I’ve been dating a lovely man for the last couple months, and I know better than to call him an HVM (don’t come at me), but I’ve been seeing only green flags while I vet so far. One of my love languages is gifts, and when he visits, he always brings something nice and relevant to me. Maybe it’s a nice houseplant for my collection, a local jam that he tried and thought I’d like, or something he baked just for me.

The last guy I dated showered me with gifts, but they were mostly of a sexual nature. Trashy red lingerie that I hated (and didnt fit), bubble bath (i admit, this was a nice one, but also had sexual connotations attached), an outfit he admired on an actress of the same ethnic background (included clunky lucite heels), an anal sex toy (not something I’m into), a very very short skirt, or possibly a top? No way it could have been a skirt and covered relevant bits. and worst of all… a pair of pug nipple tassles. None of those were actually gifts for me. They were all things that made me question if he actually knew me at all. So glad I dumped him to make room in my life for someone better.