Being a good guy in this generation isn’t worth it

NoCombination7932 · 2023-11-04T02:34:29+00:00

please stay how you are, but make sure to take care of yourself first. your priorities and needs matter first just as much as your psychical and mental health being important. it's best not to look for a women right now, a good one with just as good values as you will approach you first and lead you in the right path.

good luck and amen.

r_c2999 · 2023-11-04T01:12:41+00:00

try your best to stick to your morals and values. I see a lot of boys and young men say this especially because of women but also because morality is eroding in society. Try your best to not let the world break you.

Build your resilience as much as you can and that comes by tending to your emotional health, enhancing your philosophical knowledge, and taking care of your physical health. Put yourself in places, hobbies, initiatives, etc. that align with your morals. A strong sense of self and self awareness will take you a far way. Working on both will take you a far way. The world needs more people like you man, hang in there. One day you can lead an initiative of your own that provides young men like yourself with the tools they need.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2023-11-04T04:14:34+00:00

Uh, dating women is problematic whether you're a good guy or not. The really smart move is to be a good guy who's MGTOW. But if you must date, keep your guard up with the women you date. In other words, be a good guy all of the time, EXCEPT with the women you're dating. No need to be a jerk with them, but be very guarded.

mrmensplights · 2023-11-04T04:20:54+00:00

Say this out loud and realize how utterly pathetic it sounds: "I liked who I was but I changed so that women who I consider to have bad judgement would like me." Sound absurd, right? Imagine growing old not knowing who you are because you molded yourself into an insubstantial mask in order to appeal to women. That's a recipe for quiet desperation in mid life followed by crippling regret.

Here's the thing: Fuck them anyway. You don't need to appeal to women. You just need to appeal to one woman - as your authentic self. You should be happy to discard the losers so you can get closer to the winner.

Life is going to beat the shit out of you in ways you'll have no control over enough as it is. No need to force it.

hwjk1997 · 2023-11-04T16:31:33+00:00

Nothing dries them up more than being a decent person.

EarnMeowShower · 2023-11-04T05:18:15+00:00

There was once a time when being the gallant knight got you the princess, now it just gets you skull fucked. No thanks.

kitterkatty · 2023-11-04T09:56:19+00:00

It really is true that you die a hero or live long enough to become a (harmless) villain, at least in the sense of enjoying when others reap what they sow. Only naive people with nothing but their pride to lose can afford to be idealistic. Everyone else has been too betrayed or misused to have any faith left. Every ancient sweet person I’ve known had a core of steel once you get them talking about what they’ve learned in their life. Living just to see karma happen to their haters and enemies lol even if they wouldn’t ever stoop to take revenge in any way, just watching the universe and awful people’s own crappy behavior dole it out.

One of my grandpa’s favorite sayings was vengeance belongs to the lord but oh to be thy hand extended lmao. He was joking but it’s an understandable feeling. I’m an atheist so it’s all just watching it play out. Kind of funny how bad news gets through the grapevine about assholes even if you don’t seek it out.

Dionysis_x · 2023-11-04T07:48:25+00:00

You can be a good person without acting preferential to women.

Valus22 · 2023-11-04T06:33:04+00:00

Truer words have never been spoken brother. To add to that: according to feminists, there are no actually good guys. Apparently all of the good guys are just faking it to get pussy, which they claim to be “entitled” to.

Suspicious-Sleep5227 · 2023-11-04T07:10:40+00:00

Just remember the reason for being a good guy is because it is the right thing to do. It has very little to do with dating. I’m sure it counts for something with women, but it’s probably nowhere near the highest priority even if they might openly say otherwise.

TheWinterNights · 2023-11-04T12:36:30+00:00

Not going philosophical or something, but "good" is varying quite wildly.

But my hot take is - it never was. And that is the point. What makes a truly good person a good person is that they do it for doing it. Not to get validation by anyone - including women. You don't expect a return. You do it because it is right.

That part isn't the problem though. The problem is people have not really been taught how to be that.

Being tolerant towards intolerance isn't being good.

Having no boundaries and being a pushover stepping stone for everyone, isn't the same as telling the dude at the festival in front of you "hey man, you dropped your wallet - here it is".

Giving up your relaxing gaming Saturday evening to meet your sister so she can talk about you how ABC is going bad isn't the same as being a permanent personal-problem-trash-bin for some people (be it man or women) you really barely know.

You get the idea.

When it comes to women, if you make "being good" your center personality of course it won't work out.

Sure there is room for that, once she earned it, but if that is what you are leading with it can't work, because you clearly do not know how to deal with women and relationships in general.

Not blaming people who tried and got the proverbial blood nose and broken hearts. Someone either mentors and teaches you, or you will learn through pain.

