Take note ladies!

popfriday · 2020-02-09T01:25:03+00:00

Sorry if this isn’t very coherent, I’m super irritated.

Well being a top notch Pickmeisha is quite the exhausting job. Especially when you gotta go boss mode when all your friends have the audacity to try to level up for their newborns.

AffectionateEchidna5 · 2020-02-09T02:12:41+00:00

I'm not going to blame the games. It's the person who plays. I've got a lady friend who does esports. She has no issues managing her home, her kids, and her husband. I myself love gaming quite a bit and I don't have any issue managing my life.

It boils down to he just doesn't give a shit.

I have never heard from any friend that their man ignored them when they were wearing next to nothing for a damn video game.

SarcasmSlide · 2020-02-09T02:07:20+00:00

She’s a Pickmesha for sure but she’s not wrong. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You commit to a man for who he is right now. Not who you think he can be or who you want him to be: just as he is right now. If he’s a loser he’s not going to become a winner. A husband and father shouldn’t be a project.

heavenlycaterpiller · 2020-02-09T02:41:56+00:00

[deleted]

eru378 · 2020-02-09T03:23:41+00:00

FDS: men should step up, be responsible, behave with honesty and integrity, improve the world around them

everyone else: booooo

Pickmeishas: men are little children who love to do games and we must let them play with their toys whenever they want

everyone: [rapturous applause]

greenappletw · 2020-02-09T04:45:16+00:00

Oooh I hate women like her.

Also: huge red flag if men are very resistant to "change" after marriage. What they mean is they want to go on living exactly like they did before with their wife and kids tiptoeing around him.

I was talking to this one guy who early on was very adamant that no woman would ever change him or take away time from his boys. He also really wanted to be a husband and father. Like bitch.....

He wanted to be a little peter pan with a wife who stepped into the mother role. I said bye after one date.

Any normal rational adult understands that your priorities, habits, and general lifestyle have to change both in marriage and in parenthood. That's life, that's growth. You don't get to stay an irresponsible free 20 year old forever unless you want to be alone forever.

RadarFemef · 2020-02-09T02:16:53+00:00

Video game addiction is real, it destroys lives and relationships.

Don’t enter or stay in a relationship with an addict, period. Video game addicts are part of that.

WestAtmosphere · 2020-02-09T06:09:38+00:00

I play games, but I do see how gaming is a problem or can be. I’m pretty well rounded though in my hobbies, and I won’t avoid going out because of games.

That’s the big problem is when people avoid their responsibilities, can’t manage time, and avoid being out in the real life. In a world where depression and anxiety is becoming more pronounced the rise of gaming goes up. I think this is because gaming just shuts off that part of your brain that overthinks, and your reward complex is activated. Hence why I believe it’s addictive.

ironymaiden87 · 2020-02-09T11:17:13+00:00

I was in a relationship with a gamer for four years and it was fucking terrible. Can you imagine prioritising a goddamn game over literally everything in your actual real life? I can't believe how stupid I was for not seeing all the red flags! But as a wise owl once said, when you're wearing rose-tinted glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.

I will never, ever date a gamer again. I'm a beachy outdoorsy nature person and my partner has to be too.

FickleShame · 2020-02-09T01:58:59+00:00

Video games are 'fine.'

Video games are fine in the sense that maybe he uses them for no more than an hour to unwind at the end of the day.

Video games are fine in the sense that he plays ones that actually end. It's been a long time- years- since I last had it happen but I've been known to binge new games over a weekend. But that's something that happens less frequently than once a year- and it's not something I'd ever admit in public. I've also known men who play video games that do not end, and they spend every waking moment that isn't sleep, or work, playing them. The only reason he's not low value is because he himself admitted to me that he's not interested in any kind of relationship and had the self awareness to realize he's in no condition to be in a relationship. Sad, but honest.

That said, the question is whether or not it's their identity. I play video games, I'd never call myself a 'gamer'. I'm just not that into them any more. It's something to do on a lazy Sunday, or after a stressful day at work. Video games are fine- and I'd rather a husband who's permissive of them than flatly says, 'video games are for nerds!' or something else condescending- but someone who's entire identity is bundled up in them, and without it being their profession, that's a huge red flag.

