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Please, please, please dump your porn-addicted boyfriend. There’s been a lot of posts recently on men being energy vampires, but nothing in this world will take your energy more than being partnered to a guy with a porn addiction. It’s not your problem to fix - let him go

Myplummms

January 7, 2022

1108 upvotes

/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

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Post Information

Title	Please, please, please dump your porn-addicted boyfriend. There’s been a lot of posts recently on men being energy vampires, but nothing in this world will take your energy more than being partnered to a guy with a porn addiction. It’s not your problem to fix - let him go
Author	Myplummms
Upvotes	1108
Comments	51
Date	January 7, 2022 5:56 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ry09ie/please_please_please_dump_your_pornaddicted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/please-please-please-dump-your-porn-addicted.1094202 https://theredarchive.com/post/1094202

Comments

[–]HereToMessAroundFDS Newbie 235 points236 points237 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]_moonessFDS Newbie 128 points129 points130 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Squidwrd_Tortellini1 points 4 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]HereToMessAroundFDS Newbie 61 points62 points63 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]HereToMessAroundFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]extragoudaFDS Newbie 97 points98 points99 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[+]A-Nice-Witch 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Same. Repeatedly and while I was involuntary unconscious. I thought I was in a long-term monogamous relationship. I was sleeping with a monster.

Violent serial killers always play the chicken and egg game as to what came first, the porn or the killing? Psychopathy is a scale. The best one is the Hare Psychopathy Checist. Ted Bundy was in the high 30s, making it far more likely he would begin to kill. My ex? In the low 30s.

We aren’t swerfs. This is connected. We have it here from the horses’ mouth.

[–]extragoudaFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]arcanaschala 33 points34 points35 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's just awful. The hindsight thing is hard too. I think there needs to be more education or support for women, I didn't find enough of that growing up. Girls can start from a young age thinking they need to do what boys say sexually. I have a close family member who is a doctor, and I heard many horror stories about young girls who ended up in the ER "trying to do what their boyfriend wanted to do in bed," because clearly he'd seen it in porn and thought that was necessary to inflict upon her.

There is definitely not enough education (morality-wise) for boys/men, who often start watching porn young.
As long as things such as mistreatment/sexual violence/degradation towards women are accepted by society as normal, life is such a massive uphill battle for all females. Even small things that we don't even realize that men do, we're so conditioned to accept.

[–]missgelassenheitFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]VioletAS86FDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]Quirky_Watercress_60 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]curlyhaiirFDS Newbie 90 points91 points92 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The worst thing is how so many women see nothing wrong with porn and are OK with a partner who watches porn („we even watch porn together!“). If you criticize the porn industry they tell you that you hate sex workers and that doing porn is so empowering for them. Some girl told me once to “stick my anti-porn agenda in my a** and go back to church”. I’m not conservative for believing that porn harms not only women, but children and men. There is nothing normal about young boys and men wanting to r*pe, beat, abuse or degrade women to get off. And there is nothing normal about young girls and women who think that this is what they need to get off too. There’s nothing normal about watching “barely legal teens” which increases the demand for CP.

If men start to endorse something (pro sex-work, pro porn, liberal feminism, bdsm etc…) you should all distrust it with your entire life. It only grants them easier access to sex and easier access to hurt and abuse women.

[–]Quirky_Watercress_60 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]_moonessFDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ExistentialJellyFDS Newbie 54 points55 points56 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I worked in hotels for 6+ years and I saw way too much and honestly think the normalization of porn and sex work is too much.

Common responsibilities I had in my role were to make sure the guest computers were wiped clean (because of porn and affair websites. This was. A public space where anyone, any age could walk in on them), make sure movies were charged to the bill (we can see what you watch and for how long. The guys who ordered a lot of porn would watch for like <5minutes and then dispute the charge of the movie), help connect laptops and phones to wifi( elderly men always had 1000 tabs open, which caused issues, and when clearing them out, there was an insane amount of porn.)

I'd also see escorts coming and going at all hours of the day. There were way too many guy groups coming together, ordering a lady, and then taking turns going back to the room. A lot of guys also called down to ask for phone numbers for escort services (one dude actually asked if we had a recommended service we worked with, like we do with pizza companies). I was solicited when I told a guy I had no idea about an escort service and he said I sounded cute, so I should come up and he'd pay. And they were so casual about it! I found out that escort services have debit at your door available now. I'd be called to people's rooms to fix wifi and TV's and there would be porn on the TV all nonchalant and sometimes be solicited.

The ones that always bothered me the most were the men who would take their rings off as soon as they were checking in. A man who was my grandfather's age would come every week and an hour after he arrived, his regular escort would come in. I overheard a conversation where he wanted to have her meet him at the side door because he didn't want us to see her and to be more discrete as his wife could find out. She told him that if he expected her to come through the side door as if she was a lesser being, he could lose her number. The reason these guys bothered me the most, they were married. There was someone at home, waiting for them and maybe not aware of their husband's behaviour and actively missing them, or they had a hunch and were stressed and worried about infidelity. These guys were willing to give their wive's STD's for an out of town lay. To break their trust. It broke my heart when we had women call in asking if their husband had been registered at that hotel for certain dates and we were legally not allowed to disclose the details unless the wife's name was on the reservation.

Porn is not healthy, especially not to the degree at which it is part of our society now. It has normalized horrible treatment of women. It has damaged the foundation of many relationships, and it is getting progressively more dangerous with violence being incorporated. Avoid porn-sick men.

[–]EurasianEmpressFDS Newbie 205 points206 points207 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]souredskittlesFDS STRATEGY COACH 131 points132 points133 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]rwilkz1 points 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]UnevenHandedFDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

I see your point... but I also think that within the confines of the sub we can appreciate the nuance here. He was an intelligent, manipulative serial killer, and a big part of that was being very good at lying.

The best lies are the ones that are largely true, but include a tiny jump in logic. Those are they ones everyone falls for, like how a ton of people (and the media) fell for Ted Bundy's schtick.

Sounds plausible that he'd met many men like him, who were into pornography and violence. All of that isn't groundbreaking new info, it's him building credibility by repeating facts. It's rhe part where he goes, and therefore I was not responsible for murdering several young women in a cold, pre-meditated and violent manner that's the jump.

... But stuff from here gets shared, and it got here by being shared. The fact that so many man share porn consumption, in common with a serial killer, isn't a good look, but the "he was lying" retort is too easy. So yeah, I think using Bundy as an example discredits the validity of the argument in general.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 51 points52 points53 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Environmental_Most28 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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