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StandPotential
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 124 points125 points126 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And the just no SO sub. For every 1 post written by a male with a toxic spouse, there’s literally 500 written by women trying to figure out how to get their man to treat them like a human being. 🧐
[–]Godschild2020FDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I went to the breakingmom sub. I left after reading the highlights of 3 posts in less than 3 minutes. Noped my ass right outta there. Too much drama, my husband this... my husband that...NO thank you.
[–]wrice05FDS Apprentice 117 points118 points119 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
As I've seen echoed elsewhere on this site, men are 100% depreciating assets. And I don't have time for depreciating assets in my portfolio. *dusts hands*
[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is both hilariously and depressingly accurate.
[–]gingerwabisabiFDS Apprentice 109 points110 points111 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
and meanwhile they do all these histrionics about how no man wants to get married, we just jedi mind trick them into proposing, ball and chain, etc etc etc. Ugh.
[–][deleted] 42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men should take accountability for once. I see this in my own brother who claimed both his girlfriends drove him into talking about engagement and marriage. At any point he could have said that he wasn't ready but sure, blame it on the girl.
[–]eatchickpeasFDS Newbie 227 points228 points229 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
i think nothing shows how men view women so perfectly like marriage in our patriarchal world. we have so much to lose when we marry men because they expect cooking/cleaning/sex/free child care/therapy/organising and now because of the economy they also want wives to contribute to the bills
men expect women to exist for them by default. we're SUPPOSED to want to do all these things out of unconditional love, we're SUPPOSED to do all these things because women exist for sex and making babies. women who dont give men sex, who cant make children are 'unwomen' and present no value to men. its why conservative men hate lesbians and childfree women
men think its a gift to give women this responsibility, that he will give her the gift of his surname, the gift of his acknowledgement and his time. the responsibility of doing all the housework but it will still be HIS castle, HIS home, HIS family, HIS domain. in theory men should have no problems with his wife wanting to keep her maiden name as long as she performs her 'motherly/wifely duties' yet 99.9% men expect women to take their last name. this all shows how men see women
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 125 points126 points127 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
We also become more likely to be tortured or murdered in our own home. Our children’s odds of being molested or abused increase.
Our risks are just so much astronomically higher when we pick a mate, statistically. It’s frustrating that guys act like they don’t realize that until it’s their daughter dating.
[–]WeirdRockbabyFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Some men don't even realize that then, they couldn't care less who their own daughter is dating. They fully identified as the predators and all women are just another meat sack.
[–]Throwawayrightaway28FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
See: Bill Cosby.
[–]Throwawayrightaway28FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Conservative men hate childfree women and lesbians because you can’t have a hierarchy of women if there’s no ‘default woman’. If all women don’t automatically rush to bear children and do all the labor for free with only love as a reward, you can’t possibly force them into competition for LVM. You can’t keep them and secure with the stick that another woman is doing it better than they are and the carrot that if they run faster and do all the work while paying half the bills that they will finally be the perfect woman. If any women opt out by choice and are seen living their happy lives, ALL women start to question just what the hell they’re doing and why they agreed to such a terrible deal.
[–]MadamLeFayFDS Newbie 249 points250 points251 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Actually, their life gets easier- they get their food bought & cooked, their house cleaned, their laundry done, their appointments made, reminded of their schedule and a warm, wet hole in their bed every night.
[–]IkwhatudobooFDS Newbie 126 points127 points128 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My dad used the say men get “ casa comida y culo” means - “home food and a** “ quite literally
[–]StandPotentialFDS Newbie[S] 47 points48 points49 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So right! And for the men who's lives don't change it's usually because their girlfriend or fiancé is already expected to do all these tasks without even the title!
[–]XASTA123FDS Newbie 159 points160 points161 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
this is so inaccurate! His life won’t remain largely unchained, HIS quality of life will increase dramatically because she’ll be doing all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry for him!
[–]wrice05FDS Apprentice 48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Unless she's been doing all that already as a live-in girlfriend
[–][deleted] 28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't forget his statistically much higher chance of promotions at work, especially if he has kids.
[–]Lazy-Tax3986FDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel like so many live-in girlfriends are already doing all this for over a decade with no title.
[–]miphasgracefulFDS Apprentice 76 points77 points78 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Been there, done this. Never again. ✌️
[–]gainsental 155 points156 points157 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
this sums it up perfectly. Marriage is an oppressive institution designed to extract free labor from women. I wonder if men laugh at as quietly for falling for this trap
[–]OrcristaFDS Newbie 36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm sure they must. It's such an obvious scam that women have been falling for, that they must be wetting themselves laughing at us at this point 😒
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
*largely improved.
[–]fiery_womanFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fucking OOF.
[–]witchingsauce 34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Tbf for the intellectual leftist it would just be 50/50 on all bills & regular sex fetish catering, which doesn’t change from gf responsibilities
[–]smittydoodleFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I want to have children, and my boyfriend is very respectful and kind toward me, so these kind of posts make me feel confused about what to do. Do I avoid getting married? Do I have children unwed? Do I just not have kids? I feel like I can’t win either way.
[–]StandPotentialFDS Newbie[S] 38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Getting married is only advisable after a ton of vetting, and if you do get married you should always be prepared to end up as a single parent anyway.
[–]smittydoodleFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yep, I’ve done all that and have no concerns with this one, but still I worry after reading marriage is a bad idea for women in general :)
[–]lostmilleniaFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Marriage is a bad idea for women in general. So be cautious!
[–]smittydoodleFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I understand but do want children with someone I love, so that's when I get confused about what to do!
[–]lostmilleniaFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Marriage can protect your kids.
Prenup and have a back up plan if he decides he wants to start acting sucky.
