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softestbean
[–]PhoenixRisingAsapFDS Newbie346 points347 points348 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
How does someone even propose without having a basic idea of whether she will say yes? And I hate the concept of public proposals. Such an impersonal thing.
[–]irmmbrmyaccountFDS Newbie203 points204 points205 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's the point. They're hoping public attention will pressure them into saying yes. It's manipulative af.
[–]LevelTurbulentFDS Newbie89 points90 points91 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly! I used to think like this when I was younger, like she shouldn't "embarrass him" by saying no in front of all those people. But then as I got older I started realizing, why would you even do something like this unless you were really damn sure she was going to say yes? What kind of relationship is it if they haven't talked about the future and he's just randomly proposing in front of a crowd?
It's because he knows she doesn't want to marry him but he wants to manipulate her into feeling forced to say yes. And my blood ran cold at that realization.
[–]CB4lifeFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It can depend on the couple, some may like public proposals, but they should only be done if both people have actually had a conversation (or several!) about marriage, and you can be really sure the person is actually going to say yes. Otherwise it really is too risky, and I agree, can create a bad environment if it makes someone feel pressured to not be honest about their answer. Women are already told too many ways that it's our job to keep others from being embarrassed or having their feelings hurt, often at the sacrifice of our own feelings and autonomy, and that needs to stop.
[–]PhoenixRisingAsapFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Which is why my comment said I hate the idea of public proposals. And that it’s important to know beforehand what their answer will be which can only happen via communication.
[–]terriblyfishFDS Newbie299 points300 points301 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Make your proposal in private. Don't embarrass someone's daughter in public !!!
[–]TerryTerrorCOFDS Newbie61 points62 points63 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
great comeback to this!
[–]beautysubthrowwFDS Newbie58 points59 points60 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I think public proposals can be fine if the couple is already informally engaged and the proposal is more the "official" announcement for their friends and family. But don't just spring something on her without discussing it first.
[–]AquaRetroFDS Newbie190 points191 points192 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Okay, then she returns the ring later and is a b**** for getting his hopes up and saying yes in the first place. Can't win.
[–]lionessbuttholeFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"She strung him along." "She was leading him on." "She just needed to communicate and be more understanding."
[–]onemoredaydreamFDS Newbie142 points143 points144 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why the hell does it matter that he is someones son?
[–]420snailmodeFDS Newbie68 points69 points70 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cuz man better than woman!1!!1!1
[–]sweetpotatocupcakeFDS Newbie119 points120 points121 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't manipulate someone's daughter.
[–]fastidiousadiposeThrowaway Account118 points119 points120 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I once had a guy friend who I used to like but got over him as we barely spoke. He embarrassed himself by calling me his gf and that we were gonna get married and have kids in the near future. He did this OUT OF NOWHERE at his friend couple's house. I was not responding and would scoot away when he would try to hug me. His friends (married to each other) cringed so hard and said to him , "please stop, you're embarrassing yourself. I feel bad for you 😬😬😬 shes clearly not interested, why would u say that"
He made us all uncomfortable AND THEY CALLED HIM OUT FOR IT .
That's how u handle a dilusional creep who doesnt care about your boundaries.
[–]idhavetochargeFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Its great they called him out. What bothers me is the 'kept doing it'. At that point I would hope they would kick him out instead.
[–]Nifteroni-and-CheeseFDS Newbie97 points98 points99 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
In high school I a guy I had maybe one class with in 4 years and had barely spoken to did like a huge public “promposal” for me and I got so much hate for saying no, like I literally didn’t know him but he got balloons so I was supposed to ditch my friend’s plans and go with him instead of a group of women I actually liked???
[–]taele1996FDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL sounds like it’s a now or never situation where he finally grew some balls to let you know he’s interested by asking you to prom. 🤦♀️🤦♀️ how awkward
[–]-captainhookFDS Newbie33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Forreal women get so much hate for making their own decisions and—god forbid—saying no to men. As if they’re entitled to women and can pick us out and choose us like a toy whether we want it or not. Just admit you don’t want women to have autonomy lol
[–]JustStudentingFDS Newbie77 points78 points79 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If anyone did this to me I'd be furious.