Don't be an idiot and become bitter though - drinking poison and expecting your adversaries to die and all that. Instead look out for proper experienced peers and learn. Don't stagnate in desperation and do the world the favor of wageslaving in silence until you can be shipped of to minimum pension assisted dying centers - find something to walk towards instead.

Sitheral · 2023-11-04T11:48:43+00:00

Being what you are not isn't worth it. There is no greatest pleasure than being yourself, completely indifferent on if it pays off or not and discovering suddenly that it does.

PM_40 · 2023-11-04T18:43:07+00:00

Being a good guy is considered doormat. Women ironically crave toxic masculinity. Look at how popular 50 shades of gray is.

KrazyJazz · 2023-11-04T08:27:38+00:00

Be good to you first. Unconditionally. Then try to be good with others. Selectively. And very selectively when it comes to women.

mechengmasterrace · 2023-11-04T03:12:24+00:00

Being a piece of shit only gets you more pussy, doesn't help you find a stable and fulfilling life partner. Pick whichever you want, either way is fine. It's your life, only you get to choose what you want.

Existing-Sell-3675 · 2023-11-04T11:19:41+00:00

I've been in the same boat, but ultimately, one should never compromise on personal morals. It's the only thing keeping society from completely breaking down. I get where you are coming from, but only sleazy women do that. I get that they prey on "nice guys", but men also have the responsibly of vetting the kind of women they associate with. Observe their mannerisms and watch how they treat people who are not as privileged. That will tell you a lot about them.

HyakuBikki · 2023-11-04T18:22:27+00:00

No good deed goes unpunished.

Illustrious_Bus9486 · 2023-11-04T09:45:08+00:00

You can be a good guy without putting the woman on a pedestal. A man should never put a woman on a pedestal. He should always be prepared to walk away.

TrafalgarLaw2023 · 2023-11-04T08:22:34+00:00

Continue to be a person with good morals, however simply do not get involved with modern women. They'll really test those morals and may corrupt you. Almost happened to me a few times. So yeah, like the other posters have said, you can maintain those morals while going MGTOW. Also those morals can help you call our female false accusations, manipulation, and other narcissistic bullshit when you see it. Condoning these women's psychopathic bully behavior towards men and also towards each other does not align with any proper moral compass.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-11-04T12:49:46+00:00

Be a good guy because you’re a good guy, not because you want to attract women

ra7388 · 2023-11-04T14:06:50+00:00

One part of me wants to tell you ,VEHEMENTLY, "Start the change, TODAY! Become THAT asshole, it shall be worth it!" I see assholes with zero commonsense and values and virtues being the winners. So, better change!

However, staying true to yourself and improving your self with discipline, as I am trying to do, and succeeding, will affect the kindset as well and you will start understanding the motivstions and cheapened existence gives me great joy, now, that I am not like them.

I hope that I could enunciate my feelings, cogently enough.

WeepingWillow_Lotus · 2023-11-04T22:21:37+00:00

I am so sorry you went through that. I didn’t date at all in high school. And I am still friends with my guy friend from there. I have never once looked down on him. He is an amazing person, he has his own struggles. There are people who do care, just more rare I guess. I would like to believe that is not true.

You sound like a sweetheart and I wish the best for you. Keep being your wonderful self.

UWontHearMeAnyway · 2023-11-05T04:49:12+00:00

As someone with a naturally warm heart, here's what I've learned:

Learn appropriate boundaries. This means you'll have to get used to taking the cold approach, with people that are simply there to take. I recommend reading the book boundaries. Don't let people gaslight (or really use any toxic method out there) in order to manipulate you into giving more than needed. They are your resources (time, money, energy, etc). So, keep them.

BECAUSE when you save your resources, protecting them from takers, then that means you'll have far more available for those that deserve it.

Which leads to: don't be afraid to open up. Fear opening up to the wrong people. But, opening up to the right people is how we are designed, as human beings. As you'll learn from healthy boundaries, being vulnerable is healthy, but only in a safe place. So many people in general learn the wrong ways. They learn the wrong lessons from being hurt. To close off to everyone is stupid. Makes you a ticking time bomb. But, opening up to wrong people takes everything from you. Pretty much the same results. Learn how to recognize other healthy people, and stay healthy yourself. Don't become toxic yourself, in efforts of protecting yourself. But also don't be afraid to shut people down, when they are taking too much (one sided relationships).

The harsh reality is that you'll have to be cold towards those you are near, if they are toxic. Then switch on the warmth, once it is healthy to. That's the only way to truly protect yourself in today's world. Especially for a guy in today's dating world.

I guess my parents raised me right but with all the things going on, I don’t think I’ll ever stay the same for the next 10 years.