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hey! It's great that you have a nice boyfriend, and sorry that these posts seem like downers. They're sadly true for many women, though. I wrote a longer response on this post above, which you might want to check out on my profile. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't get married, but it does mean that you should protect yourself. You should make sure that your happiness and your future never depend on your being in a relationship with another person. After all, even if your boyfriend is the most perfect person ever, what if -- sorry -- he gets hit by a bus? I think that u/PhoenixRisingAsap's advice is the best.
I understand, thank you. I've spent time on the wrong guys, and I totally get why women on here feel discouraged. I have felt that way for a long time, and fortunately I've found someone who's proven he can be trusted. I just feel sad thinking that if I get married to him, I'm shooting myself in the foot or something. I'll check that out, thank you!
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good luck! Glad that you found someone great.
[–]PhoenixRisingAsapFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Get married if you are sure you can leave at any time. Be financially secure. Have your own money. Have your own friends and support system.
[–]smittydoodleFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup, I do. Thanks :)
[–]LunaAmoryFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Honest question: is this how you guys see marriage? Is there truth behind this?
[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You sound very young, which if you are I’m glad you’re here, because I learned this unfortunately too late to avoid this happening to me. This is very accurate in my personal experience and those of every woman I know (except one, but she has to have sex with a man she finds absolutely repulsive). Most men expect this, which is why most men are LVM or NVM. It’s rough out there.
[–]LunaAmoryFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm lucky I found myself a HVM then.
This is half truth. Full truth is that marriage makes the man’s life better. And the woman’s life worse.
I would say it depends on the situation and the character of the man. Some men use women. Some men want to serve them. I know my boyfriend strives to serve me the best he can.
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Are you very young? In case you are (or there are other young readers), here's a long and detailed answer:
I'm in my late 30s and am not married, but most of my friends are, and from what I've seen and heard, yes. Only the very best marriages aren't like that.
I have multiple female friends with kids whose husbands refuse to provide any care for their own children, or do any work of any kind outside their 9-to-5 jobs. I've visited their houses, and after a sullen "hi," the husband has spent the entire visit in the master bedroom, playing video games, while my friend and I have looked after their three kids, cooked, and cleaned. It's a g--d--- embarrassment. Once, I even asked one of these husbands to explain why it was that his wife worked longer hours at her job than he did at his, while also providing most of the childcare and doing all the housework. His response, "Haha I dunno, somehow it just happened." [Spoiler: He cheated on her, they divorced, and she realized that being a single mom was less work than having a deadbeat husband.]
In some of these marriages, the husband is also verbally abusive towards the wife, tearing down her self-esteem so that she doesn't feel confident enough to leave. And of course, many of these women had given up their careers to be a stay-at-home wife and mom, which caused permanent damage to their earning potential and also made it harder for them to leave.
So yeah. Not all marriages are like this, for sure, but a lot of them are, and every single one of these men seemed like "nice guys" at the beginning. That's why you should never rush into anything. Never project onto a guy the good qualities that you wish he had, that you think he might have, or that he claims to have.
I do have a small number of female friends with good marriages to good men, i.e., what this sub would call "HVM." Several of them have admitted to me that it's truly dumb luck that they ended up with a good husband because they didn't know what they were doing or what to look for in a partner when they got married.
That's why I think the best advice is just to focus on building an outstanding life as a single person. If you happen to eventually meet a HVM who proves himself over time to be an excellent partner and an asset to your life, then great! But if not, it's no loss.
[–]smittydoodleFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I definitely have friends whose husbands are zero help at home, and I think instead of just saying no to marriage, women need to be more careful before accepting a proposal. There are some decent guys out there, and it's too bad they're so rare nowadays. Luckily, I'm with a man who goes above and beyond cleaning, caring for his mom and sisters, and giving more to me than I always give back. I'm so thankful because I've had a number of shitty, selfish boyfriends who did nothing but watch Nascar with their hands down their pants.
Luckily, I'm with a man who goes above and beyond cleaning, caring for his mom and sisters, and giving more to me than I always give back.
That's great!
[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never project onto a guy the good qualities that you wish he had, that you think he might have, or that he claims to have.
👏 Vet vet vet. 👏
[–]RussianCat26FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I giggled at this in the best way 🤣🤣🤣
[–]DifferentBar6FDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Single women live longer!
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 124 points125 points126 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Godschild2020FDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wrice05FDS Apprentice 117 points118 points119 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gingerwabisabiFDS Apprentice 109 points110 points111 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 42 points43 points44 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]eatchickpeasFDS Newbie 227 points228 points229 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 125 points126 points127 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]WeirdRockbabyFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Throwawayrightaway28FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Throwawayrightaway28FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MadamLeFayFDS Newbie 249 points250 points251 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]IkwhatudobooFDS Newbie 126 points127 points128 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StandPotentialFDS Newbie[S] 47 points48 points49 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]XASTA123FDS Newbie 159 points160 points161 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]wrice05FDS Apprentice 48 points49 points50 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 28 points29 points30 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lazy-Tax3986FDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]miphasgracefulFDS Apprentice 76 points77 points78 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gainsental 155 points156 points157 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]OrcristaFDS Newbie 36 points37 points38 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fiery_womanFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]witchingsauce 34 points35 points36 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]smittydoodleFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]StandPotentialFDS Newbie[S] 38 points39 points40 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]smittydoodleFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]lostmilleniaFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]smittydoodleFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lostmilleniaFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]smittydoodleFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PhoenixRisingAsapFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]smittydoodleFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LunaAmoryFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 55 points56 points57 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LunaAmoryFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PhoenixRisingAsapFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LunaAmoryFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]smittydoodleFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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