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dntbfllikeidid
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice163 points164 points165 points 6 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
Also beware of those who call you "girlfriend" after 1-2 dates... one of the few guys I dated got ahead of himself and announced to his friends he had a GF. It didn't raise a big alarm because I was young, dumb, naive, and kinda liked him at that point, but even then I thought "dude you didn't even ask me, and it's been like, 2 dates, this is kinda weird"
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 109 points110 points111 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Hey, my situation was worse than yours. I was a mess after separating from my ex-husband, a master pickmeisha, and at 31 years old fell for love bombing and a guy who asked me to be his gf on the FIRST DATE (Yes, let’s all collectively face palm in shame right now) 🤦🏼♀️.
But now I found the light (FDS) and now I know better. Now single, deleted all dating apps and not interested in dating AT ALL for a good while. My life is a mess, I have a lot of things to take care of and have no time to waste with shitty men anymore. 💅🏻
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice33 points34 points35 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You got this, sis! Seriously given that we were all conditioned to be pickmes, there's no shame in looking back and falling for that crap, the important thing is that you're here now and learning to treasure yourself and on leveling up!
And yeah my situation was super easy, he lives in another country, and I've always been suspicious of anyone asking me out... so after that happened, I told him it wasn't working out. I'm lucky that no one was a psycho, and on top of that I'm not "chaseable" (gross as it sounds)
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thank you sis! And why would you not be “chaseable”? You are a QUEEN, adjust your crown and don’t you ever forget who you are! 🌹
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for your encouraging words :D! Hell yeah we're freaking queens here!
(Actually I might get a crown from Halloween store just so I can wear it regularly XDDD)
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not your fault, it’s seen as normal even in the movies, especially when y’all are grownups, but this subreddit really dives into the whole psychology and bullshit men do to women
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I watched 101 Dalmatians with my dogs recently. I didn't remember how crazy their relationship was. Cruella made more sense until she tried to skin the dogs.
[–]HowslapFDS Disciple16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh sis I've been there. Fell for a love bomb at 32 (I'm 33 now🤣) he asked me to be exclusive that week and then bam! Trauma bonded like a motherfuck3r 🤦🏿♀️ but thanks to FDS I dropped him like a bad habit and have been No Contact since 😎 But it doesnt matter where we've been sis, only where we're going 😉
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yaaas, love to see I’m not alone and we’re all on our way to a MUCH better life, now without those losers! ❤️👏🏻
[–]prizebeansproutFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, a narc got me this way as well. I'd been fucked around by avoidant men for so long, that his earnest and proudly declared commitment was a breath of fresh air.
What I totally ignored was the little nagging voice in my gut going "...but, you aren't even that attracted to him! and he's got trait x, y, and z that are glaring red flags!". Nup, naive little me shoved that inner voice into a box and closed the lid.
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Nup, naive little me shoved that inner voice into a box and closed the lid.
It's absolutely not your younger self's fault! I mean think about it, the avoidant men gave you such bad experiences that at that point the bar was in hell! It's like being in the desert and finding a puddle of dirt water, at that point it might feel refreshing, but it's also trash LOL
[–]prizebeansproutFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It's horrible to think about, isn't it? I was primed to be a narc victim by most men I had met up till then. And I mean, avoidants are bad enough as it is - but nothing scars you like a narc.
[–]noodlespicyFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Did you feel unsafe at any point of the relationship? I met a guy like this once and he was moving things so fast within days and I dropped him very early on, like within a week but I still feel like I'd be scared if I ended up running into him despite feeling rather safe when I was spending time with him. It's a weird feeling.
[–]prizebeansproutFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, he ended up blowing up at me for no reason during a "how's it going" phone convo, and the display of anger was so unbelievable I knew right then and there this guy was bad news. Pickmeisha me tried to get him to "comMuNiCaTe" first, which he of course stonewalled completely. I then blocked and deleted and that was that.
