"ENOUGH" - UK Gov pulls a Gillette (yes, another one)

DifferenceThat8887 · 2022-10-27T01:33:48+00:00

It gets to me so much constantly seeing things I have had done to me by women shown in this way as something only men do (The controlling abuse one in this case). I don't mind that the example shown is male abuser because I can sympathise just as much with female victims it's just the way it's so clearly targeted at men.

And if I raise this anywhere that isn't this subreddit I know the response will be condescending feminists telling me to get therapy like i'm somehow in the wrong just for commenting about an issue that has defined my adult life and left me with ptsd.

sakura_drop · 2022-10-26T19:04:38+00:00

The video linked in my OP is dated as being uploaded in March earlier this year, but I only just saw the ad on TV last night for the first time. This one is almost exactly like the now infamous Gillette ad.

Here is a link to the campaign site, which claims the following:

This website talks about abuse towards women and girls, but the support offered here is available to all victims.

However, between the total focus on the former and my general cynicism, all I can say is press X for doubt. Some excerpts from the 'What is abuse?' page:

Abuse can happen to anyone, but we know these behaviours disproportionately affect women and girls.

Additional forms of abuse

These can include:

Female genital mutilation

And on the 'Worried about your behaviour?' page, which features an image of a man (one of two, the other being 'Reporting abuse'):

It’s never easy to admit when we’ve crossed a line or overstepped the mark. But if you can think of a situation when your behaviour has upset, embarrassed, hurt, controlled or coerced someone - whether someone you know or a stranger - be honest with yourself. It’s the first step to making a change for the better.

We’re not only talking about deliberate acts of serious violence. Abuse takes many forms – verbal, emotional, sexual and physical. Some people don’t recognise the impact this behaviour can have on the person who experiences it. Or that many of these behaviours could be criminal.

Virtually all of the bullet points use gendered language. And on the 'Changing for the better' page:

Put yourself in their place

Always treat women and girls as your equal, not as people to be controlled or treated like their feelings don’t matter.

Accept that women and girls don’t appreciate acts you might not recognise as wrong, e.g. making sexually explicit comments towards them in the street. At best, it’s embarrassing, and at worst, it can be intimidating or frightening.

Give women and girls space on the street, or on a train or bus. Women are often on constant alert in public spaces, so this can help them feel safer.

Don’t assume that you’re entitled to sex - you’re not. Having sex without consent is sexual assault or rape. Consent can only be given with a clear and enthusiastic ‘yes’. Anything else – including silence – is a ‘no’ that must be respected.

Don’t think porn is how sex should be. Just as films are not real life, porn is not real sex. It often shows damaging behaviour towards women, without mutual consent or communication.

This is a piece on the campaign by the Home Secretary which was also posted in March.

The campaign includes television adverts, billboards, social media and radio advertising and will highlight different forms of violence against women and girls and the simple acts that anyone can take to challenge perpetrators of abuse. Forms of violence against women and girls (VAWG) represented include street harassment, coercive control, unwanted touching, workplace harassment, revenge-porn and cyber-flashing.

Note the acronym.

Home Secretary Priti Patel said:

"For too long, the responsibility of keeping safe has been placed on the shoulders of women and girls. This campaign says enough, and recognises it is on all of us to demand major societal change. Everyone has a stake in this."

Deputy Chief Constable Maggie Blyth said:

"The last year has seen some tragic and shocking incidences of violence against women and girls. There have been abhorrent examples of abuse or misogyny by police officers."

"We have a good plan for change in policing to better protect women and girls from violence and root out misogyny in our own ranks. Experts in the VAWG sector have helped shape it and all forces are implementing it. I will review progress to ensure we are delivering as well as enabling others to scrutinise our progress."

"The government’s decision to make tackling violence against women and girls a strategic policing requirement reinforces the commitment already made by police chiefs to prioritise making women and girls safer."

In the interest of fairness, there is an option for 'Support services for men and boys' on the 'Get support' page which links to the following services:

The Survivors Trust
Male Survivors Partnership
Men’s Advice Line - Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men
1in6
ManKind Initiative
Survivors UK
The National Male Survivor Helpline and Online Service

However, I can't vouch for any of them. I know that some members here and on the other associated subs have investigated various services that claim to help male victims but don't actually follow through, so...

I recommend reading through the whole page and not just the quoted excerpts I have provided.

hshsgdve · 2022-10-27T01:30:28+00:00

Severity of physical violent outcomes in domestic situations is on average more severe for women than men. That should definitely be acknowledged and dealt with appropriately. Men need to really be aware of their capacity to do harm and learn to be more in control of themselves because of this risk, especially physically.

