Potential Red Flag Questions

cheeksnpeeks · 2021-02-22T07:04:50+00:00

This is a great question

Also along the same lines they ask “if you want to go back and change something in life, what would that be ?”

This question answers your greatest weakness or your Achilles Heel for them. Shows you where you’re truly vulnerable.

Erinelda · 2021-02-22T07:11:37+00:00

Whenever I talk to a guy he is LOADED with red flags. The last email I got was today and it full of love bombing about my red hair and perceived OLD value. Then he negged me about how dying my red hair would make me less popular. He bragged about giving some other girl "the best compliment she ever got on OLD" and he didn't ask me even one question about myself. He even said that thing I hate about how he'd never be rude to me because of how I look.

"Certain types of women I have a mega soft spot for. So the odds of me being mean or sick to you is minus 100000"

Yikes.

He is the most suitable on paper for me in years. He is looking for a relationship, he talks a lot, he is reasonably attractive, age appropriate, seems nice enough and seems into me ...and I am 75% sure that he is covert narc. There is always something with these guys, something making them impossible to date. At least that's how it goes for me.

DutyKooky · 2021-02-22T07:19:07+00:00

YOU NEVER HAVE TO ANSWER ANY OF THEIR QUESTIONS! always volley it back to them.

fairywakes · 2021-02-22T07:42:18+00:00

Any question about your sexual history or ESPECIALLY a number of sexual partners. That is absolutely none of their business, and if you tell them they will be arbitrarily judging your 'worth' as a woman.

SkiesEclipse · 2021-02-22T11:10:59+00:00

So, sometimes I’ve noticed guys ask questions about your insecurities not because they are looking for ammunition against you, but because they are doing a manipulation tactic called “forced teaming”.

People do it consciously or unconsciously, but the principle is that they ask very intimate questions or share very intimate details about themselves early on in the hopes of forcing intimacy and bonding without all the preamble of getting to know each other.

In other words, skipping the process of learning about each other and building trust. Over-sharers are a huge red flag for this reason, and men who say shit like “small talk is fake,” or “I hate small talk” are another huge red flag and usually show that this is a socially inept man who doesn’t have emotional intelligence.

Men with emotional intelligence realize that you can’t just skip the small talk phase, because you need to show you are trustworthy over time, and that you will take care of the women you are with when she chooses to be vulnerable with you.

No man is entitled to know your soul. He is privileged if you decided to share that with him.

Exsqueeze_meh · 2021-02-22T07:13:12+00:00

My feeling would be he’s trying to make you feel insecure. In the very least he sounds shallow.

DutyKooky · 2021-02-22T07:17:29+00:00

I always (a) volley it back to them right away "mine for yours" and make them answer their own question first (b) say something general or don't even reply anything at all, after they've shared themselves.

shmarhar · 2021-02-22T14:16:43+00:00

wHy aRE yOu oN THis ApP

Well shit Colin I didn't think this was DoorDash

Turbulent_Gazelle · 2021-02-22T09:15:41+00:00

Oh hell no. Go watch that YT video post with that jerk telling men to tell us we're fat and such to bring us down and break us.

I hope you blocked and deleted him. Don't wait for there to be a red flag parade to do it.

daisy_0720 · 2021-02-22T12:10:19+00:00

I would have answered "my penis", then blocked. He has no business trying to gain access to your insecurities.

peachymelly · 2021-02-22T16:36:59+00:00

On a third date with a guy (thought we were hitting it off just firm) kept asking me what my “type” was, and I said I don’t really have a type... I like who I like and he didn’t believe me and kept badgering. I gave vague stuff just like.. “smiles are cool” blah blah. Then he was like I like big titty goth girls , really pale skin. (I’m a black woman) and then threw in “ethnic” I was just like... okay?

Needless to say, I should’ve saw that coming when he suddenly wasn’t “feeling” it.

Twolipz_78 · 2021-02-22T15:01:13+00:00

“If you can change anything about your self what would it be?”

I only answered that I wish I had more patience.

missgirl649 · 2021-02-22T18:19:33+00:00

ANY question that feels way too personal off the bat, especially what went wrong in your previous relationships and what they were like (I understand this is a fine question to ask someone when you’ve gotten to know them, but definitely not sooner than that). A lot of narcs use this question to find out what you do and don’t like in relationships and will use this to lovebomb you in the beginning and then tear you down with later. Narcs also tend to ask very personal “getting to know you questions” early on to mirror you. Honestly I’m not comfortable with anyone asking me questions about my dating life, previous relationships, insecurities, beliefs, etc too early on. There’s usually an agenda there.

onceuponasea · 2021-02-22T15:27:18+00:00

Wtf!! Wow, this sounds like a subtle neg to me. I hope you nexted his ass.

Interesting_Day1188 · 2021-02-22T16:30:04+00:00

I would ask, why? Is there something about me you don't like?

ArugulaIsAwesome · 2021-02-23T00:56:12+00:00

I had a video chat with a guy who asked me if I get Botox or fillers.

I called him out and told him that that was a terrible question to be asking any woman ever.

He said he talks about it with girls all the time.

I turned it around and said I’ll answer your question if you tell me how often you watch porn.

He didn’t like my question. 🤣

ddamaya · 2021-02-22T23:29:45+00:00

Would have probably just responded with “nothing I’m prefect” and never talked to him after that

mzammy · 2021-02-22T07:23:55+00:00

He asked that to see if you were different from your pictures. Like ‘oh I would want to lose weight’ or ‘I’d change my nose’ etc. He’s manipulative, disgusting, immature

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Title	Potential Red Flag Questions
Author	fhiskdnejfijs
Upvotes	265
Comments	39
Date	February 22, 2021 12:39 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lpawzr/potential_red_flag_questions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/potential-red-flag-questions.744420 https://theredarchive.com/post/744420

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