Gender Differences and SEXXXX

[deleted] · 2014-11-13T14:59:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SpaceWhiskey · 2014-11-13T15:59:26+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree with the importance of grinding! When I turned 18, a friend of mine took me to the local adult sexy times store and told me to pick out whatever I wanted and I got my first vibrator. The rabbit was all the rage at the time, and all I ever had to do to get off was grind my hips against it. Made me waaay better at sex after I figured out how to do that.

homo_homini_lupus · 2014-11-13T14:53:58+00:00

They assume that the penis is the main course, but for a lot of women it is in fact the "cherry on top."

I used this EXACT sentence the other day talking to my H, he has a male conception of how females experience sex, attraction and arousal that can really only be termed "male solipsism" in the way TRP means "female solipsism". Interesting to see you write those words

LeGrandDiableBlanc · 2014-11-13T18:41:17+00:00

Are vaginas really that mysterious? Am I the only guy who never had this problem? I spent my time as a horny adolescent researching sex, and pretty much all advice emphasis foreplay and clitoral stimulation for the woman.

I've also never needed extra lubrication... ever. If a woman is properly turned on, she will usually be extremely wet and dilated/open/looser feeling. I don't understand how anyone could mistake an aroused vagina for a non-aroused one.

I also don't understand the mysterious way a lot of men look at the clitoris. Nature rubix cube? Can these people really not tell when the girl likes what you're doing as opposed to not?

My best guess is that guys don't first set the proper mental mood (which is really like 70% of foreplay), and they don't ease into things. I can see how going from 0% turned on to having a guy haphazardly ram his fingers into your dry vagina is likely painful and ruins the mood... but is this really that common?

exit_sandman · 2014-11-13T15:09:37+00:00

oh man can't believe how clueless guys can be. Learning to go down on a girl til she comes is something everyone should learn. Afterwards in her orgasmic euphoria she will let you fuck her any filthy way you desire. It is a win/win and it is not fucken rocket science so don't pretend it is hard to learn all you need to do is pay attention to her bodies responses and act according to it.

I blame PORN, it has fucked up peoples minds for men and woman who watch it. When I see porn stars going down or fingering they are way too rough. Doing the same to a real woman will usually kill her arousal. This also goes for female porn stars sucking on a guys balls, if a girl was that rough with my balls it would be extremely painful. These are just two examples, foreplay in general is blasted past when in a normal sex life foreplay is fairly extended.

They should really teach a class on pleasing your partner in high school but fuck that would be too controversial so lets just have porn teach them all the wrong things.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2014-11-13T16:43:38+00:00

in hetero intercourse, men control the flow of the sex for the most part, so naturally women are more dependent on his performance, than he is on hers.

I agree. I appreciate feedback, the most common being "keep doing that" but also the nonverbal kind. But the fact is, I can't ever remember a girl deciding when we change positions. If she orgasms while on top then yeah, she'll roll off for a break. But otherwise they mostly go along with whatever I decide to do.

So it's exactly like you say, men control the pace and flow.

I am not going get my rocks fully off with just penile stimulation

I'm cool with that. I like to use vibrators, toys and other things to generally make sex be about more than just fucking. I usually ask a girl to masturbate the first time we're together, and I make note of whether she spends more time internally or externally. There's different ways of doing oral sex that accommodate each preference.

The thing is, I can get my own rocks off. I can do it all by myself, and so can you. But if we're going to be together, we should enjoy each other.

exit_sandman · 2014-11-13T14:52:40+00:00

"Penal intercourse" sounds like an euphism for "prison rape" ;D (if I am not mistaken, you probably meant "penile")

They assume that the penis is the main course, but for a lot of women it is in fact the "cherry on top." In other words I am not going get my rocks fully off with just penal stimulation. Penal intercourse is the deep body massage after the electric O.

Case by case, depends on whether you have clitoral or a vaginal orgasm (to my knowledge it's a 2:1 chance that a woman is the former).

I've also seen a lot of RPers disparage me for stating that in hetero intercourse, men control the flow of the sex for the most part, so naturally women are more dependent on his performance, than he is on hers.

Which is probably because it can be construed as an excuse for why women are pillowqueening during the act. My 2c: the more the guy has the hots for you )and the more... friction he has), the easier it is to get off by himself (and therefore not really depending on the woman's performance). If you have that, having a guy come is easymode.

ThorLives · 2014-11-13T16:50:11+00:00

I've also seen a lot of RPers disparage me for stating that in hetero intercourse, men control the flow of the sex for the most part, so naturally women are more dependent on his performance, than he is on hers.

What are you talking about? Do you have some screenshots to back this up? I guess it's hard for me to believe that RP "disparage" you for saying that women are more dependent on his sexual performance than he is on her sexual performance. Though, most RPers and most men will tell you that women have more control over when and whether sex happens than men do. (Which is why they say that women are the gatekeepers of sex.) I wonder if you're confused about what's being argued about.

cxj · 2014-11-14T06:14:30+00:00

Cool thread, thanks for making it!

