OLD profiles and effort

katiekat0214 · 2021-12-28T23:19:43+00:00

I agree with OP: know what to watch out for, because they tell on themselves almost immediately. Narcs are easy to out as well, it may take just slightly longer, ie a day or so. All you have to do with a narc is say no, make another suggestion, show you have your own way of doing things. Basically be an individual, and watch the mask slip.

OLD can be fun if you're ruthless, vet constantly, watch for slip-ups, and have high standards. It doesn't need to be work or a slog. Go with your first instinct and trust your gut.

stalient · 2021-12-28T22:23:19+00:00

Yeah I generally have a good time on OLD as well because I only invest energy in guys who I can tell are going to be enjoyable company on a date. I think it's because i have extremely good vetting instincts so I skip over a lot of negative experiences other women go thru. Pick up artists and other toxic types get filtered out fast because I can just smell it all over them. It's not exhausting or difficult for me because I can read most guys within the first couple of messages. Sure, the true HVM are rare, but it doesn't take much effort for me to swipe and filter people out. And the dates have been fun and enjoyable for the most part.

Most of the time when I see fds women posting their OLD conversations, I would have known to block within the first 3 messages. It takes the average woman, even on fds, longer to notice something is off, so they invest longer and end up disappointed and exhausted with OLD.

Trojaneer_South · 2021-12-28T21:14:16+00:00

I sat behind an attractive guy the other day and could see him using Tinder. I watched him open a DM and then try and fail to like look at the woman's profile? Like he kept swiping the wrong way from the message screen and then gave up. I was like... dude you have a match with a message yet can't even be bothered to respond or use the app properly.

LadiesOpinion · 2021-12-29T00:08:04+00:00

For the WLW FDS members out there: this vetting strategy also applies to women's OLD profiles!

I gave my LVX a shot because she was in my area (rare) and I found her to be the most attractive person I ever laid eyes on. In swiping right, I broke my own vetting rule: no low effort profiles (no 'about', no height, etc.) 🤡 NEVER LOWER YOUR STANDARDS FOR ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE!

While chatting, I chased. She "forgot to respond" right when I tried to set a date, so I 'saved it' with a joking reminder after two days 🤡 NEVER DATE SOMEONE WHO ISN'T EAGER TO DATE YOU!

Upon meeting I broke another rule: she used old pictures (she'd lost a lot of weight), and even got defensive about it when I pointed it out. But I continued the date because I found her attractive either way and didn't want to be shallow 🤡 WALK AWAY IF THEY MISLEAD YOU IN ANY WAY!

In the end, she turned out to be low-effort, low self-esteem, no friends, no hobbies, emotionally unavailable, and the deceptions and lies grew worse over time.

The Red Flags were there from day 1. An FDS mindset eventually got me out of that situation after 4 months together, but I'm still healing from the damage.

legoflowers · 2021-12-29T07:07:23+00:00

Why can’t men SMILE? Like all their profiles are them with a serious or a weird “quirky” face. Not the open mouth yelly smile, please. Save us. Save us from this scourge

ButterfliesHurricane · 2021-12-28T21:59:23+00:00

The problem with those apps is not the idiots who tell on themselves right away. Those apps are breeding ground for narcs and other pick up artists who will know how to manipulate the system to maximise the number of plates they spin. Why would you even give them that opportunity? Between those, the clueless, the lazy and the one who enjoys shopping around the candy shop even after wanting to go exclusive. It all sounds exhausting for little reward.

GreyTuxie · 2021-12-28T20:19:51+00:00

“I can’t see likes, send a message,” common on OKC, is the ultimate low effort and a hard pass.

spiker94ain · 2021-12-28T21:21:51+00:00

I’m with you here! Hinge is my go-to. Plenty of them are easily weeded out with their answers to the prompts and their characteristics on their profile. If they’re LVM it shows easily through a few back and forths on chat: unmatch and NEXT. I just jumped back in to OLD and I’m going to either make a guide or post the results and my thoughts in a few months.

magentacrown3 · 2021-12-29T00:47:42+00:00

Oh, 100%. I'm absolutely cut-throat when it comes to this. "Your mom will love me" one-liners with nothing else substantial? Swipe left. I don't care how attractive the guy is or if he has a flashy career. I find that guys who are serious about getting to know someone will actually put in the effort with their profile.

This also goes for the first 24-36 hours of messaging. This is a critical vetting period because you can assess their communication style, response times, vibe, etc. I recently unmatched on a guy with a decent profile because he kept on taking (extremely) long intervals to respond within the first 3 messages. Thank you, next.

dating-adventures · 2021-12-29T05:02:40+00:00

What kind of question can you put on your profile?

BasieSkanks · 2021-12-29T10:15:03+00:00

That is one of the major pros about online dating for me. Once you have your boundaries set, it is so much easier/quicker to filter men out. I would spent a maximum of five minutes per week on OLD because I was able to filter scrotes out so quickly.

flakeheart · 2021-12-28T21:48:55+00:00

Also, even if they are clueless, why would we want to be with such a person? Imagine the mental load we'd have to bare.

salome66 · 2021-12-29T00:24:00+00:00

Yeesh. I would add, men who:

Say 'just write and ask' in the about me section
Say the are into 'dark humor' or - 'say it like it is' (read: racism, sexism)

ProudHag · 2021-12-29T01:05:00+00:00

Same boat. A few more of my instant nopes:

Wearing sunglasses in main picture
first picture is a group picture
what they write does not match the prompt in any way
they are looking for “loyalty”
obvious filtering on their pictures
pictures of them texting/phone scrolling
no career information

Feline_Fine3 · 2021-12-29T05:44:29+00:00

Yep! I have all of the same vetting processes. HVM are very few and far between, but I’m hoping to actually come across one. I recently matched with a guy on Hinge who lives about an hour from me. We were messaging back and forth a bit, but he wasn’t asking me out. Eventually he said “I’ll hit you up” the next time he drove through on his way to Tahoe for skiing. Can’t make an actual plan. NOPE! 👎

ParadoxCoco · 2021-12-28T20:20:55+00:00

Do you think Bumble is worth all that effort? Because of the woman having to send the first message, you will always have the lower hand.

Kenia9 · 2021-12-29T02:40:05+00:00

What is OLD??

Title	OLD profiles and effort
Author	Madholley
Upvotes	301
Comments	47
Date	December 28, 2021 8:05 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rqockv/old_profiles_and_effort/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/old-profiles-and-effort.1090209 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090209

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