Sending nudes is a terrible idea

IrateBraceFace · 2020-04-25T22:50:20+00:00

Got a message from an old date of mine right when the covid restrictions started, "thank god I have your folder during these times". Didn't have contact with him in 6 months, he knows i moved in with my boyfriend. It's a power play thing. I regret trusting him.

Cobmobster21 · 2020-04-26T01:25:29+00:00

One of my exes wanted me to send him nudes and I refused. He swore he wouldn’t share them with anyone. Yeah I’m gonna send you pics of my nekkid body like you’d delete that shit if we’d break up which we did. Why send nudes when you can just have sex? 🙄

throwaway23004345 · 2020-04-25T20:40:49+00:00

Yea FDS agrees to never send nudes. Even if they don’t get exposed, women give their power away too much. A guy tried to force me to send a video of me masturbating (i didn’t thank god) but I still have trauma from that.

So no, never. Not even your husband. Have boundaries and standards for yourself

2020-04-25T23:21:47+00:00

Yeah women think men have exactly the same trustworthiness and integrity that a woman has for men, that’s incorrect there is a power differential and cultural misogyny affects every male even if they try their best to respect women. It’s not that guy in particular you should worry about, it’s all the men he knows enforcing a social code of behavior and attitudes towards any women. “I trust him” should mean “I trust him right now.” men can change their behavior towards you fast and become misogynistic assholes over time. I’ve seen it.

foieblah · 2020-04-25T23:45:46+00:00

Even before FDS I’ve refused to send nudes. I work in a very male dominated field with little to no HR dept which means I know that every boyfriend and husband that I’ve ever met has shown his girl’s nudes to me or whoever they feel like bragging to at the time.

This is occurs when they’re sober or drunk, while they’re still in the relationship or broken up. They don’t care, you’ve just become another thing to get hard to.

Present_Pumpkin · 2020-04-25T21:06:23+00:00

Yes, agreed. I think men get off on the fact that you have worked for him by taking and sending the pictures.

Its psychological for them.

eclecticstates · 2020-04-26T03:08:50+00:00

I would never send nudes. I don't trust a single guy not to spread that shit around.

buddingQueenie · 2020-04-25T21:04:41+00:00

When they say "I trust him"...

Um, do you know how many revenge porn nudes there are floating around the internet from girls who said the same thing?

I never understood that argument.

PhospholipidB · 2020-04-26T04:38:28+00:00

It's not just that. Some men swap jerkoff material with friends. Porn is so everywhere and guys today really do see your nudes as being equivalent to porn.

A guy I know would visit a convenience store as part of his route. He knew the other vendors who stopped there, and they liked to joke about who this woman would go for. So one of the other guys did ask her to get together and talked her into sending him a video of her masturbating. He promptly (without her consent)passed it along to the other guys to "prove" he had game. Now every male vendor walking into her store knows how she rubs one out,and most of those men probably jerked off to it.

Dont send anything you'd feel embarrassed about if your parent or your future-potential husband saw it.

tellmesomething11 · 2020-04-25T20:47:28+00:00

Yes! I once had an ex tell me he still viewed the videos I had sent him when we were together. He had a new girlfriend and was still watching naked videos of me. Smh. And he wanted me to know he still watched them 🤦🏽‍♀️

spin_the_globe · 2020-04-26T03:43:24+00:00

Never send nudes. Never keep dating anyone who asks you for nudes.

mandoa_sky · 2020-04-26T05:00:53+00:00

i think they're a bad idea. there are so many places that refuse to hire women if they find out that those nudes exist.
I'm not throwing away my future just for some temporary thrill.

Kabochapomo · 2020-04-25T22:29:26+00:00

A guy on a dating app asked me straight away if he could have my nudes. He was trying to get nudes for every european country while in quarantine. Screw these guys seriously.

Davina33 · 2020-04-25T20:43:58+00:00

I agree. It's not even just about men showing them to friends or committing revenge porn. I've worried about my iCloud getting hacked. So I don't even take nude photos in the first place.

Haagen-Dazs-Queen · 2020-04-25T20:51:20+00:00

My exact thoughts. Don't give the guy unnecessary leverage. Even if he is a HVM.

amielouise · 2020-04-25T22:13:51+00:00

I sent pictures to my ex and he told me after we broke up he was "using" them twice a day. I was shocked because we exchanged pictures during the relationship but the day we broke up I deleted his out of respect. I really hope he has deleted them, since realising it's really over. It's a lesson ladies, be very careful who you send anything to.

