Can we stop calling them HVM for doing something nice, something a woman would do and wouldn’t be awarded for? I watched a video of a man adding shelves to a room to make a little library for his wife, and while that’s certainly nice, it was also quite normal and not super amazing? It’s equally as nice as a woman regularly making her husband lunch/dinner, and millions of women around the world do this. It’s regular when women do it. Maybe Normal/Acceptable Value Men? Any decent man with a pinch of knowledge on the historical dynamic between men and women will aim to please, and absolutely not transactionally. It just rubs me so wrong when people call a man high value because he actually experiences empathy/isn’t mild to moderately sociopathic.

I feel it will also help us reframe our own view. Calling someone HV because they’re not a narcissist is probably not helping us psychologically. Not being a dick is the bare minimum.