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[–]McccyFDS Apprentice451 points452 points453 points 5 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
This. My aunt has twins (one boy and one girl) and they don't even let the girl talk loudly, while her brother is screaming his lungs off and runs naked most of time, they are 4.
[–]CloacaDiddlerFDS Disciple396 points397 points398 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I bet the girl gets all these compliments on how polite and mature she is and the boy about how smart and energetic he is, thus reinforcing the behaviors into them from very young ages and making it hard for either to change as they grow up because their self-worth has always been tied to Auntie Susan and everyone else telling them what a good quiet girl and big strong boy they are. Vomit.
[–]McccyFDS Apprentice226 points227 points228 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Actually that's exactly what's happening..
[–]CloacaDiddlerFDS Disciple272 points273 points274 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Happened to me too. My brothers got credit for just existing and I was complimented on being forced to act like a cloistered nun. I wasn’t allowed to eat popcorn in the living room because my brothers spilled it everywhere, although I was a careful neat freak. I got in just as much trouble as my brother because I was physically present when he smashed a lightbulb with a toy sword. I would be defending myself from his bullying and hear my dad shout “BOTH OF YOU cut it out”. I was inside working, doing laundry, dishes, and cleaning everyday while my older brothers played outside. I was shushed for ever speaking when adults were while my brother monopolized conversations about insensitive topics like politics and “women suck” and they all smiled at his intelligence even though he was interrupting them. I had to work hard to be considered subpar, and I think that’s how the world is for adult women as well. Since birth, we’ve never enough, never credited, always pushed to be extraordinarily better, while watching our male peers flail and fall into high status usually while propped up with more competent women. My mom would clean my older brother’s room and yell at me for not having mine immaculate. Ever since I can remember I have had to act and behavior far superior to any male around me, no matter their age. And then they expect us to be told we’re actually inferior, stupid, weak, subhuman?? My brother literally stole the car to drive to see a girl an hour away in the middle of the night and got no reprimand. I was 18 and because I was talking to a guy in highschool my mom took it upon herself to stalk his Facebook and then get into my accounts to read our messages and eventually smashed my phone and said I wasn’t allowed to date...until that point where magically I’m supposed to give her grandchildren but somehow still be pure as the Virgin Mary.
[–]Ghost_namesakeFDS Newbie115 points116 points117 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My mother was extremely religious and a bully about it. I could have written some of this, including the part about reading the messages. What a terrible invasion of privacy. Still makes me angry. I'm sorry you had to deal with this.
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My mother was very Catholic and instilled in my sister and I that sex was filthy and gross and so we were both virgins into our early 20s. I tell my own daughters about sex and encourage them to wait, but I don’t ever make them feel like it’s dirty. I just want them to have it with someone who cares about them. That seems impossible these days with all the dysfunction in this pornsick world. I feel sorry for these younger generations, it’s heartbreaking especially for the girls.
[–]DrildoBagurrenFDS Apprentice92 points93 points94 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It sounds like me with my cousin who is 6 days older than I am. He was allowed to hit me, pull my hair, steal my stuff and say hateful things to me, but Lawd have mercy if I ever bit back at him or called him out. He pretty much got to do whatever he wanted and my aunt and grandma cherished him and showered him with compliments and excuses for his behaviour. On the other hand, I got slapped, screamed at and called "a snotty little girl" or a "ragamuffin" all the time by those two. Toxic , toxic PickMes , I've realised. They also are the type of people to love every down and out man who wanders the street while bitching about any woman with a hair out of place - or who is too perfect, in fact. Any low-class and degenerate guy is a winner in their books and every woman of any class or background will be held to impossible standards - ones which these women don't even themselves fulfill completely.
Lol at those "women suck" conversations. "He's just expressing an opinion , let him speak!" - what a joke and an awful message to send to little girls and boys .
[–]IwantyoualltoBEDAVEPickmeisha™️30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You made me realise some things especially the part where older women in your family cherish a degenerate loser man over any woman. Thank you.
[–]CloacaDiddlerFDS Disciple53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m sorry you experienced that! It’s horrible isn’t it. Men are our natural enemies, not because we want it that way but because of how they act. And many of us also have to deal with even many women being against us, but thankfully that’s more of an older generation thing since they were brainwashed and hurt to behave that way. Younger women are breaking the cycle, loving themselves more, giving in to men less, and recognizing the faults of previous generations. We have a lot of work cut out for us thanks to the patriarchy.
[–]Davina33FDS Disciple58 points59 points60 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That is awful. I'm so sorry.
