When my divorce started, I was fortunate in a couple of ways.

My best friend had already been through one. He knew the terrain. I didn’t have to explain why I was spiraling one day and flat the next. He just listened. No fixing. No judging. Just steady.

I also had a close female friend who had just gone through a breakup. Different situation, but similar grief. There was something grounding about talking to someone who was also in the middle of it.

But here’s what I didn’t expect.

Most people got tired of hearing about it.

Not in a cruel way. Just… fatigue.

At first, everyone checks in. “How are you holding up?” “Man, that sucks.” “You’ll get through it.” But after a few weeks, maybe a couple months, the world moves on. You’re still living it. They’re done hearing it.

I started to notice myself editing what I shared. Shortening the story. Changing the subject. Saying “I’m good” when I wasn’t.

And I get it. Divorce is repetitive. It’s the same fears, the same court updates, the same conversations about money and kids. But when you’re the one going through it, it’s not repetitive. It’s your life.

I think this is part of why so many men just shut down. Not because we don’t need support. But because we can feel when we’ve overstayed our welcome in someone’s emotional bandwidth.

I’m curious how others handled that.

Did you feel like people got tired of hearing about it?
Did you find one or two people who could actually stay in it with you?
Or did you eventually just stop talking about it altogether?

There’s something different about having someone who can sit in the mess without rushing you out of it.

I was lucky to have that in a couple of places. Without it, I’m not sure I would have navigated it the same way.