One of the things that lands women in trouble when it comes to men is projecting their own moral compass and attitudes onto them, which is an extension of giving men the benefit of the doubt when it’s not deserved. Women will say things like:
I know he’s sorry.
I can tell he’s changed.
He was crying, so I know he is sincere.
He would never do that to me.
When what they really mean is:
I know he’s sorry, because if I did that to him I would be sorry.
He’s crying so he must be sincere, because I would only cry if I was truly sorry.
I can tell he’s changed because I would be willing to change for someone I loved if it made their life better.
He would never do that to me because I would never do that to him.
Doing this demonstrates ignorance of how differently men and women are socialised to behave. Women are conditioned to be kind, caring, and excessively understanding. Men are conditioned to put themselves first and worry about everyone else later (if at all). It also means that men with bad intentions or who are insincere will keep getting away with shady behaviour because the woman will keep constructing apologies and excuses on his behalf. Words are ultimately just words. People can cry on cue. The only way to know if someone is truly sorry is to see and witness changed behaviour for a long period of time.
You will do better in your dealings when you stop projecting your ways of thinking and behaving onto men, and when you stop taking what men say at face value. Projecting what YOU would do in a certain situation onto a man is a waste of time because you are not dating a carbon copy of yourself. Most men in the dating world are low value, so you’ll be doing the equivalent of thinking a pig has the ability to act and think like a prince which is ludicrous.
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