Why ?

henrysmyagent · 2022-09-28T06:40:08+00:00

Because if she cannot not make you out to be an asshole then she is the asshole who destroyed her kids stable 2-parent home for her own selfish reasons.

Women are NEVER the villains in their life story.

This is why it is so important for you to tell the truth about her to everyone! If you do not tell the truth about her, she will surely lie about you.

76ersPhan11 · 2022-09-28T12:31:50+00:00

I never realized how different men and women were until going through a divorce. She put me through absolute hell and I’m still trying to be a nice guy for my kids.

recce22 · 2022-09-28T05:37:38+00:00

Everything points to a “Personality Disorder,” Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder.

I never thought such mental disorders exist, but they do! Just look at Johnny Depp & Amber Heard. You can also look up Jodi Arias.

It’s very common for disordered people to enact a “smear campaign” against you. It’s the same song and dance over and over for them. Healthy adults don’t relish the opportunity to hurt others. It’s a big waste of time and energy.

MartyMcFly7 · 2022-09-28T18:57:20+00:00

It's like they say, you don't really know a woman until you divorce her.

After nearly 30 years together, my wife totally tried to make me out to be the bad guy. She tried to get me kicked out, tried to turn my kids against me; it was awful! It's crazy how you can know someone for so long and then suddenly you're their worst enemy. I don't know if I'll ever truly trust another woman again.

david10277 · 2022-09-28T12:34:13+00:00

Narcissist traits..

We all got bamboozled into there tricks. This is a sick disorder and when the mask falls off and you refuse to play game they get vindictive

When your a good spouse, husband, boyfriend, you try to provide any support needed to make things work.

Its unfortunate that educating people and making this disorder identifiable as a mandatory practice in divorce proceeding is not even looked at.

This society refuses to identify people with these disorders and provides a framework to help resolve issues.

It's truly pathetic..look at all the people across all the divorce forums. Highlighting how its abusive and most people who exit a narcissist relationship need counseling.

The victim needs consulting but the narcissist walks away to repeat the same thing to someone else with no accountability.

This system is broken as all the lawyers/mediators/ profit from off there toxic and self destructive behavior.

Ob1Cnobee · 2022-09-28T05:57:34+00:00

Sorry, your going through this shit like this makes marriage as unappealing as ever. It's frustrating how much one woman could ruin a man's life just out of spite or pettiness. My friend had his life turned upside down by his cheating ex-wife during the divorce he lost his job from allegations she made, his house, savings, dog, and nearly lost custody of his kids he sees them 4 times a month now. His situation is much better now but he has to pay alimony to her which is ridiculous.

sicrm · 2022-09-28T12:23:53+00:00

google the light switch effect and getting zero’d out.

Psychological-Net-62 · 2022-09-28T21:41:23+00:00

I am convinced they get a pamphlet on how to destroy lives... all women abide by the same game plan and we, being sain and rational, are stuck to deal with the worst.

My ex was 15 years into our marriage, was increasingly unhappy, and right before 40 started acting like a 20 year old... staying out until 430am and then banging on the door because she lost her fucking keys.

She comes in one day telling me that she got a lawyer and she could have me evicted. I got loud... she claimed she was scared (even after she sat and had dinner that night), called her dad to come get her and grabbed my kids out of bed at 830 in the evening... cops showed up on my door 15 minutes after she left. I was calm, she was trying to get a dv charge on me ... not gonna happen.

prepend · 2022-09-28T11:36:06+00:00

Sadly you will never have this answer or have closure. The closest I’ve found is “because this is why we are getting divorced.”

It’s a tough realization when I accepted that the universe doesn’t answer “why?” and I just don’t know. If you’re religious, God might tell you when you’re dead. If you’re not religious, you’ll never know.

Even if she told you why, you wouldn’t be able to believe it. Don’t focus on trying to answer, just work on what you will do.

akihonj · 2022-09-28T11:11:54+00:00

Truthfully she hates herself and lacks the ability of introspection so projects her hate and anger outwards.

Personality disorders are fairly common within women, they have a high narcissistic trait which leads to higher percentage of mental issues like personality disorders.

Does that absolve her of her responsibilities and her faults no because instead of expecting you to read her mind she could have at any time taken responsibility and got help as needed.

Jbr74 · 2022-09-28T15:48:47+00:00

"I wonder what motivated my exwife to act like such a cunt"

If you find out, please share your insight. I wasted so much time pondering this very question.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2022-09-28T18:02:32+00:00

“I wonder what motivated my ex wife …..” same as in the frog 🐸 and scorpion 🦂 fable . I suspect “it’s in their nature “.

LumpyResponse1693 · 2022-09-28T18:04:07+00:00

This thread has been so helpful.

My EX wife is a fucking mental therapist. I have gave her way, way to much ..... I only blame myself now.

AirSailer · 2022-09-30T02:02:10+00:00

It's evolutionary psychology; men evolved to handle conflict via physical violence/destruction, women via social aggression/violence. Over the hundreda of thousands of years men and women didn't interact like the do now, women battled each other via social conflict. Now we have interactions where women decimate men socially, which is how third-wave feminism survives, while it's illegal for men to use the traits they evolved to deal with threats.

recce22 · 2022-09-28T15:22:57+00:00

You need to learn that you can’t use a rational/logical argument with someone that is irrational. If she gets you to fight irrationally she feels like she wins. If you can’t stop from engaging in the irrational bullshit you need to hire an attorney that will tell you to STFU and let him/her handle it the right way. Sorry to be tough on you but you were part of this problem and couldn’t figure out how to keep it from escalating to a point where you don’t have any control…other than letting the court decide.

Title	Why ?
Author	Acceptable_Ask_7624
Upvotes	35
Comments	54
Date	September 28, 2022 5:19 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/xq3ozn/why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/why.1133623 https://theredarchive.com/post/1133623

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