Thoughts?

mathildahl · 2020-04-11T20:11:37+00:00

Prime case of respecting the letter of the law but not the spirit. Sounds like an exhausting relationship to be in - who wants a partner who tries to pull one over you?

pissed_af · 2020-04-11T19:33:33+00:00

I would end things then and there.

finalbosskitten · 2020-04-11T19:24:00+00:00

Super awkward situation, but owing to how he lied and covered up winning a free flight and the fact that he ACTIVELY asked her to pay for the actual costs he betrayed her trust. It'd be different if he said he got free tickets and she offered to front some of the cost of the hotel.

Kind of surprised there's even any confusion as to who's in the wrong here...but I'm guessing he probably feels like he did her a favor and her getting mad makes her the asshole or her snoops. Which aren't good either tho tbh I feel like they shouldn't be dating.

Soulsalts · 2020-04-11T20:20:05+00:00

Yeah, he just knows how to bargain for vacations. And bargain himself right out of relationships.

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-04-11T19:25:43+00:00

This guy sounds like the type of people who would conveniently forget their wallet when going out with friends

Proud-Purpose · 2020-04-11T21:19:16+00:00

HAHAHAHAHA

They explain it here:

http://www.usasexguide.nl/forum/showthread.php?15100-Sugarbaby-Thread-Highlights-Index-and-FAQ

I don't wanna look at this again, but there's a post somewhere with a "guide" that uses this exact tactic. Make a woman chip in on a corporate trip that's 100% covered for him anyway.

I think mods need to pin this website, honestly.

pinkyberries · 2020-04-11T19:48:19+00:00

If he had to lie he knows he is doing something wrong.

Hedy__Lamarr · 2020-04-12T02:26:01+00:00

What if one of his friends did this to him? Would he just chalk it up to his buddy "just knowing how to bargain for vacations?" Or a brother? Or a coworker? Anyone?

The answer is OF COURSE NOT. He'd be irate if someone did this to him. He's just using mental gymnastics to rationalize his behavior as smart so he can avoid the fact that he's really just a piece of shit human being.

It's lying by omission. And if anyone did that to me, be it a friend, a family member, a boyfriend, I'd probably never speak to them again. Because if they're willing to be that underhanded god only knows what else they'd be willing to do behind your back if they thought it benefited them.

idiosyncrassy · 2020-04-11T19:39:00+00:00

Yes, she is right. He won free flights and had her pay the hotel. They should have split the remaining costs.

LVMs love to pull shit like this and then have the nerve to claim that women are "gold-diggers." Don't ever let a man call YOU a gold-digger for refusing to cover HIS costs.

siberiansummer · 2020-04-12T01:22:44+00:00

Sounds like an ultimate LVM move. I'd dump him immediately

Illustrious_Drive · 2020-04-12T05:45:20+00:00

If you were dating a guy you really really liked a lot, and you won free flights, would you tell that guy “hey I won free fights! Let’s book a hotel and split the cost! The trip will be so cheap for us!!”

Or would you do what this guy did?

I know I would be the first.

Amy3e13 · 2020-04-11T21:13:57+00:00

Never "pitch in" for a man. If he is serious about you he will never ask you to pay. But if he does not really care about losing you, he might ask you to "pitch in". After all, you are not that special to him anyway.

2020-04-11T22:41:01+00:00

PhospholipidB · 2020-04-11T19:32:15+00:00

It's not about him using flyer miles to pay for tickets, in my opinion.

However: they're together 7 months and presumably intimate enough to be sleeping together (a shared hotel room). But he would commit a lie by omission about winning a $1,100+ raffle? How does a person forget to mention it? What else is he hiding?

On the other hand, would a quality woman snoop in his laptop & emails with no probable cause? If she trusts him that little, they should not be together.

RadarFemef · 2020-04-11T22:49:08+00:00

Yes she’s right. If he didn’t pay for the tickets, he should have split payment for something else.

OR if he invited her to go on vacation, he should have paid for everything

k20_4 · 2020-04-12T09:29:29+00:00

It's undoubtedly shady and inconsiderate. Technically, he didn't have to use his points to get her a ticket, and the points used for her ticket are points he can't use for one for himself, but they both wanted to go on the trip.

I don't know the man or woman's financial situation, but most people who have flown enough or have a job that flies them places that frequently can typically afford a 4-day couple's retreat every once in a while. Personally, I know that the men that I date at this point in my life (20 years old, student, part-time min. wage worker) typically make at least double what I make, and it would take the better part of a year for me to set aside over $800 to spend on a vacation.

Even if I could afford the hotel stay, if I were the woman in that relationship, I would be angry that he was not more forthcoming with his payment method for the tickets. If he paid for the tickets as well as all of the meals/transportation/activities during the trip, that would be different, but for some reason, I feel like that was not the case in this scenario.

wheelsonthebusyeah · 2020-04-12T10:57:08+00:00

You don't do that to your friend or your lover. The fact that he couldn't be upfront about it shows he is guilty.

sassensnack · 2020-04-12T00:20:00+00:00

His invite should have been,

“Hey love, you know what happened today? I won a voucher for two flights to X. I want us to go, I think it would be amazing. Would you be willing to split the hotel cost with me?”

Done. If that’s not the convo, I’d be outta there.

FeetOffOurNecks · 2020-04-12T05:49:45+00:00

I need advice please: it FDS policy that if your boyfriend invites you on a trip that you both will enjoy, he should always pay for the whole thing?

Title	Thoughts?
Author	Blackgirlwanders
Upvotes	105
Comments	35
Date	April 11, 2020 7:11 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fzeyyc/thoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/thoughts.678556 https://theredarchive.com/post/678556

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