"Standards" are largely irrelevant, because the market tells you how desirable you are

ask_johnny_mac · 2023-03-23T15:22:07+00:00

The market generally sets the standards for you, but it’s not a perfectly efficient marketplace. I’ve had women end things after a couple dates who were pretty clearly the right ‘level’ but for whatever reason they weren’t into me. That said, if you never go on any dates because no one interested in you ‘meets your standards’, you will have to decide at some point whether to lower your standards or be alone with high standards.

skyrimpill · 2023-03-23T15:52:42+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11wmlgf/the_wall_does_not_exist/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Obese 69 year old grannies are more desirable than healthy weight 20 year old men.

h1shman · 2023-03-23T16:21:03+00:00

This was true before online dating gave women inflated perceptions of their value. An average girl can get hundreds of matches. An average man gets table scraps. Admittedly most men’s profiles are dogshit. (Edit: pm me honestly really enjoy helping guys with their profile)

I’m the dude who gets 250 likes in the first 24hrs on OLD. I’m not sure I’ve ever even gone on a date with a woman who was on my level attractiveness except outside the US. However I didn’t have a problem attracting these women IRL.

So at minimum the market of OLD where a lot of people date nowadays has totally deluded most women.

wtknight · 2023-03-23T15:12:36+00:00

They’re not irrelevant if there is a skew in what women find attractive. If a 50th percentile woman doesn’t find a 50th percentile man to be attractive and only 20th percentile women find that same man attractive, then there will be many single men.

I do think that eventually the market matches up into largely percentile based monogamy, but if that 50th percentile woman was having casual sex with 70th percentile men before settling down with 50th percentile man, then it’s possible that it will cause relationship friction due to lack of trust.

obviousredflag · 2023-03-23T15:32:00+00:00

For men this is true. For women, they don't get that clear market signal, because men are interested in them for sex but not for relationships. This doesn't get easier with the fact that also men below women's level and at their desirability level might just want them for sex. How to tell if the disinterest of the man for a relationship was because he was not in your league, or because you just didn't match well for other reasons, or he just didn't want a relationship in general?

As a woman, you really need to have a very good understanding of what makes your desirability and how you score on that evaluation. Because the market will send you all kinds of signals and the way to find out (by lowering your mate choice candidates until they start to want relationships with you, is something very hard to do).

WilliamWyattD · 2023-03-23T15:01:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

WilliamWyattD · 2023-03-23T16:00:54+00:00

This is missing the point. The primary 'big picture' gender dynamics worry is that women will just opt out of the mating game altogether in too large numbers. I think too many men assume that if you show a woman with delusional standards just how low her chances are of getting such a man she will then join the market and take the partner it allocates her. But there's no certainty women will do that.

Rather, if you bring delusional women to reality, they may just get depressed about dating and opt out period. Maybe sleep upwards occasionally when they can, maybe go celibate. So yeah, for society in general, it matters what women's standards are. If, as a random example, women with a 50th percentile mate value ranking simply find the idea of being with any guy below 70th percentile repulsive, we have big problems.

Preme2 · 2023-03-23T15:23:04+00:00

if your standards are fine for what you’re offering

LOL. We can’t even make it past step one.

If you can’t find someone that meets your “standards” after an extended period of time, they’re too high.

Yes, it’s called settling. Usually occurs around or just before a woman’s 30’s. An emphasis on extended lol. Women could be delusional for years

Looks aren’t the only thing that makes people desirable.

You’re right, you might need 100k too.

Maffioze · 2023-03-23T17:22:35+00:00

What if you recognize that free markets are flawed?

kvakerok · 2023-03-23T17:39:38+00:00

"Market" is literally an aggregation of the standards of everyone participating.

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-03-23T15:24:04+00:00

Yeah right, I could totally go be with a fat highschool dropout who has 4 kids and 3 baby fathers in a dirty 2 bedroom apartment on welfare .

Having standards allows me to not do that, even at the expense having possibly having no one to be with instead

SecondEldenLord · 2023-03-24T00:12:07+00:00

In the dating market average men have realistic standards and average women have unrealistic standards. A man who is a 5 would be fine with a woman who is a 5. A woman who is a 5 however will want only a guy who is a 9 or a 10 and she will get that man, but only as a sex partner, not as a stable relationship.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-03-23T15:05:42+00:00

There's no such thing as a standard being "too high" in general. People can have whatever standards they want. Standards may be "too high" to meet your particular goals such as being likely to find a relationship within a particular time frame, but that's fine, your choice. Nobody needs to have standards that are really easy to be met by someone who's interested in them. They can weigh up how important something is to them with how many people with that characteristic are likely to be into them themselves.

jrjr_analyst · 2023-03-23T16:21:16+00:00

I often complain about how Asian men (and Black women) are undervalued in most American SMPs because of the cultural baggage associated with our respective ethnicities and immutable features.

