I have been following FDS down to the last word. It has turned my life around. I was hoping that some of you lovely ladies may have some feedback regarding my situation.

I have been excluaive with a man for 5 months now. He asked me to be his girlfriend after 5 dates and had made it clear that he is seeking marriage. He knows how to be a man and what is expected if him in terms of his behavior and contributions to my life-- financial and otherwise. I have met his family and friends. Our sex life is good. He makes me happy. So far, no red flags. I am pleased with how the relationship is progressing so far, but I am waiting to see if he continues to put in the effort and whether we are compatible in the long term.

We're both in our mid 30s and in stable places in our lives.

So what is my problem?

The last time we saw one another, he told that he would like our relationship to grow and for me to "open up emotionally." I have been careful with how much I reveal to him and not to get too emotionally invested. I keep him at a distance and do not show vulnerability. We enjoy one another's company, but I don't do the whole heavy emotional sharing thing. I have not become emotional around him. On the one occasion I was unhappy with his behavior, I simply withdrew. I am too old and have too much self esteem to "communicate."

When he initially asked me to "open up," I was kind of annoyed. He's my boyfriend-- not my husband, so it's not a reasonable thing to expect. On the other hand, I was always told that being able to be open and vulnerable is a part of a healthy relationship.

My general reaction to “opening up“ to men is that it‘s a bunch of BS to find weak spots, insecurities and a road to having my value reduced in their eyes. What does it mean to “open up” to a man anyway? He— or any other man— is not getting my past abuse (both childhood and at the hands of my ex’s). If I want emotional support, I go to my friends and wonderful therapist. Not to be cold and calculating, but I just don’t see how “opening up” to him emotionally will benefit me—or our relationship— in any way. I also worry that if I do "open up“ he will lose interest and stop putting in the effort. I think I read this in a post somewhere.

Do any of you ladies have thoughts on my situation? Or on my mindset on this issue?— am I wrong in thinking the way I do? Or how to naviagate this situation as a HV women, or alternatively about ”opening up” to men in general?