I am a year and a bit free from a NVM 🥳(thanks to you Queens), and in the intervening time, I have lived abroad for 6 months🌍, saved up a deposit for a house🤑, and completely and utterly healed from the physical and emotional abuse I endured for 3 years🛀.

In a word, I am feeling GOOD, better than I thought I could, in the aftermath of the breakup.

SO, when my phone lit up with a call from the NVMs mother, I calmly blocked and deleted without answering (I thought I'd systematically blocked all mutual friends and him, but she slipped the net 🐟). I didn't really think anything of it, apart from a little chuckle.👸🏾

Yesterday, I had a call from a local number, it was during working hours so I assumed it was business.

My SURPRISE, when I heard a woman's voice say, "can I speak to NVX?" 😬 I thought, oh no, oh christ, it's some poor girl he's roped in, another victim, another skull for the pickme skull throne.😥

But my FDS training kicked in, and I heard myself say, "I don't know a [name], who am I speaking with?"

Turns out it was a doctors surgery👩‍⚕️, and they were calling to tell the NVX that his VACCINE WAS READY. Which means this absolute WEIRDO had, one year on from the breakup, when his mom failed to make contact, come up with this absolute BIRDBRAIN plan to put my number down, so that a doctor would call me and remind me he exists. Vaccine registration only opened up here recently in the last few weeks. 😂😂 Cue Regina George - "WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH ME.GIF"

The AUDACITY.

Well I suppose that's what you do when you and all your contacts have been blocked on all platforms. You reach out to a doctor and WASTE their time and also miss out on your own vaccine.🤦🏾‍♀️💁🏽‍♀️

Not that covid would wanna go anywhere near his hairy crusty ass. That's the only thing about him I remember clearly 🤮🤧

My friends said that he probably thought it would make me reach out to him as I wouldn't want him to miss his vaccination appointment. Literally the shittest attempt at 3d chess I've ever seen. The boy got SLOPPY 👀

Sorry not sorry 💀😂❤️

The level-up is real, shout-out to all the ladies going through tough times right now, just know it gets better, and they inevitably come crawling back. I can't wait to be so over it that I don't even need to gloat, but for now... Imma enjoy it, just a lil bit.

Emojis added throughout to enrage any scrotey-mcscrotes lurking behind the scenes. 🥰😘