That said, folks in these 2 demos are receiving interest and attention. The problem is that said interest comes from individuals who would benefit from an ensuing relationship far more than we would. As such, we stay single and hold out for a better deal (that may never come).

If your standards are fine for what you're offering, you shouldn't really have to compromise on much at all. If you can't find someone that meets your "standards" after an extended period of time, they're too high, or just obscure.

It's difficult to argue with this. However, retaining some semblance of 'standards' protects us from unpleasant and/or unsatisfying outcomes. I'd rather geomaxx to a place where I can alphabuxx instead of mope around serving as BB to a resentfull Wall survivor.

StaticNocturne · 2023-03-24T05:36:49+00:00

Your standards are whatever you want them to be.

Whether or not you'll find anyone who meets your standards and is interesting in dating you is another story.

10throwawayantsy · 2023-03-23T15:16:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-03-24T01:03:47+00:00

The market is a drunkard.

I had borderline-ugly girls tell me there's no chemistry.

I had a fatty tell me I look better on Tinder (after having sex with me of course).

And I've had a jaw-dropping hottie makeout with me and then show me a picture of her husband on her phone.

If you put yourself on the line (and not just cry on the internet), then you can take an average and see what the market thinks about you - but any one girl is just too much variance to infer anything useful from if you're not either a stunner or downright ugly.

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-03-23T19:07:20+00:00

I say how desirable I am.

No one else. I'm not relying on some ever changing "market" to tell me.

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lolthankstinder · 2023-03-23T16:04:11+00:00

What if market value changes over time and a certain group of people takes advantage of their high initial market value to monopolize and instantiate high standards of pricing, thus creating artificially low supply and high demand? And, once their market value equalizes, they push for heavy regulation to stifle the competition from doing the same.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-03-23T16:25:56+00:00

Not really. 1st; there isn't really much of a "market" outside of OLD. Or if there is it's highly dysfunctional because it's a market where everybody keeps what they actually want a secret (exceptions perhaps for the highly attractive). Both markets (online and real life) will rough sort you (if you are male) into 3 categories; hot or not, and maybe a third category of "possibly hot?". So the market isn't efficient on two levels; it doesn't get people what they want, nor does it sort them in the fine gradations that you claim it does.

Look at how people claim it's hard to make friends as an adult. People who made friends in high school and college struggle to do so after college. Somehow the wheels fall off the "market" for friendship, though the people presumably haven't changed that much. It could be that a similar phenomenon is at play in the dating market.

VehementlyDrawn · 2023-03-23T17:18:03+00:00

Yes I agree to an extent; the issue is that all relationships aren't equal. So even if you match and get into a relationship with your "Market Value Equivalent", it could be a one-sided relationship. And some people are ok with that but let's be honest here, those situations suck and are not talked about enough.

DSX293s · 2023-03-23T21:28:13+00:00

There are only two factors that count, height + cash

SlyStocks · 2023-03-23T22:03:01+00:00

Just because a woman asks your for advice and laughs a lot while talking to you, it doesn‘t mean she wants to give you head. Looks are pretty much everything.

ParticularCamera2297 · 2023-03-24T00:30:11+00:00

Markets are not always stable or always reflecting the actual valuation of the items on it, this is pretty much a known fact in the stock market for example. Women have been riding the “bull” wave of the dating market, meaning their market value has been trending up more than it should in the last decade or so, due to known “tailwinds”, i.e, reasons repeatedly mentioned and discussed on this sub. There is inevitably going to be a major correction to the inflated female value, and this going to happen due to several reasons, for example when more men start to wake up to the female dual mating strategy, divorce laws corrected, legalized prostitution, etc.

JoeRMD77 · 2023-03-24T01:44:56+00:00

If we're measuring ceiling than my ceiling is pretty high cuz I got lucky once or twice. I guess I need to up my already high standards as a man.

Peacesquad · 2023-03-27T00:24:41+00:00

Not for women lol

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-03-30T10:43:45+00:00

I dont think I've ever really questioned my standards before. Maybe a couple times when I was down in the dumps bc the first couple dates didn't go well-- I did tend to catastrophize dumb shit. But I was always willing to just wait 6 months until someone I liked who seemed to want a relationship showed up.

Getting people to be interested in dating is very easy when you have my type of personality as well. I'm not especially charming but I ask them about themselves & show genuine interest because I'm naturally interested in other people. And my sense of humor is pretty good over text. I'm always surprised when people tell me I'm intimidating though.

Title	"Standards" are largely irrelevant, because the market tells you how desirable you are
Author	10throwawayantsy
Upvotes	60
Comments	163
Date	March 23, 2023 2:59 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11zmyh0/standards_are_largely_irrelevant_because_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/standards-are-largely-irrelevant-because-the.1186591 https://theredarchive.com/post/1186591

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