[–]DV_throwaway19675FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's sad.
[–][deleted] 146 points147 points148 points 5 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
Boys are allowed to be boys but girls cant be girls. Luckily I grew up with pretty liberal parents who didnt care about gender. They allowed me to play in the mud, catch frogs, and climb trees. Cant say that about the other girls I hung out with in school.
In middle school i remember me and this girl were climbing trees. Her mom comes out and flips out because its dangerous and tells her to get down. Meanwhile her younger brother was at a skate park. Somehow that's fine and totally not dangerous
[–]ninetiesbaby16FDS Apprentice119 points120 points121 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes I hate how little girls are forced to act like middle aged Victorian ladies: no running, no jumping, no playing, just pretend to sip tea quietly with barbie. We aren’t even allowed to be children. I remember being told (as pretty much a toddler) that I wasn’t ladylike, no shit I’m a little girl.
[–]McccyFDS Apprentice63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Same here, I had the luck to spend summers at my village where I could climb tress/swim on a lake/ get messy and tanned, and none really minded. While my friends living on the city had those clean freak parents that wouldn't even let them play with their own dogs and they would have heart attacks if their girls wanted to do something "boyish"
[–]cantstopthemachine77FDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lucky! My dad wouldn’t even let me climb trees as a 5 year old because it wasn’t “ladylike”.
[–]SearchLightsIncFDS Apprentice48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean... What's the fear these parents have of their female children being children?
[–]lalalalaikaFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I wasn't allowed to climb trees but I did it anyway. Whenever I got caught my parents would hit me. As soon as their attention went elsewhere, I went and climbed the tree again. 🙂
I had one tree I considered mine in the backyard, and I'd climb up onto the roof from my tree. I liked hanging out by myself up there. And I never fell, not once. As an adult, I enjoy rock climbing.
Hitting children as "punishment" only teaches them not to get caught. It doesn't teach them not to do the thing. Don't hit your kids, people
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple344 points345 points346 points 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
They say girls are mature only when it comes to being sexual. Making own decisions, being listened to, trying to find own place in the world, taking a leadership role? Nope, not allowed. Just sit quetly, be predictably well behaved and smile. Usually even grown women are being patronized like children, that's why some old creep saying she's ”mature” for her age as a cope for being a pedophile is somehow so deceptively attractive to young girls. Finally being taken seriously, but sadly for all the wrong reasons.
Girls are prone to being idealistic, impulsive, rash and reckless decision makers far into mid-twenties, when their prefrontal cortex is done developing and most of them see enough of bullshit going on to recognize and avoid it effectively. That's why truly mature women are being hated and feared, being painted as villains, as they have wool pulled off from their eyes and minds and can finally see the truth and share it with others.
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple156 points157 points158 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Usually even grown women are being patronized like children, that's why some old creep saying she's ”mature” for her age as a cope for being a pedophile is somehow so deceptively attractive to young girls.
God, this is so creepy. I never even considered this. When you're being dismissed and belittled and talked down to constantly, of course some older man (read: predator) treating you like you're so wise and mature is going to be appealing. We're literally groomed into finding these sickos attractive. Vomit.
[–][deleted] 81 points82 points83 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also we’re supposed to be more emotionally mature. So all the emotional labor is put on us. We are responsible for CoMMuNicatING but men are gently laughed at for being sooo dense, which is “just how men are” 🙄.
And like someone else noted.... the assumed sexual maturity is seen as “tempting”. This reveals that we’re expected to be morally mature too. Girls are burdened as the moral torchbearers, held responsible for men’s actions (especially sexual behavior) because we didn’t give them boundaries.
[–][deleted] 199 points200 points201 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Its true. Which is why my girlfriends are successful and their men cannot measure up to them. My cousin who is older than me asked me to not tell him about my grad school acceptance, because he's jealous that we are following similar paths, yet I'm ahead of him.
[–]libraliaFDS Newbie[S] 89 points90 points91 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
First of congrats!!! Second, his loss.
[–][deleted] 53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thank you. Its been so many steps, but I'm almost at the top.
[–]leichendienerinFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hell yeah, get it!!!
[–]OrangeyPandaFDS Apprentice77 points78 points79 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The lengths women go to censor themselves to protect male fragility.
[–][deleted] 37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are so right. I been keeping it away from him to not upset him. How ridiculous is that.
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn. Can't he just be happy for you like an adult?
[–][deleted] 57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Careful around him...