In hindsight I am SO lucky he showed his true colours at 2 months, and that my own narc father had made me extremely sensitive to loud voices and irrational tempers. I truly believe he was capable of of serious abuse, he showed a lot of little micro-aggressions and manipulation tactics I didn't pick up on until much later.
[–]noodlespicyFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, same here. When I dropped him, he called a few weeks later to see if I had changed my mind and then got pissed at me again. I blocked him after this conversation and never spoke to him again. I'm glad you did the same because there's no point in trying to further things with people like this. I don't understand who they think they're fooling by acting so sweet the first few days and then immediately switching it up, like at least give us time to get attached to you lol.
I can also relate to the having a narc father part, I cannot stand when people raise their voices over small things. You can only imagine what they'll be like during larger disagreements. Also don't beat yourself up for not noticing because at least you noticed before it got too late. Good luck to you and thank you for replying!
[–]SuccessfulShow5Pickmeisha™️10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The only thing worse than a man who NEVER commits is the one who wants to do it too fast. Went on ONE date with a guy Who never even properly Asked me out on a second date (just the usual “wyd” , last minute offers that I ignored ) and the next text was asking me if I wanted to be exclusive??? Dude I barely even know you and you haven’t asked me on a second date ! What gives ?! Actually now that I think of it he probably thought he was going to get sex quicker by asking for exclusivity so soon
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Chile, my ex told me he loved me on the first date, wanted to get married, wanted 5 kids, wanted me to be his girlfriend, he was moving so fast and it set multiple alarm bells in my head cause I was 19
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
WTF he was faster than the speed of light, Jesus Christ! You're just like, barely sitting down for the ride for a trial mode and that fool was all the way to your retirement and grandkids, LOL XD
[–]just_takin_the_dFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex-dude was talking about us going to Hawaii on holiday in 6 months time within the first 2 weeks of us dating. If only I'd found this sub earlier and learnt about future faking
[–]bringtwizzlersFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep, probably a dude with NPD and trust me, genuine narcs will ruin your life LOL. I was so naive... he asked me to be his girlfriend after one date/less than a week of meeting. Said I love you after two weeks and wouldn't let me do anything by mself. First discard after 2 months. Destroyed my life and cheated for a year. Then stalked me when I finally blocked him. Make it make sense.
[–]ChristianGirl93FDS Apprentice37 points38 points39 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Virtual handshake
[–]ForevaBubblesFDS Newbie72 points73 points74 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Definitely! I didn't realize this until I dated a guy for 5 months and assumed we were bf/gf. I mentioned it once to him and he said we weren't yet because he didn't have feelings for me still. I was pissed, I broke up with him. You should be able to tell at least after a couple months.
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 62 points63 points64 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
WTF, you were together for 5 months and he STILL didn’t have any feelings for you? What a player and a loserrr! 🤦🏼♀️
[–]RedditRabbittFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
My friend dated a guy for a year that wouldn’t lock her in as a gf and wouldn’t say I love you. She would say it to him when she got drunk but he’d never say it back. Like, what more do you need????
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yuck! Did she take that trash out once and for all?
[–]RedditRabbittFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No he dumped her and got a real job for another girl. 😬
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, the trash took itself out on its own then. Good riddance to your friend! 🤣👏🏻
[–]ForevaBubblesFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I really liked him other than that so it was a wake up call for sure. He wasn't playing the field, but he was also not interested in commiting to me either so I was done with it.
[–]RadicalCardiganCorgiFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He was defiantly using you as a back-up-chick in case the girl he actually liked wouldn't accept him and he'd "settle" because he doesn't wanna be alone or not fucked 😒what a dick. You reacted amazing tho.
[–]azngirl7689At-Risk Pick Me Youth60 points61 points62 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hold up are women out there prioritizing a man who isn’t even their actual man? Clown sh*t.
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 20 points21 points22 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh yeaah sis. More women than you’ll ever know!
[–]cannedboelynFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Unfortunately yes. This is why so many men think they are the prize
[–]Parking-ActFDS Disciple18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Period!
