How does a HVW deal with catcalling?

InterestingMango0 · 2020-10-18T20:05:05+00:00

When men shout at you or whistle at you ignore them and don't even look at them. They want a reaction don't give it to them. You are not a dog that jumps when they say jump.

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2020-10-18T21:02:25+00:00

Ignore them. There are few things you can do to a LVM that are as painful as silently reminding him he might as well be invisible in our society.
Their immediate reaction may not say it, but look at what men cry about online the most. It's not male homelessness, male victims of domestic violence or abuse or rape, or suicide rates. Their most frequent complaint is about being ignored or rejected by women; that's how easy the average man has it - and that's how easy it is for you to hurt his feelings.

slythergin23 · 2020-10-18T20:07:43+00:00

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DrildoBagurren · 2020-10-18T20:52:52+00:00

I have flipped them off and once called them "pedophiles" when I was in a school uniform. But tbh, only the latter incident got them to look sheepish. I would do that again if I ever saw another little girl getting harassed just in the hopes that they may feel a twinge of embarrassment. I wouldn't ever flip them off or get pissed off again because the rest of the time, they just laughed or called me a slut, spat on me. Once I got followed by three guys in a foreign city. I had to actually shout for help when I broke into a run and two of them caught me. They may have still done that had I ignored them, but never underestimate the danger of denting a man's ego. Ignoring them is a safer (albeit far from 100%) choice. They don't get the satisfaction of any rise from you. Don't forget that catcalling is about power and some people even enjoy the power of provoking someone to be upset when there is nothing they can do about it.

hanjaporfavor · 2020-10-18T23:18:36+00:00

Bark. I always bark and they look confused af. It saves me from having to actually speak and it makes me instill fear in them because then I look bat shit crazy.

katthekanuck · 2020-10-18T22:30:55+00:00

This wouldn’t work in every situation and it’s not elegant by any means....but I believe one of the best ways to keep anyone from approaching and interacting with you in public is to act as crazy and unhinged as possible. Stop dead in your tracks, stare at them with the big crazy eyes (I’m tall and have very outset eyes which helps with the crazy look) and start shrieking as loudly and hideously as possible. Wave your arms/legs erratically if you feel like it. It immediately flips the dynamic and now the original harasser is the one receiving very unwanted, unpredictable attention. I thankfully haven’t had to try it out in quite a while but I’ve had friends and former classmates freak out like this and the harassers bailed out of there almost immediately lol.

That being said, I’m also white and in an area with extremely strict weapon laws, and I could see this not ending well in extremely racist and/or gun-toting communities (and you may just not be comfortable making so much noise) so...like I said, not really a complete solution :(

Novemberinthechair · 2020-10-18T23:48:33+00:00

Ignore. Or take a picture of them with your phone and send it to someone. I did it once, the guy saw me take a picture of his license plate. He tore out of that parking lot.

straighthairgreece · 2020-10-18T20:28:07+00:00

Ignore. They want a reaction. Don't look at them. Don't acknowledge them in any way. Ignore them!

posprov · 2020-10-18T20:31:14+00:00

Ignore them and continue walking as if nothing happened.

RiasXgremoryX · 2020-10-18T20:31:28+00:00

I just ignore it. I keep walking and I don't even acknowledge or look at them. Some sick men like to provoke women on purpose just to get a reaction and I decided I'm not going to give them the privilege of my time to respond.

royaldetour · 2020-10-18T23:36:36+00:00

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CassieGreen85 · 2020-10-19T02:40:54+00:00

I believe the best thing is to ignore. For them, ANY attention or reaction from you, a woman, is gonna please them, even negative reactions.

Also, this is something that I realized: When I flip people off, or yell at them, or react and physically express my negativity to them (even if they're the ones at fault), it leaves me with lingering negative energy for far longer than if I didn't react, ignored, took a deep breath, and just silently though "wow, what a dick" and moved on. It's a lot easier to forget the incident and not think back with bitterness and regret because I gave them exactly what they were hoping for, they successfully forced their negative energy on me and they made me to act against my will.

It's not about taking it silently, or just enduring, etc. I'm talking about choosing to have peace of mind and not have my day or memories ruined by an asshole. Choose and pick your battles.

How I remember my feelings during the times I got yelled/catcalled at and I didn't react, is very different from when I remember how shitty I felt when I did react, and how it ruined my mood for a lot longer.