[–]NoonLooneyFDS Newbie125 points126 points127 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
And one of the worst part is that girls are taught to tolerate boys immature behaviour. If he's mean it means he likes you. If you're offered a gift you must accept it. If he rejected you then something is wrong with you etc.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Helpful_StockFDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes I've had something similar happen to me too. Its as if when a guy confesses that he likes you everyone pushes for you to be together, when you say you don't like them back, they're all dumbfounded and don't understand why. Then they say things like "ohh just give the poor boy a chance." Woman are looked down on for wanting to be with a man they actually like, if they reject anyone they're not into, it means they're "stuck up."
[–]thehappiestelephantFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And if he continues to pursue her, he's seen as romantic and "deserving for his efforts."
[–]Helpful_StockFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes! If a woman did the same thing they'd be labeled as crazy and possessive
[–]VillanellohFDS Newbie155 points156 points157 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Its funny how we're expected to have the wisdom and maturity of an older woman but not the body of one.
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hahah right? Then we actually mature and it’s our faults for being “tempting”. And I feel like we are suddenly expected to be the manic pixie dream girl as grown ass women, where we are only positive and make the men in our lives laugh, like we’re motivational sidekicks.
[–][deleted] 38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow. Ya'll are spilling some truths today.
[–]miss_tokieFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If only the male lurkers would take notes!
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice87 points88 points89 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
finally!
as some other women here wrote, society pushes this notion only when it suits men. It also dumps responsibility on young girls from early on and sometimes, it parentifies the girl-child. Girls of 12 were told to look after their siblings and do chores and cook, clean etc, while boys of 12 were still allowed to play and continue to be... you guessed... "boys".
Periods don't make a girl of let's say, 12, more mature or a woman. Mentally, she is a child and she is now even more vulnerable because of a physiological process and how it is viewed by society. yesterday she had no idea what periods are and after they got one, they are supposed to be "women", "mature", aware of herself... right. What a farce!
Girls are forced to "mature" because a sick society looks at things in black & white, denying multiple shades of grey. It pigeonholes young girls to either be infantilized or sexualized. Or sometimes both. Their insecurities and fears are exploited and accentuated. If they wanted to make the world a safer place for girls and women, they could have done that centuries ago. The truth is that things are the way they are because it benefits men and it discredits women. And young girls are the first to be discredited.
Pre-teen and teen girls become marketing targets and the category that "everyone loves to hate". They are called names, they are practically bullied by the media and the fashion & cosmetic industry, their fears & insecurities are used to milk the cash cow. They are supposed to be the responsible ones while society allows "boys to be boys". How unfair!
[–]libraliaFDS Newbie[S] 39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Women’s lives matter just long enough to get us on the trauma cycle long enough to be their mom.
This is why I think....Fuck a divorce rate. Fuck super conservative views.
[–][deleted] 45 points46 points47 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
💯
When boys are rambunctious: “he’s all boy! Haha!”
When girls are rambunctious: “Stop that! Go play quietly with your dolls.”
BTW I loved dolls but I also loved jumping on furniture.
[–]level_up_alwaysFDS Disciple23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
it really is such a process to undo all the brainwashing. it's so subtle. and we accept so much of it as fact and how things are supposed to be and our 'natural behavior' or whatever
[–]libraliaFDS Newbie[S] 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yep. I’m 36 and kinda pissed that I’ve wasted the years that I have.
[–]level_up_alwaysFDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm sorry, I just got into club 30 too and it is depressing but I'm glad to realize it now instead of in my 50s-60s having some loser scrote leave me for someone 20 years younger after I sacrificing my life and body I would fucking rage. I feel like the anger is natural and as women we are socialized not to express it when we need to! We are pissed and have every right to be! But we still have time sis however it is still a hard thing to accept *hugs*
[–]libraliaFDS Newbie[S] 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep. Reactive abuse from dealing with a narcissist. Women are so crazy, yeah because we are pushed that far!
[–]WestAtmosphereFDS Newbie40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Glad my parents always allowed me to be goofy and silly growing up. Though I did get shit on by other people for it, because people therefore think you are “stupid”.
[–]WhenLeavesFallFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Reminds me of that one time where my college boyfriend's mom told me to make sure he did his homework.
lmao no
[–]lilac2481FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmaooooo 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Omg I would love to know what you told her.
[–]deranged_berserkerFDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
From cradle to grave more like
[–]libraliaFDS Newbie[S] 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup.
Aww thanks for the award
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can I get an amen on this? I knew when someone told me that at the age of 13 it wasn’t a compliment.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Awwww....I kind of like the idea that we mature faster 😉
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