Gaslighting is an absolute thing

Gypsymarz · 2020-03-30T17:08:20+00:00

“YoUrE sO inSeCuRe. YoU hAVE isSues. YoURE aN AnGrY pErSoN. YoU nEeD to Be MoRE cOnfIDENt.” This is a few of the many gaslight lines my ex loved to tell me. I was angry yet he was punching holes in the wall and cornering me in our closet yelling in my face. I believed for years I was INSECURE and began to think i was an angry person. I needed to relax and be the cool, chill gf! Guess what?! He was a liar and a cheat! Good riddance 🙏🏼

wish_i_wasntavampire · 2020-03-30T18:59:22+00:00

With my ex, I thought I had depression, I though I was bipolar, I thought I had bad anxiety and that I'm a manipulative narcissist.

Funny how decluttering him out of my life practically cured my laundry list of disorders. It's almost as if ...HE has been the one driving me crazy 🤔

shrno · 2020-03-30T20:51:32+00:00

This is a BIG issue. I had my first period at 12 and spent the next couple of years with extreme pain, irregular bleeding, fatigue, passing out, etc... So my mom decided to take me to a gynecologist at 16. I told the doctor all my symptoms and this "professional" told me to stop whining!!! He told me that other 16 year olds can take it so why couldn't I? I was sobbing and didn't go to another gynecologist in years. I kept feeling so horrible, I was having depression and panic attacks so at 19 I decided to try again. I made an appointment with a WOMAN this time, she made me take every type of test she could think of, including a sonogram. Turns out I have PCOS, endometriosis and Hashimoto's disease.

alli4202 · 2020-03-30T17:51:41+00:00

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sunnyxbaby · 2020-03-30T19:04:33+00:00

TRUTH. My ex would cheat on me and say I should have just trusted him and he wouldn't cheat on me. It was my fault for continuing to distrust him, because it made him want to cheat more. And that I was ridiculous for getting upset when I could fix it by just trusting him. What in the fuck kind of logic is that?

thinkpinkhair · 2020-03-30T16:23:39+00:00

I had a guy gaslight me and I put him out like he was late on a cable bill

PM_ME_A_STRAYCAT · 2020-03-30T23:26:30+00:00

This, except calling women “crazy.”

If a man ever tells you his ex was “crazy”, ask yourself what he did to her to make her that way.

audio-enabled · 2020-03-30T18:59:12+00:00

If I had a dollar for each time a guy told me to “calm down”, I could retire at 23. I’m over men confusing my passion for life for “hysterics”.

WhoAreYouWhoAreWe · 2020-03-30T17:52:27+00:00

I spoke about this in a group chat I am in with my friends, a gc that also happens to be mostly boys, and guess who they attempted to silence ridicule and invalidate because they didn’t like what I was saying 🤗

hoIds_up_spork · 2020-03-30T17:15:30+00:00

this picture is soooo cute!! BGM ✨💞

cherrybombfield · 2020-03-30T20:48:14+00:00

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meguil · 2020-03-30T21:19:55+00:00

Hi.. I want to know if this is gaslighting: So we were sleeping and suddenly, there was a very quick but strong earthquake. I woke up and said, earthquake! He was lying beside me and he replied, i think it's just the wind. I said, no it's an earthquake. He insisted he thinks it's just the wind. So i let it go. The next day, people were talking about the earthquake so I told him, see? I told you it was an earthquake! And he said, yeah i said it's an earthquake. I said, no? You said it's just the wind. He said, no? You said it's just the wind.. But I'm pretty sure I said it's an earthquake. What do you call it?

2020-03-30T22:32:09+00:00

'You're being sensitive.'

Yeah I'm sensitive. Now sling your hook. 🙄

cherrybombfield · 2020-03-30T21:00:17+00:00

I have always been told my standards are too high and I expect too much. I expect everyone to be like me in how they treat people and that it was unrealistic bc everyone else wasn't as "perfect" as I was.

It was like I was a bad person bc I was a good person. SMH Efff that!

2020-03-30T18:21:30+00:00

Lol this is exactly what I tell my husband and my mom, don’t tell me to calm down. I was calm the first 10 times I said it. And you ignored me.

Both are getting way better at listening now that I demand it. Funny how that happens 🤔

AngelicBastard · 2020-03-31T00:21:47+00:00

The real scary thing is .... a very high percentage of people aren't even aware it's being done to them.

Here's some signs to look out for.

HighHopesLove · 2020-03-31T11:20:07+00:00

"You're ___ years old. Stop behaving like a child." In response to being upset, is my personal favorite. Because only children have feelings and emotions, not just, y'know, human beings..

"You're always sad and in pain", in response to my crying. I never used to frequently cry until I'd met him.

I'd question my sanity, mental health, etc. When I voiced some of these things, it became something he could use against me in every argument. Weird how without him, those issues don't seem to exist.

enharmonia · 2020-03-30T23:26:28+00:00

My ex would tell me I was too judgemental and too critical because I got upset when he drank too much (which is when he would get really nasty). He'd corner me in the kitchen and yell at me for being "such a source of stress" in his life that he had no choice but to get drunk every night. He would then start lying about the drinking itself and straight up deny it...like I would come home to him visibly drunk and empty bottles everywhere and he would insist that he hadn't had anything and that I was trying to create drama. Textbook gaslighting..

1BoyMom · 2020-03-30T22:29:45+00:00

I feel this also includes feelings too.

Even though needs are most important and feeling can change quickly, gaslighting them right now is not appropriate. Maybe after some time we can laugh about, but in the moment, feeling are just as important.

Title	Gaslighting is an absolute thing
Author	ScarletFate779
Upvotes	1831
Comments	68
Date	March 30, 2020 3:30 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/frsvrq/gaslighting_is_an_absolute_thing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/gaslighting-is-an-absolute-thing.679307 https://theredarchive.com/post/679307

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