[–]StevieZizzou18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Petition to upgrade the wording in this post from girlfriend to WIFE??
[–]Sea_SoilFDS Apprentice38 points39 points40 points 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
and don't give boyfriend privileges to a man that's not your boyfriend.
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
YES!!! 👏🏻
[–]bringtwizzlersFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Slowly learning this! No more giving dudes my all.
[–]missliberiaFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I did not know this once upon a time and allowed a piece of shit to hurt me. He is married and still emails me on my birthday but fuck him.
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What a sack of shit. You need to block his email and any other access he still has to you. Otherwise he’s gonna keep thinking he still has an effect on you, sis!
[–]missliberiaFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He's blocked. Deleted and emails end up in spam unopened.
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice20 points21 points22 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Even if he does I’m still single until I’m married.
[–]cc_mmFDS Newbie65 points66 points67 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Remember that even if he asks you to be his girlfriend, you are single until you're married :)
[–]lvioletsnowFDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I'm single until I'm married.
Never forget.
[–]123psych123FDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“I am so single, I can meet another man at my wedding”
She’s great 😂
[–]idiayFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Best video ever.
[–]heythere360FDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wait this is iconic
[–]ninetyfiverskydiverFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love this!
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
In what way? I I wouldn’t be still dating around if I had a boyfriend though.
[–]123psych123FDS Newbie74 points75 points76 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
More mindset and the amount of emotion to give to the man. Basically have one foot out the door if need be because you aren’t legally tied together in the same way as marriage and he can drop you quickly.
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Aaah yes, most definitely agree with you! 👏🏻
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol I just commented this 👻
[–]hellojackieblueThrowaway Account14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And he BETTER ask you in person. None of this texting shit or beating around the bush. Get a MAN to flat out say, “Will you be my girlfriend?”
[–]perkytitssolidshitsFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. Have a rotation of men, syphon out the losers and go from there. Greta high value woman on YouTube talks lots about having a man funnel. Keeps your head clear and your able to spot the red flags quicker if you have options.
[–]KimpracticalFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Anyone else thinking maybe we should take as far as considering ourselves single until he puts a ring on it? 🙋♀️
If I’m someone’s gf I’m only dating that person though. What would you do that you do as a single person when you are exclusively dating someone?
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Personally I believe you're single until married 👀
[–]huna-lildahk1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup
[–]advicethrowawayyys1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re single until your married. God doesn’t recognize your relationship and neither does the government.
[–]JesusisKingisLordFDS STRATEGY COACH3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Come on
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[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice163 points164 points165 points (20 children) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 109 points110 points111 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice33 points34 points35 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HowslapFDS Disciple16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]prizebeansproutFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice17 points18 points19 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]prizebeansproutFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]noodlespicyFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]prizebeansproutFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]noodlespicyFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SuccessfulShow5Pickmeisha™️10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]just_takin_the_dFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bringtwizzlersFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ChristianGirl93FDS Apprentice37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ForevaBubblesFDS Newbie72 points73 points74 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 62 points63 points64 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedditRabbittFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 11 points12 points13 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedditRabbittFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ForevaBubblesFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RadicalCardiganCorgiFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]azngirl7689At-Risk Pick Me Youth60 points61 points62 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cannedboelynFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Parking-ActFDS Disciple18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StevieZizzou18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sea_SoilFDS Apprentice38 points39 points40 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bringtwizzlersFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]missliberiaFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]missliberiaFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cc_mmFDS Newbie65 points66 points67 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]lvioletsnowFDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]123psych123FDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]idiayFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]heythere360FDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ninetyfiverskydiverFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 26 points27 points28 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]123psych123FDS Newbie74 points75 points76 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hellojackieblueThrowaway Account14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]perkytitssolidshitsFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KimpracticalFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dntbfllikeididPickmeisha™️[S] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]huna-lildahk1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]advicethrowawayyys1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]JesusisKingisLordFDS STRATEGY COACH3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link