Guys. It was never about how manly you are. It was never about how confident you are.

It's all about how safe you are.

Women are less likely to pick based on superficial criteria like looks and wealth(I'll qualify this in a sec) because it don't matter if a dude is fuckable as much as if the dude will not try to rape her in her sleep.

When women say a guy is "boyfriend material", he's more likely to look warm and comforting and safe than hot with a big dick.

So why, you might be asking, do women reject men who aren't confident?

Because insecure men in a relationship have the potential to be violent. Because society has conditioned men to think that if they feel emasculated or humiliated, they need to assert themselves with violence.

"oh but I'm a nice guy! I'm so safe! how come women aren't flocking to me?"

what if you're only nice when you're bottom of the pack and desperate for a girlfriend? where's the guarantee that you're nice even when you'd be in a relative position of power, as someone physically stringer in an intimate setting?

this is also why men with girlfriends are attractive to other women. another woman is a walking example of someone who trusts that guy enough.

Why is wealth a factor? A man without financial problems has one less problem he can act out on his partner. This, sadly, is not a very good indicator of a good partner though.

But what is? What is attractive to women, if not confidence and masculinity?

Someone who is happy. Someone who is fulfilled. Someone who may not be "alpha", but isn't a seething ball of resentment and self-hatred. That's what gets you women*

  • not a specific girl, but ups you chances of finding a partner

** mutual interests help.