What I found amazing, well, I think “felt absolute despair” is a better description, is when I was in a non-reciprocally violent relationship, and I tried find help, the message was:

You are not meeting her emotional needs, that’s why she’s violent; here is how you can be a better listener.
These resources aren’t for you, there are other resources. Every “resource” said this…
Minimisation. It wasn’t really domestic violence. “She threw item X at you, and it only hit you on the stomach, not the head.”
“She was just angry” or “haha yeah, she’s a handful”. This came mostly from her family, who witnessed it.
“She’s crying, therefore you’re abusing her”. It was ALWAYS flipped on it’s head. She would yell and scream for a while, I would eventually yell back 30 mins later, and that yelling back was all that was talked about.

I still find myself questioning whether it was abusive because when so many people are telling you it’s not in this case, even though it meets all the markers of abuse, it’s really difficult to judge.

So yeah, some gender neutral resources would have been really helpful.

orion-7 · 2022-10-27T00:54:53+00:00

I got an advert "worried about abusive behaviour?"

I clicked it, because yes, I am worried. I have a family member in an abusive situation and want to help him.

The link led to that website. Basically saying "admitting you have a problem is the first t step"

No you fuckers, I'm trying to stop a woman abusing a man , not myself.

Found my way through the site to "help a victim" and it was all for women and girls

Brandwein · 2022-10-27T01:37:23+00:00

Men are not responsible how perpetrators behave and have no need to step in and put themselves in harms way. Anyone can offer support afterwards though, true.

Codoro · 2022-10-28T17:54:49+00:00

Ever notice in videos like this it's exclusively the white guys being used as the example of what not to do while their chill black friend calmly explains how they're wrong?

RockmanXX · 2022-10-28T11:00:23+00:00

"We can change how our mates talk to women"

Interesting, but i do not hang out with cat-calling douchebags from cheesy 80's movies lol

"Show me the messages, give me the phone"

Okay, how is this "coercive control"? you don't know the context! Maybe something really serious is going on there and who's to say that only men do this? Women can be just as insecure&controlling as Men, in fact i know way more controlling women than controlling Men.

Support is avaiable

Yeaah, but us guys don't wanna be seen as a "Creepy". So sorry girls, as we Men can "Creep" women out by approaching them like that, we're just not gonna do it. Even in the ad, you only used women "offering" women help, that only further proves my point. A random man offering a woman help is "Creepy" isn't it?

We can show that sexual assault isn't acceptable

Yeah, but the example you've used is clearly that of a drunk guy. Alcohol makes people do stupid shit, so if you're trying to be ANTI-Alcohol , i guess this ad works?

We can Stop violence against Women&Girls

What about violence against men&boys? Are boys not human?

gratis_eekhoorn · 2022-10-27T09:23:41+00:00

UK government is an enemy of men

Valoxity-_- · 2022-10-27T08:42:14+00:00

Yes because most men on this planet lack the basic sense of morality to understand that this sort of leering/ catcalling behaviour is wrong, and are purely controlled by their insane lust towards the opposite sex. /s

Maffioze · 2022-10-27T12:09:29+00:00

I'm so tired of this shit.

lbgravy · 2022-10-27T14:23:45+00:00

I always wonder about the political calculus here.

Do they really think that the number of women who have suffered an uncomfortable cat-call is greater than the number of women who have succumbed to a successful cat-call, had a good time, and look forward to the next time?

Who cat-calls anyway? Everything's done online nowadays. That guy might as well have sounded a wolf-whistle. This ad could only effectively improve the behavior of television actors who play groups of sexist construction workers.

Feminist ideology has actually convinced liberals the world over that anyone actually believes this crap. That or its just really aggressive lobbying efforts by eccentric billionaires.

2022-10-26T18:38:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Current_Finding_4066 · 2023-08-04T09:29:14+00:00

To top it all off, the black man opposed a white man. We all know white men are the worst! The absolute worst! /s

Title	"ENOUGH" - UK Gov pulls a Gillette (yes, another one)
Author	sakura_drop
Upvotes	107
Comments	95
Date	October 26, 2022 6:38 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/ye5g56/enough_uk_gov_pulls_a_gillette_yes_another_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/enough-uk-gov-pulls-a-gillette-yes-another-one.1137223 https://theredarchive.com/post/1137223

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