Edit: Thank you ladies for all of the kind words. I really needed them this morning. I'm so glad to have a group of supportive women around me. My friend told me "Always keep your girlfriends close. They will get you through your shit. It won't be a man helping you, ever."

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Edit 2: OMG YA'LL. He spelled my middle name wrong on the card L M A O. Actually, he didn't even spell it wrong. IT WAS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT F'ING NAME. Tore it up and threw it in the trash. Kept the gifts.

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This just happened like 2 hours ago. It is a mix of me overcoming some PickMeism, and some more proof that men know what they are NOT doing. If he wanted to, he would.

TLDR; I’d told him all this shit already before, he couldn’t figure it out; and suddenly when he’s going to be dumped he knows just what to do. I don’t feel too good about how long I stayed and what a pick me I still am. I don't feel too good at all.

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Long Version

So, I was dating another scrote for a good while. I really don’t want to admit how long tbh. Please be somewhat gentle with me, I am actively working on my fear of “being mean” with a therapist. It takes steps and work to be HVW, I can’t do it overnight. Here’s what he did/didn’t do:

  • Never took me on even ONE fucking date (I know)
  • Interrupted me All…. The… Time. Even sometimes telling me I could now continue talking, when he was done
  • Mansplained my fucking career to me
    • He even once mansplained to me what oatmeal is……
  • Always said aggressive kind of shitty things like “what did you expect?”. (Do ya’ll get what I mean by that?)
  • He was broke (he was trying to improve this, but actually so clueless he just didn’t know how to)
  • He was also another one of the million scrotes who can’t keep a clean home or dress himself properly
  • He couldn’t adult very well at all in general
  • I told him to clean his home. After he started cleaning.. He wanted a gold star or a cookie for keeping a clean home. Like it was something special. Why are they like this?

He came over tonight to pick his things up. He knew I was gonna dump him. He shows up with MULTIPLE Christmas presents and a card (I still haven’t opened them, I just can’t). And a big date planned out for Friday night.

I’ve already told him I want gifts and dates. We’ve been doing this for MONTHS. At first he claimed “everything goes wrong when I plan dates, I’m not good at it”, “I never know what to get for gifts, I wish women would just tElL mE.” WELL HE SUDDENLY KNEW WHAT TO BUY ME AND HOW TO TAKE ME ON A FREAKIN DATE DIDN’T HE??? They know exactly what they are doing. If they wanted to, they would.

I truly hope that this time, I will actually take the time to heal and reflect on my own actions rather than jumping into the next relationship. So I can learn to enforce my boundaries and not be afraid to speak up for myself. No one can say I didn’t try, I tried so hard. I put up with things I hated, I tried to communicate, I was often hurt and sad, or unsatisfied. Why do men think that when I give and try to be a good kind human, that it is a pass to walk all the fuck over me. This isn’t right.