Raising right also means teaching healthy boundaries. Giving, kindness, etc, is great. Never lose that. But, setting healthy boundaries is just as crucial. Today's dating world will take you for everything you have. So, don't let them. The more you allow others to steal from you, the more you'll change, in bad ways.

But, setting healthy boundaries means you'll have what you need in abundance, for those that are healthy for you as well.

naturalirnawt · 2023-11-04T04:34:19+00:00

Dating is scary. Women need to treat all men as potential serial killers. But men need to treat all women as potential false accusers.

Sad-Independence9797 · 2023-11-04T03:37:20+00:00

It’s the circle everybody is stuck in. Being too nice means your heart gets played, and now you’re mean in somebody else book and they turn mean cuz u played their heart

Stand_kicker · 2023-11-04T04:26:33+00:00

It is

Z1ayer · 2023-11-04T15:52:50+00:00

Be good for yourself! What you do changes you. Don't become something you don't like just to get some action

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-11-04T13:19:30+00:00

Well that’s why we used to have Sky Fairy religion (some places still do they don’t have Our problem but Bigger Other Ones ) and Feudal Overlords. Fear of Hell (any) and Flaying kept base instincts for the masses under a modicum of control. Only a handful got laid fed clothed or entertained beyond their due apart from wartime or carnival.

We’ve swapped that for Lord Elon, onlyfantwitter Simpism and Fear of NotbeingtheMainCharacter

Our hardware/software 🧠 is from the Stoneage our equipment and society changed .. give it a few millennia to catch up

DaJosuave · 2023-11-04T14:43:04+00:00

Well first make sure you actually are a good person.

Then try as hard as you can, though it's rare to find a woman who is like that. Tbh they might not look the way you want then to, but it's worth it to love a person for who they are (not potential).

BasicsofPain · 2023-11-04T16:16:31+00:00

IDK man. The nice guy argument is a tough one. Like, what is a nice guy anyway? I would submit the current definition is a man who caters to women, trying endlessly to gain the favor of those women.

Is that really a “nice guy?” I would suggest, using that definition, those guys are actually douche bags. Using “niceness” as a means to get something in return, from a woman, is devious and dishonest. And most women can actually sniff that out pretty quickly.

Well, where does that leave us and what is a “nice guy” really. I think we have to begin with two questions.

1) What is a more useful and pragmatic definition of “nice guy?” 2) When and how should men employ said niceness?

How about we redefine “nice guy” as a man who has spent the necessary time developing himself financially, physically and spiritually so that those things are desired and beneficial to himself first.

Now that said man has spent time on himself and has his own situation under control, he should protect his situation at all costs. Offering the benefits of his hard work to the very few people, and even fewer women, who have shown, over time, to fit into the world the man has created for himself.

That is actual “nice guy” behavior employed with no deception, ulterior motives and actually benefits, not only women, but the world overall.

I’m sure I’m going to get blown up over this rant but just step back and give it a chance.

No-Cable7745 · 2023-11-04T09:05:48+00:00

I don’t think good and evil are necessarily a thing. Being a good guy, I think, meant to win approval from the people around you. Not being one meant not wanting or caring about said approval. So you could choose your societal standing.

JDBtabouret · 2023-11-04T13:50:04+00:00

You just described the difference between a good guy, and a "good guy", people who act nice just to get something in return.

Lopsi6789 · 2023-11-04T13:08:33+00:00

What is a good guy anyways

Frird2008 · 2023-11-05T10:09:20+00:00

If you have to change who you are (at your core) just to attract more people, those people were never attracted to you in the first place.

I know it's a harsh reality to grasp, but I nearly fell into the same mindset way back when.

Now I'm dead set on sticking to the core of my being no matter how hard it gets so I can attract the right people even if it's a miniscule subset of the people I would have otherwise been able to attract had I abandoned the true core of my being for a more socially desirable one.

smoishymoishes · 2023-11-05T12:05:14+00:00

being a good guy, with a good heart, will only make me vulnerable to women who’ll only use me

Then quit wasting your good on ho-bags.

What that should have taught you is how to be more discerning, not to be cold and bitter towards every human with a set of ovaries.

You can share the good you have, you just need to quit sharing it with every gal who looks your way thinkin she might be the one. The "one" isn't called the "many" because she's easy to find. Ha-durr.

Title	Being a good guy in this generation isn’t worth it
Author	OpeningVermicelli405
Upvotes	270
Comments	86
Date	November 4, 2023 12:49 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/17n9wfk/being_a_good_guy_in_this_generation_isnt_worth_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/being-a-good-guy-in-this-generation-isnt-worth-it.1237300 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237300

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