dating issues we can all agree on (i think)

gntlbastard · 2023-09-27T03:30:17+00:00

Being overly possessive about someone's sexual past is bad. It screams insecurity and regressive views.

On the contrary it's a terrific indicator of the type of person you are interacting with. Starting with impulse control and how much self respect a person has. Women like to claim that they did that in their 20's and now in their 30's they are no longer like that. When in reality the bullshit claim that she is now the good girl is the mask. People do not change that drastically so when one tells you who she is, believe her.

sine120 · 2023-09-27T00:38:01+00:00

People in similar socioeconomic classes stick together. This is just a fact

Plenty of people date outside their socioeconomic class. Sure it helps to be similar but they aren't some collective that's agreed to "stick together".

Being overly possessive about someone's sexual past is bad. It screams insecurity and regressive views

What is "overly possessive"? Is this some subjective thing you're the authority on? If we can all agree on it, then why would it matter what time period we're having the discussion in?

Zevemty · 2023-09-27T12:22:20+00:00

The dating market tells you what you are worth. If a 5 has never been interested in you, chances are you're not a 5.

I agree that the dating market tells you what you are worth, but only if you've had decent exposure to it, and most actors on it are rational. For example a man who is on Tinder and can't get any interest at all doesn't mean he's a 1, he might even be a 5. It's just that he gets a flawed exposure to the dating market through Tinder, and that many women on Tinder act irrationally by going for (and failing to get) people above their value.

synaps-bro · 2023-09-27T00:50:44+00:00

The term dating market is the stupidest thing I have heard

RonMexico432 · 2023-09-27T01:32:10+00:00

Most people have unrealistic expectations. Not just women. Guys have the exact same delusions.

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-09-27T00:45:00+00:00

The dating market tells you what you are worth.

No, it does not.

If I grew up going on luxurious vacations everywhere, why would I marry someone who has never left the state? What would we have in common?

Music, books, movies, values, food, all the other areas beyond travel....

obviousredflag · 2023-09-27T07:55:09+00:00

The dating market tells you what you are worth. If a 5 has never been interested in you, chances are you're not a 5.

Depends on if it's a relative scale or an "absolute" one. So either regarding the whole population, or just the relevant sub-population in which you have those experiences. For online dating, the sex ratio makes it so the value of the scarcer sex is increased for the sub-population of online dating. A 5-woman on online dating is more desired than a 5-woman in the real world, at least when it comes to casual sex.

I agree with the rest of your advice.

throaway2s1fsfsf4 · 2023-09-27T07:05:04+00:00

The biggest issue about the dating market to me is that men have to do the first move to have a chance. If I was bi or gay, finding a bf would be much easier than finding a gf is because men are much more forward than women. You can ask any woman who has tried to date both men and women to confirm this.

So basically shy, introverted, meek, not very attractive guys like myself get fucked by how the dating market works.

It's like if to find a job I needed to be charismatic and approach companies to convince them to hire me, I would have had such a hard time finding a job then. But instead I just had to send some CV or even just sign up to an agency company who sent CV for me and then show up to the interview and answer some questions to get hired. It was a piece of cake really for all 3 jobs I had so far.

Some-Parsnip-1551 · 2023-09-27T00:53:09+00:00

If you're a virgin woman, nothing sexual , no dates , family driven then you're a 10. Each year that passes for a virgin her grading drops by .1. So a 28 yr old virgin can still technically be a 9.

Now if you're 18 and getting run through in your 20s and 30s then you're grading drops much faster. For every body you lose 3-4 rating points on top of the yearly .1 depreciation. This rating is capped at 3 so once a woman reaches 3 it will go no lower and will always remain static.

It's quite sad to see and 18yr old can go from a 10 to a 6 in just one casual session.

BeReady6129 · 2023-09-27T01:48:21+00:00

The dating market tells you what you are worth. If a 5 has never been interested in you, chances are you're not a 5. Of course, this isn't only about looks. It's about your prospects and personality as well. So many issues in the dating world happen because average women blow off average men, without realizing they are also average, or grossly obese, weird man only feel they can go after models they have nothing in common with. Unfortunately, a lot of you are worse in more ways than you think.

Not really an 5 woman would get interest from a higher valued men, but he won't commit to her.

-People in similar socioeconomic classes stick together. This is just a fact. A lot of the idea that women are income-hunting is just not true. https://www.nber.org/digest/may14/assortative-mating-and-income-inequality

That is not supported it though, say all women are income hunting though. how would they all achieve it though? There is supply and demand, you can conclude some women achieve it while others don't. Women are competing for these high income men though, not all of them can achieve it.

-Hating the gender you want to date is bad. It's bad karma and just weird. Healthy relationships don't come from this

A lot of claims women nature is not hating, it is being interpreted that way. Recognize it and accept it, no need to hate.

-Being overly possessive about someone's sexual past is bad. It screams insecurity and regressive views. Some people can tolerate that. I cannot.

Women tend to be very critical of a man upfront, men tend to be more critical on the backend for relationship.

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cactusbeam777 · 2023-09-27T03:17:37+00:00

-The dating market tells you what you are worth. If a 5 has never been interested in you, chances are you're not a 5.

It's more nuanced than that. Just because some hot drunk guy was horny and had sex with you doesn't make that your league. As a guy you can't judge based on who is "interested in you" since women who actively pursue you are generally beneath you. Some people are insecure or lack self esteem and stay with mediocre people when they could actually do way better. But if you've dated a lot and had a lot of long term relationships then you should have a better idea of your worth based on whoever stuck around the longest.

-People in similar socioeconomic classes stick together. This is just a fact. A lot of the idea that women are income-hunting is just not true.

Similar socioeconomic class doesn't mean similar income though. Every woman I've been in a serious relationship grew up middle class and went to college, but I made more money than all of them. "Income hunting" isn't just about gold diggers marrying billionaires but a woman who grew up UMC and gets a UMC career herself but then finds a guy who can afford to support her as a SAHM when she does a slow fade on her career after having kids.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-09-27T04:29:02+00:00

It's unclear how much inflated female standards are impacting the overall SMP; inflated male standards would definitely have even less of an impact.

The problem with the male argument that women SHOULD be pairing with their SMV rank equals is that it assumes that in objective terms a 50th rank female and male are on the same level. Maybe they are not. It also assumes that women have bought into the idea that we must maintain high male-female pairing rates. Many women see this history of high pairing rates as illegitimate evidence of what is right or natural as in their minds these pairing rates were forced on women by men abusing their greater physical power.

Most women are refusing to look at the big picture and feel that mating is only an individual concern. But if they did somehow have to comment on the big picture, the above is something like what they would say. Check your priors.

ElectricalDufus · 2023-09-27T05:21:36+00:00

Your last point is completely opinionated. That would be like me saying it’s bad for women to only date men a certain height, except you can control your sexual past (barring actual abuse) and not so much your height.

It’s not wrong for men to want someone more historically reserved in their intimacy.

purpledaggers · 2023-09-27T15:53:35+00:00

Women should definitely approach more and initiate more. I don't see any genuine downsides to society encouraging women to be more direct in saying "I like you." Women currently play way too hard to get sometimes and that is a downside.
Men should be more emotionally direct especially sharing positive feelings they're having.

Title	dating issues we can all agree on (i think)
Author	10throwawayantsy
Upvotes	9
Comments	85
Date	September 27, 2023 12:32 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16t5ego/dating_issues_we_can_all_agree_on_i_think/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-issues-we-can-all-agree-on-i-think.1233149 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233149

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