We need to stop associating men with not knowing how to clean up after themselves and almost expecting them to have a messy/unkempt living space.

The immaturity and laziness it takes for guys houses to be dirty is unacceptable. It is a huge red flag and shows he has no respect for his home, guests in his home, a serene environment, organisation and ease of living, or productivity.

If you roll up to a mans place for the first time and he has dishes piled up all over the house, shoes and clothes laying around, mounds of dirty laundry scattered, a toilet that has never met a toilet brush, his bed isn’t made or doesn’t even look clean, food containers sitting around, a general overall ‘bad smell’, you need to HEAVILY EVALUATE. Having a slightly messy home on occasion is different, but if this is his lifestyle then girl... run.

It does not take much to keep a small space to an average standard. If he has a big home then he can afford a cleaner. Some men may not have an eye for design which is a completely different story. Respect for your living environment is basic and a very, very fair expectation to have.

Men who can’t grasp this concept exist simply because their mothers took care of everything when they were growing up and they are waiting for a partner to take over her role. You will be that woman. His new mother/maid.

If they claim their job prevents them from tidying, they are LYING AND LAZY. If you do actually work too much, use those hard earned funds to get a cleaner in for a few hours a week. Full time job does not = living in filth. They will expect free labour from a partner otherwise.

If they don’t care about the house standard now, they will never appreciate when/if you do it in the future. In their mind it will be a simple task that you could probably juggle with your own job and the children.

If he has nothing in his home, that is also a red flag. Adults have possessions. Minimalism is different. A mattress on the floor with a loose sheet on it, tv balanced on the box it came in and 2 plates in the cupboard? HELL NO!