Sekina7 · 2020-04-25T23:43:40+00:00

TERRIBLE IDEA! Damn at least not with your face or anything that can be traced back to you! I had no idea of the male depravity surrounding revenge fantasies/porn and the number of floating pics on porn sites and outer sites where these cu**s are SELLING their exes nudes without hem knowing? Like that's a double whammy of betrayal and hypocrisy of the "Jezebel" etc but it's ok for men to pimp out their exes who were probably smart enough to finally leave them? THIS is why I love this sub. You realise that the world is not fair and the people that run it or are on top are not there by dripping in empathy, niceness etc. The benefit we have as women is that we can fly under the guise of being innocent and our femininity can disarm men but we MUST keep our wits about us and let common bloody sense prevail. The sad thing is though when we are young women some of us are still wet behind the ears and want to believe in prince charming but for any young ones out here -HE DOES NOT EXIST, DO NOT RISK IT, ONCE YOU'VE CUT MEN OFF THEY ARE SICK WITH ANGER, JEALOUSY AND THE THIRST FOR REVENGE !!!

Ms_Snicket · 2020-04-26T13:25:54+00:00

[deleted]

bootyinspector9000 · 2020-04-26T10:48:51+00:00

I used to have an "online fwb" (I know, I know) and when I got in a relationship with someone else he messaged me "If I still had your nudes I'd upload them to the internet right now"

2020-04-25T21:59:41+00:00

I Absolutely agree!💯❗️

even_thriller · 2020-04-26T14:03:26+00:00

Yeahhh definitely don’t do it. My pick me self did with an ex and I regret it. I haven’t since then because anything can be traced back to you. Men will keep it for years even with new gfs and its so disrespectful and gross. I haven’t sent any ever since and absolutely refuse to. 🤬🤮

mythicalnebula · 2020-04-26T00:04:55+00:00

I agree

--qtbunny-- · 2020-04-26T01:57:41+00:00

I prefer in person interaction instead.

zombiessalad · 2020-04-26T03:56:08+00:00

Revenge porn regardless, even if the guy doesn’t do anything with the pics.... someone could steal his phone, he could lose his phone, he could get hacked, the list goes on. There are too many risks for the pictures to get out. There’s no gain from sending nude pictures.

rude_cockatiel · 2020-04-26T10:32:44+00:00

Learned this with my ex. Messaged me a month or 2 later (after breaking up) asking for nudes/videos I used to send him, said no, and he threatened to put a couple pictures of me online with all my personal info saying "you work as a bartender, be you don't want creeps knowing where you work/live etc".

I got so fucking mad because I was at work and he was bullshitting me to my face, I said if he tries anything I'd call the cops for revenge porn and show his grandma the screenshots of him saying this shit to me. It must've scared him because then he crumbled and apologised for being pathetic... then nicely asked for nudes saying "I made you happy for so long".

colourwayss · 2020-04-26T21:10:54+00:00

yep. it’s not about getting off, they have porn for that. nudes are about having power to assert over you and that’s all.

_boring_daven_ · 2020-04-27T02:59:40+00:00

There are a few things one should never do if they want to be successful. One of them is send and take nudes. If you never take nudes then no one can blackmail you with them.

Ms_Snicket · 2020-04-27T11:34:44+00:00

I've never considered this, and shockingly, I've never been asked, even when I had an actual boyfriend.

I am currently online dating someone and if he asked me to do anything on cam or send nudes it would be an instant blocking. I do air kisses, which might earn me teasing later but it's not blackmail.

venomoth91 · 2020-04-26T18:35:50+00:00

My friend literally got injured while doing this. We were in Vegas last summer and she went in the bathroom to take nudes to send to her boyfriend back home, and she slipped on a water puddle and fell down. She was OK though, just minor bruises. They’re still together now though.

Title	Sending nudes is a terrible idea
Author	kahrea
Upvotes	194
Comments	40
Date	April 25, 2020 8:34 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g80sxu/sending_nudes_is_a_terrible_idea/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/sending-nudes-is-a-terrible-idea.677568 https://theredarchive.com/post/677568

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