strength then 90 minutes cardio walks, after finishing work. Then shower, light dinner, then early to bed. Staying up alone is not good for us. Better to be unconscious. Mornings are healthier and easier. My recommendation. Not perfect, but has helped. I have treatment resistant Major Depressive Disorder, so I have to avoid the emotional dark during this transition because if it seizes me, it could end up badly.

Funeral_Candy · 2025-09-26T23:17:24+00:00

Nights are tough. Daytime it's easy to keep busy. It's hard not to get lost in thoughts and emotions at night. Reach out any time. I wish we all had more support - Lord knows I could use it as well!

Peace_and_Love40 · 2025-09-26T23:13:45+00:00

Well, I voluntarily agreed to separate so it wasn’t necessarily my wife’s idea. So that might be different. However I do still get lonely. And especially at night. I will wake up at 2 or 3am and immediately my mind wanders and sometimes I don’t even fall back to sleep. At least you have a dog though. I would imagine that would help a great deal.

Title	Nights Are Hard
Author	xolotl92
Upvotes	25
Comments	36
Date	September 26, 2025 11:05 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1nrfq41/nights_are_hard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/nights-are-hard.1562882 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562882

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