PeachPitiless · 2020-10-18T23:26:15+00:00

Once I stunned a group of teenagers who catcalled me by responding, "That is very rude." They got silent and seemed embarrassed. But I don't think that would work on older men...

tallwomenneedlovetoo · 2020-10-18T20:38:49+00:00

It depends on the situation. If there is a group of men and I’m on my own, I ignore them because they’re just seeking attention and I have less than zero to spare them. Plus safety concerns.

If it’s an individual man and I’m somewhere populated, I might roll my eyes or visibly cringe so he knows I’m disgusted by his looks and/or actions and they usually won’t make eye contact after that.

I live in a somewhat cosmopolitan area and have had gay men yell out things like “You’ve got a great ass, bitch!” and 100% of the time, I will whip around and correct them on using misogynistic and sexual language towards women and remind them that men cannot speak to women that way, regardless of sexual orientation. But I put in that effort to educate because I know that, based on black women and gay man culture, they think it’s a compliment because they aren’t sexually interested in me and the media tells gay men they are able to speak to us (black women) like that whereas straight men know that saying shit like that is disgusting and disturbs us.

vitryolic · 2020-10-19T01:15:55+00:00

I know it’s hard to ignore them, because you want to stand up for yourself. I pretend they were talking about someone else so it doesn’t make me fume about it later.

Once some guys sped past and shouted “nice tits!” Then had to stop at the traffic light I was walking towards. I laughed at them and said “I know!”. They weren’t expecting that reaction and shut up. If they say racist abuse, it’s taken more seriously by police than usual harassment. I have previously taken someone’s number plate and called the police, but it is dependant on a witness to the abuse/evidence to progress it further. It did make me feel less of a victim for reporting it though.

These are the kind of men who can’t get positive female attention, so have to resort to harassing them. So just remind yourself they are pathetic scrotes and you’re a HVW. Your safety comes before rising to their childish provocation.

Consciousception · 2020-10-18T21:12:50+00:00

I had an incident like this today, also at a crosswalk. A man in a car was yelling things at me and making childish womanly impersonations. I ignored him completely (he wasn't even in my line of view so I didn't even have to turn away from him) and went on my way. Every day I grow stronger knowing that those little things will soon become white noise.

Eli1984 · 2020-10-19T07:53:27+00:00

I have to ask ladies.... Is this something thats common in the US? I'm from Austria (middle Europe) and never in my 36 years did someone on the streets call after me or make a comment when driving or walking past me... Never have I witnessed this behavior on the streets to other women... It sounds disgusting and primitive....🙁

2020-10-18T22:24:04+00:00

It has happened to me, maybe a total of three times in my life.

I've never been called a whore, except by my ex (while he was cheating).

These guys would slow their cars way down, and stare very obviously at me. I stick my hand up, not even in a full wave, but more like "stop," or "I acknowledge what you just did." Then they moved on.

Obviously not the same as being called a whore, or being told to go home...

I'm sorry you had to deal with that - not that it heals you completely to hear it.

blerty567 · 2020-10-18T22:15:06+00:00

Ignore them.

Waste-Win · 2020-10-19T19:06:45+00:00

Ignore them, They call you a whore because You are not giving them attention and that's the only thing they want, You might feel frustrated because you don't get to tell them what they deserve but believe me, nothing hurt their ego worse than being ignored.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-10-18T20:26:26+00:00

I usually would flip them off

balladwilds · 2020-10-19T09:23:38+00:00

im so sorry you had to go through this. they're disgusting. just try to ignore them and walk away

IsabellaGalavant · 2020-10-19T23:57:46+00:00

I just ignore it. Works every time. Act like you didn't hear them and they'll give up.

I know it's hard in the moment because it can be scary sometimes. But they want you to be scared. They want to see you act scared. Don't give them the satisfaction.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2020-10-23T06:29:44+00:00

I would pretend to be deaf.

prestigeworldwideee · 2020-10-18T20:07:01+00:00

Middle finger and silent mouth "fuck you"

Title	How does a HVW deal with catcalling?
Author	Caedere01
Upvotes	131
Comments	49
Date	October 18, 2020 7:54 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jdn0v9/how_does_a_hvw_deal_with_catcalling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-does-a-hvw-deal-with-catcalling.320461 https://theredarchive.com/post/320461

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