When friends and relatives start listing things I need to change in order to be "successful" on a dating market

nebsemi · 2021-06-17T14:42:40+00:00

"men don't like -" I literally do not care. Do they care about what I like?

I used to tailor my personality and looks based on the men I'm interested in - I did not know what I liked and disliked because I tried to mirror the men I'm trying to pursue.

FDS helped me establish some concrete-ness to my personality. Having a fixed personality is an ongoing project for me.

lunarfulminate · 2021-06-17T18:05:28+00:00

Still remembering the fugly, unemployed mama's boy who told teenage me I needed to lose weight and get a tan. I didn't clap back then, but I still remember looking at his sweatsuit, bad haircut, bucktoothed overbite, and pimply skin, and wondering if I had time to list what he needed to do to become palatable.

hologothic · 2021-06-17T15:40:53+00:00

It's crazy how so many people still have an antiquated mindset, as if women HAVE to alter themselves. Getting a man to pay attention to you is not 'success'. It's not the 50's where women depended on men to be the sole provider and tolerated everything out of self-preservation.

beatriixkiido · 2021-06-17T15:40:29+00:00

My new favorite thing to do is call out abuse towards women on the front page of reddit. Scrotes lose their minds trying to protect each others bad behavior.

PrincessAmour · 2021-06-17T17:19:46+00:00

I'm 16 and I'm so happy I found this sub because I was thinking about what man would want me and now I'm thinking about what college I'm going to in 2 years

CloacaDiddler · 2021-06-17T15:32:25+00:00

Men fuck foods, animals, and inanimate objects routinely. I could give a rat’s ass if their dick stands up for me. Don’t tell me “what men like” because thousands are going to hate the color of my nail polish and thousands are going to only be able to get it up for that color in particular. Turning a man on is not an achievement, in fact it almost makes me feel gross like eww…you just wanked that thing to a 12 year old anime waifu and now you want to say it likes me too?

MelancholyMushroom · 2021-06-17T12:55:50+00:00

This is so cute, I made this my phone’s wallpaper.

modernmedusaa · 2021-06-17T21:18:05+00:00

Men: constantly cheat , lie, abuse, humiliate, hurt and degrade women- constantly defend /encourage men who do this and gaslight us on our experiences.

Also men: LiTeRaLLy nobody gives a fuck about men REEEE we are the most oppressed and ignored group wah wah suck my pornsick cheating STI infested dick- shutup & tolerate my abuse or else I’ll off myself and blame you wah fucking wah wahhhh whinge wahhh

FDS : puts men on mute and loudly states our unapologetic standards- actively warns women of the manosphere training armies of men to abuse and manipulate us better

Men: REEEEEEEE how dare women think they’re entitled to respect & defend themselves I’m such a nIcE FUCKING gUy👹 women should let me use them as interchangeable porn dolls and give me free therapy to stroke my narcissistic ego.

possumeggs · 2021-06-17T21:40:46+00:00

When I was looking at houses after my divorce, a friend told me that I should look at condos instead, because “having your own house will probably be too intimidating to most guys.”

Yeah, and none of those “most guys” are ones I wanted anything to do with.

BxGyrl416 · 2021-06-17T21:31:48+00:00

I used to spend a lot of time reading magazines and books about how to meet “the one,” how to attract guys, what to do/not do. Then it dawned on me that I’d wasted a lot of time and that if somebody was going to want a relationship with me, it was because he liked who I really was or else it would never last.

Young women’s magazine bombard them with messages – often conflicting - about men’s likes and dislikes, what she should and shouldn’t wear to “get him,” and just general encouragement of investing so much time on men. I’m glad I’m past that age and shudder at what dating must be like now for younger women.

CynicalSucculent · 2021-06-17T16:56:58+00:00

Or when scrotes/pickmeishas tell you that your standards are too high to get a man..

Fucking good. I'd rather have no company than shit company. That's another W for me.

paperwasp3 · 2021-06-17T19:07:03+00:00

Soooooooo good!

melonmagellan · 2021-06-17T18:01:56+00:00

The most respectful thing a man can do, that actually cares about you, is make it clear his attraction to you is based as much on who you are as what you look like.

Other than that, meh. Like someone else here said, men will fuck a melon if they're horny enough.

Amazing_Wolverine_37 · 2021-06-17T17:08:44+00:00

Men like me a whole lot when I'm bumpin in my car with my pure feminine energy, listening almost exclusively to vocalists who identify as female. Then we get to talking and they realize I have a master's degree and plan on going back, and their eyes glaze over...... Boy BYE!!

Condom-Ad-Don-Draper · 2021-06-17T19:42:44+00:00

When I went on vacation I didn’t wear a bikini. I’m too old for that — not because I don’t look decent or I’m super overweight, but because to me it’s somewhat silly. I want to wear a one piece and a classy lace coverup and a big floppy hat and sunglasses. No makeup, maybe red lipstick/stain. There were tons of women, even some old enough to be my mom or grandma, m I’m in my 30s btw, in skimpy bikinis, the kind that barely cover your ass.

I thought it would detour unwanted male attention. But guess what? Men have a Madonna whore complex and if you’re modest they want to “sully” you. Young guys want a MILF because dudes think it’s a badge of honor. Pick mes think it’s an insult because you’re not competing, you’re just doing you, which always attracts attention because men can sense when you’re not going to waste time on them, and it simultaneously threatens them and turns them on, because in porn classy women always give in and agree to whatever gross porn money shot.

The pick mes can’t stand when you are alone, pay for yourself, handle your liquor well, bring a book or listen to music, chat with the female wait staff or bar tenders, and generally just focus on having a good day vacationing at the beach or hotel pool instead of trying to prove you’re the alpha female good at being desirable. That’s fine, be the alpha female. I’ll be the queen bee, except I don’t want your honey, honey. (Pickmes often call other women hon, honey, dear etc., when they’re intimidated by you. Except women who genuinely have a nurturing vibe, who clearly don’t give a shit about what men think of her.)

Title	When friends and relatives start listing things I need to change in order to be "successful" on a dating market
Author	aoi4eg
Upvotes	2333
Comments	51
Date	June 17, 2021 11:32 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/o1v24b/when_friends_and_relatives_start_listing_things_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-friends-and-relatives-start-listing-things-i.784717 https://theredarchive.com/post/784717

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