[–]godherselfhasenemiesFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
for real. propose at a MALL?! tacky af
[–]naivemelody473 points74 points75 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The day my ex did this, I had a feeling it was coming. I remember having so much anxiety about the situation, I threw up at work. He proposed to me in front of 30 of our closet family and friends. Even though he knew I had never wanted a public proposal. I was forced to say yes. When I ended the engagement I was the bad guy for saying yes in the first place.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg that’s awful! So much pressure especially when he knew you didn’t want a public engagement. Just goes to show how he didn’t listen to you, or care. So sorry you had to be the bad guy when ending it too. That’s so traumatic. You must’ve felt so trapped.
[–]MakeURegretFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg that’s my worst nightmare. Cause I know I would say yes in the moment just to get out of it.
My deepest sympathies that you had to go through that.
[–]lakelunaFDS Newbie63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
We always have to worry their feelings but ours are never taken into consideration.
[–]softestbeanFDS Newbie[S] 34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If we don’t worry about their feeling a lot of them get physical and hurt us badly. They don’t have the same concern mostly.
[–]lskfjd743FDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What kind of grown asses man needs his mommy to protect his fee-fees?
[–]moxymoxaloneFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He deserved what he got for being such an attention whore.
[–]ItsFreezenFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He was asking for it!
[–]gracefullrose30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If she accepts the ring then she should be able to return it to the store he bought it at and keep the refund. Don't return it to the scrote who set her up for public embarrassment.
[–]BabyGothQFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Someone’s son”
Is she not someone’s daughter?
Fuck outta here.
[–]ItsFreezenFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This called is manipulation Scrotes. Do you understand?
[–]sushiwalrusFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Is this in a fucking mall lololol
[–]Charming_Mix7930FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My parents are divorced because they grew appart. But their engagement (back in the 70s) was something they told us to set an example: they randomly decided to get married in the car, alone. They were discussing it for weeks, decided. Drove to stationary shop to buy a notebook and pens, went to a cafe, wrote a first draft, worked it for a week after, and then told everyone they were planning on getting married and these were their ideas.
Easy.
[–]MakeURegretFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The proposal should be the surprise, the engagement shouldn’t.
[–]queen-wannabeThrowaway Account10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’d say yes, go somewhere, pawn it. Then say I lost your ring! Also I don’t wanna get married to you. Or if I wanted to piss him off, I’d say that I sold it 😂
[–]catchaleafFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Public proposal. Public rejection. At least have a convo beforehand before you do this. Also we don’t know the full story what if he cheated, she said no previously, or something like that. I saw this on Twitter and everyone was like “never do someone’s son like this, say yes no matter what” , that’s so manipulative and puts unnecessary pressure on the girl.
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[–]PhoenixRisingAsapFDS Newbie346 points347 points348 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]irmmbrmyaccountFDS Newbie203 points204 points205 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LevelTurbulentFDS Newbie89 points90 points91 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CB4lifeFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PhoenixRisingAsapFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]terriblyfishFDS Newbie299 points300 points301 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TerryTerrorCOFDS Newbie61 points62 points63 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]beautysubthrowwFDS Newbie58 points59 points60 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AquaRetroFDS Newbie190 points191 points192 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lionessbuttholeFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]onemoredaydreamFDS Newbie142 points143 points144 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]420snailmodeFDS Newbie68 points69 points70 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sweetpotatocupcakeFDS Newbie119 points120 points121 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fastidiousadiposeThrowaway Account118 points119 points120 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]idhavetochargeFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nifteroni-and-CheeseFDS Newbie97 points98 points99 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]taele1996FDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]-captainhookFDS Newbie33 points34 points35 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]JustStudentingFDS Newbie77 points78 points79 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]godherselfhasenemiesFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]naivemelody473 points74 points75 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist44 points45 points46 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MakeURegretFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lakelunaFDS Newbie63 points64 points65 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]softestbeanFDS Newbie[S] 34 points35 points36 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lskfjd743FDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]moxymoxaloneFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ItsFreezenFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gracefullrose30 points31 points32 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BabyGothQFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ItsFreezenFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sushiwalrusFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Charming_Mix7930FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MakeURegretFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]queen-wannabeThrowaway Account10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]catchaleafFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link