Seriously how much time and money do you spend when getting ready and going on a date? When you think about it through a financial and time lens you can really see when more truth about the importance of vetting.
-cost of your outfit, shoes, bag, etc -time spent getting ready (showered, dressed up, oral hygiene again before the date. I always brush extra and mouthwash before a date)
-additional time if you do your makeup, nails, hair
-additional time and money if you shave, apply perfume, or lotion
-time and gas money/uber money there and back
-time you spend at the date itself
-time you spent before the date vetting the dude
Even when I started lurking FDS and lightly applying principles, between vetting, commuting, and doing the actual date, plus getting ready, this was always at LEAST SIX hours (2 hours worth of matching, reading his profile, messaging, doing about 30 min of the phone, me creeping on his social media, looking up the restaurant and directions) add another 1.5 hours to get dressed, full hair, makeup etc, another 30 min to shower/shave/paint nails, and then the actual date itself usually at least 2 hours between driving there and back plus the time spent on the date itself.
Most retail/fast food jobs pay $10 an hour (sometimes a little more) now so by that logic that's $60 worth of time AT LEAST that you spent on a man. If you have a better paying job, or even use that time to list stuff and make some eBay sales 6 hours worth of working at that could probably bring you in around $200 worth of profit of not more. What if your job calls you last minute asking you to pickup some extra hours? That 6 hours worth of time or more you invested into that first date could have been maybe an extra $125 if you picked up the shift instead.
Dating is a negative exchange as it costs a woman her valuable time and money, even when you look at it as comparing to what you'd make at a summer job for 10 an hour. Using your gas money, makeup, and if you buy an outfit, its all expensive. I know some people look at the "cost per wear" of an outfit too. Makeup can be especially expensive.
Is the dinner he is taking you on at least worth the $60 that you could have theoretically made at a fast food job? I doubt it. What about how much your actual job would have paid you, or lets say if you used that 6 hours to list and package up ebay sales? I doubt it.
Looking at it like this feels cold and calculated to newbies, but it's the truth! If anything, I underestimated it as far as the dollar values and 6 hours worth of time, many people spend more than 6 hours getting to know someone plus the time of the first date. And many people's time is worth a lot more than just $10/hr.
also PLEASE LOOKUP THE RESTAURANT before meeting him there. I know it takes time to vet the restaurant too, but you NEED to be doing this prior to meeting up.
Is a dumpy bar or applebees level restaurant actually WORTH that 6 hours or more worth of your time, money, and energy? Even mcdonalds would have payed you around $60 for that time.
Its also important to not look cheap on the date. You should feel comfortable ordering a glass of wine, upgrade a side, and please don't be ordering the cheapest thing on the menu. Ie you don't have to order a cheap salad or cheap cheeseburger if you're sitting down at a seafood place for fear of the cost. Let yourself indulge. Ordeding an app on a first date is a fun way to break the ice more as well as add extra time to the date to chat more. Point is, if he asked you out and seeing how your own time is valuable, don't be afraid to indulge and actually order stuff. I would recommend ordering something extra, even if its just a side that is an upcharge, or getting an appetizer, so you can see how he reacts especially if he is stingy or complains.
When you see your 6 hours as being worth $60 at bare minimum, it changes your mindset even more on how much the first date should be worth.
Edit: misplaced a word
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