Lady_Schmoobleydong · 2020-02-09T02:39:47+00:00

My husband is an avid gamer but it doesn’t effect his household chores or work or his paying attention to me or our quality time. He knows I don’t care for the games he plays, and I don’t pretend to, though I know his sharing them with me is his way of including me. He does use games as a way to blow off steam of a long day or enjoying a day off, if he had a real issue or if it or if it caused him to neglect his duties or future duties, we’d have a problem.

Aenema_ · 2020-02-09T12:33:07+00:00

Nothing is more of a turn off than when a guy spends several hours a day playing video games and has no other real hobbies. Yuck. Go spend your time doing something actually useful. If you game occasionally as a way to relax or whatever, fine. But if it that’s all you do, that’s unbelievably boring and lazy.

mariadoeseverything · 2020-02-09T13:25:11+00:00

There is a name for women whom this happens to: Gamer Widow

I was one. My ex absolutely had a gaming addiction and let the house fall apart around our ears. The summer I filed for divorcd, the WHO listed gaming as an addiction. If that had happened before I filed, I would have absolutely gone after him for it.

lilythebeth · 2020-02-09T03:43:31+00:00

There’s a reason why the WHO says that video games are addictive...and as with all addicts - for the love of God, stay away.

boudiceanMonaxia · 2020-02-09T06:19:47+00:00

Gaming, like any hobby, is fine on its own. But when people start to get overly absorbed into a hobby and begin to stop giving a fuck about anything else,they instantly become Low-Value. When that happens, fucking run.

rinabean · 2020-02-09T11:37:58+00:00

He obviously isn't being responsible and she obviously didn't actually tell him he can't game ever again. How is that so obvious to me reading it but not to her who maybe watched him try to say it with his face? It's probably obvious to her, but she's too deep in the man pandering to admit it.

I mean in her version of events this man married and impregnated a completely insane unreasonable woman and his response is... to game? How does he have time when he's raising that baby single handedly because the mother is so deranged? Oh yeah because he's lying and none of this is true.

sporadicbliss · 2020-02-09T16:33:54+00:00

My ex used to do this. I’d go out for a hike or to the gym or something and he’d stay home and play video games. I didn’t really mind that part, although it would’ve been nice if he came with me more often (and I definitely could’ve done without him grilling me about whether anyone was “checking me out” when I got home).

But it did bother me when I’d finally get some time alone with him and he’d proceed to straight-up ignore me and play one of his shooter games for hours instead. And god forbid I said I wished he and I could do something together instead ... I’d be accused of “causing drama” and “needing constant attention” and then I’d get the silent treatment.

2020-02-09T03:46:50+00:00

The moment I see one of those gamer chairs, I'm out.

thedrunkcuteblonde · 2020-02-09T01:45:33+00:00

I bet you the other woman didn’t say that she expected her husband to “never game” again but instead was just lamenting that her LVM of a husband chose games over helping with his newborn child.

StillAwakeofCourse · 2020-02-09T06:26:52+00:00

Gaming = hard pass. Btdt

2020-02-09T01:46:01+00:00

Big difference between playing video games and blowing off your relationship partner to game. My old landlord spent LITERALLY 13 hours a day on the weekends playing fortnite and 6 on the weekday. His wife was desperate for some attention! That's so different than a guy who plays for 3 hours on weekends, or 1-2hr on weeknights

EmotionalClimate · 2020-02-09T16:48:10+00:00

Video game addiction is now officially recognized by the World Health Organization and ICD (International Classification of Diseases) -- yes, doctors can BILL for this disease.

This is as dire and serious as other addictions -- drugs, alcohol, sex, hoarding, risky behaviors, you name it. Stay FAR away, there is NOTHING you or any other external force (i.e. a child) can do to change this. Even if he's a "functioning" gamer, it's a slope too slippery for me to gamble.

2020-02-09T01:44:41+00:00

"I'm sooooooooo much better than other women"

Title	Take note ladies!
Author	littlecuterose
Upvotes	190
Comments	35
Date	February 9, 2020 1:15 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f11664/take_note_ladies/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/take-note-ladies.693966 https://theredarchive.com/post/693966

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