ECoast_Man · 2014-11-13T14:41:47+00:00

For the woman? It depends on whose cock it is

adrixshadow · 2014-11-13T19:18:25+00:00

For women out there can you compare the experience of really rough sex with a really beast of a guy to cunnilingus?

This is what interest me the most because I do not think it is just a factor of nerve endings.

Nerve stimulation wise the clitoris and anal would be more prominent.

roe_ · 2014-11-13T21:40:22+00:00

Penile intercourse is the deep body massage after the electric O.

This seems about right to me. Our "order of operations" is she gets off, PIV, I get off.

I suspect "technique" is overrated, although there's something to be said for maintaining the right psychological mind-frame - dominance, fantasies, teasing, &etc.

There's apparently a study (wish I could cite it) that her ability to reach orgasm is highly correlated with her level of attraction.

SquidwardsEuphoria · 2014-11-13T22:31:53+00:00

Maybe I'm weird but it takes me way longer to O from oral than from PiV (i'm a woman). Me on top + PIV = O in about 5 minutes, even w/no foreplay. Other positions are a lot harder.

cxj · 2014-11-14T05:47:10+00:00

As posted above, my experience with girls is that they either know what they like and how to get off during sex and will give very explicit instructions on what to do, or they don't and won't have an orgasm. I refuse to take blame on their refusal to communicate or put effort into figuring out what they need. I have told every girl I have ever hooked up with to tell me what feels good, what it takes for them to have an orgasm etc, and very few of them say anything.

GridReXX · 2014-11-14T11:10:58+00:00

It seems to me in my 25 years on earth that men assume women experience sex like them.

They assume that the penis is the main course, but for a lot of women it is in fact the "cherry on top."

In my experience it's the exact opposite.

Many guys are so paranoid from reading about how most women can't reach an orgasm through PiV intercourse; that women are very sensitive so you need to go extra slow...that they overdo foreplay and don't fuck hard enough.

Seriously many women complain about this.

MissPearl · 2014-11-14T13:14:59+00:00

Any of the guys I have sex with will be, by preselection bias, aware sex is complicted. There are not a lot of liberal, kinky dudes who think penatrative intercourse is the road to paradise for all women, because regardless of practical experience, they are well read. Of course this can have a similar problem- fixating on say, vibrators or head as replacement magic bullets.

That and sometimes you get to deal with him expecting the spots he wants to touch on you being the best spots for orgasmic outcome. I don't think this is a men fail issue, I think I'm sure I've done it too.

Matters get more complicated by the fact that men don't nessarily experience sex the same way either, but generally assume they are normal. And women tend to do this too. For example I'm continually amused that there's always at least one person in any sex discussion who does at least one the following.

1) Hand jobs? Pah! You can never be as good as a guy with his own hands.

2) Guys are easy to get off. Just do X, Y & Z.

3) You women need to communicate better.

4) Just throw her on the bed and pound her pussyz, bro.

5) Orgasm route X is better than orgasm route Y. (Aka vaginal orgasms are more mature)

6) This is all bullshit. Fuck with a chick's head right and pow, vaginal orgasm.

7) All women squirt and its the best orgasm.

8) There is a conspiracy to deny women miracle orgasm solution X (eg "just find the gspot and your sexist and misguided if you don't have one")

sh1v · 2014-11-19T05:49:45+00:00

I think the unwrit message here is basically, most women, including the OP, want to be dominated by their man during sex. That means man on top, man controlling, man thrusting, man fucking, man using technique, man inducing the orgasms. Woman lying back and just enjoying taking it and submitted. A sort of analogue for the relationship between men and women generally.

The idea that a woman can be in that role during sex, and in fact, that a woman has any responsibility during sex, even over her own body, is simply... foreign. It does not exist. Most people, blue pillers included, can't force their hind brains into a place where they could even be cognizant of the idea that, if a woman fails to cum, it is anything but the man's fault. Despite their pretenses of egalitarianism.

This is as it should be. Mouths make empty words, bodies instinctively know truth. Women were meant to be dominated, fucked well, and be made subject to the manipulations and mastery of men. Blue pill women know this deep down but can't manifest that truth except by their usual form of speech, ie, some form of complaint against men generally. In this case, it's bemoaning the lack of men capable of making women orgasm.

I find the whole thing amusing. Here is the gender that god has gifted with the ability to cum 10 or more times during any given sex session, complaining about an orgasm gap. I wonder how many women even know that men are capable of multiple orgasms. Maybe if women were better in bed and put forth a little more effort, we could close the multi orgasm gap... another example of a thought that is just completely alien to most people no matter how equal-minded they believe themselves to be.

Title	Gender Differences and SEXXXX
Author	GridReXX
Upvotes	10
Comments	128
Date	November 13, 2014 2:33 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2m6l9v/gender_differences_and_sexxxx/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/gender-differences-and-sexxxx.284372 https://theredarchive.com/post/284372

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