Is hypergamy absolute or relative?

Butt-Factory · 2017-10-22T05:39:35+00:00

Have you ever met a person who isn't better than you in some way?

storffish · 2017-10-22T04:36:03+00:00

first of all: both of those things are relative. it's just a question of what her attraction is relative to: her or other guys. the answer is obviously both. a 30-something fat chick, generally speaking (yes I know there are exceptions I don't need to see any tinder/craigslist screenshots) has the potential to be happy she snagged a guy that a hottie wouldn't consider. but the quality of available guys matters to. I'm barely middle class by American standards (I do alright with the ladies but it's in spite of that fact) but I could go to a third world country and be swimming in puss.

of course there's no way to measure it because it's not a quantifiable thing. it's a very vague, weasel-word concept that you can manage to fit into any situation. that girl earns more than her husband? yeah well, he's stronger than her and better at mario cart so hes still better than her and she's still hypergamous. generally speaking women tend to go for wealthier guys, but that's the only area I've seen a trend and I've seen a lot of hookups and couplings come and go in my social group.

madscientistlove · 2017-10-22T04:33:46+00:00

I'd say better than other men in her environment, with the clarification that it's better than other men, in ways that matter to her. It's possible that this is not money.

GroovyEFS · 2017-10-22T11:15:09+00:00

Of course it's relative. Average women know they can't actually bag whatever hot celebrity is in vogue this week, they're not idiots.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-10-22T12:29:51+00:00

It is both.

daveofmars · 2017-10-22T14:05:25+00:00

It's both. She wants a man that pulls her up, not brings her down, but also a man that is better than most other men.

pinkgoldrose · 2017-10-22T10:29:19+00:00

She chooses the best of the men who want to date her. Which is totally normal and men do the same when it comes to choosing a monogamous partner.

notworthmuch20xx · 2017-10-22T04:31:13+00:00

I would say both: better than her and better than other males will be applied to different categories

Electra_Cute · 2017-10-22T04:38:17+00:00

http://www.carl-jung.net/animus.html

Animus is the archetype of reason and spirit in women. This is the male aspect of the female psyche, as the anima is the female aspect of male psyche.

This archetype is projected in various male images and characters like great artists, heroes, warriors, sportsmen, philosopher, and so forth. When identified with the animus (animus-inflated), women develop an excessive rational drive which may end up in excessive criticism and stubbornness.

This idea by Carl Jung is there is something called "the animus", which is a collective of all of the great male heroes, artists, warriors etc. The idea is that females are constantly comparing males to these great men. The Red Pill "hypergamy" pretty much means that the female wants a male who is better at being man than she is, being a man is about how much the male measures up to the ideals of Carl Jung's animus. Hypergamy(assuming that Carl Jung is correct in any sense), would be absolute in my opinion because there are clear cultural standards on ideal men. Take this with a grain of rice.

SasquatchMcKraken · 2017-10-22T16:13:22+00:00

Hypergamy doesn't necessarily work upwards. The woman will always convince herself that her new man is an upgrade (why wouldn't she?). But it's not the cold, calculating decision that a lot of people, including in TRP, make it out to be. Yes sometimes hypergamy is cut and dry, i.e. she makes more than her husband, or Bill down the street has a better physique. But people, men and women alike, leave/cheat for variety far more often than for quality. Failure to see this, is why cheating/breakups fuck people up so badly. Judgements of quality are usually subjective and retroactive.

Entropy-7 · 2017-10-22T04:50:55+00:00

Plan A is to get a man better than any other man.

Plan B is to get a man better than the girl herself.

Equality, emancipation, and empowerment are not bad things in themselves but when combined with female hypergamy it is a death sentence for western civilization.

Alfalfa121 · 2017-10-22T05:20:29+00:00

If I look around at people I know, I see all kinds of women dating and marrying higher SMV men than themselves and many dating or marrying down in SMV. I don’t see an overwhelming pattern, but what I do see is that when a woman dates/marries “up” everyone seems happier for some reason. I always advise my male friends to date “down” for this reason. I think it boils down to this. Women date down because they think they want to be secure and comfortable. Subconsciously, she loses attraction for him, and they have a bad sex life which causes a bad marriage. I don’t think it happens to the same extent the other way around though, because men seem to be less “choosy” with sexual partners than women, (if you don’t believe me, swipe every single person on your female friend’s tinder account, then do the same on your male friend’s account and compare the amount of matches) and can maintain a healthy sex drive for a women two points lower on the “ten” scale at least. Healthy sex life is both the foundation of a happy marriage.

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mydikishomofobik · 2017-10-22T14:42:28+00:00

Definitely relative. A woman's hypergamy is shaped by her own perceived status, and the pool of men that are available to her, or the men she has dated in the past.

namdeirfnotlim · 2017-10-23T00:09:06+00:00

Both. Even if a woman earns $0 she won't be satisfied with a male who earns $50k if she sees that $100k males are interested in her.

Eastuss · 2017-10-23T09:38:28+00:00

All of these.

The male must be higher than her, but if she's shit, then the man must be higher than a certain threshold. And that threshold depends of the other males within her environment, which is constituted of the males who approach her, and the ideals on internet and medias. Therefore all the low value men are completely invisible to her and she has a wrong perception of what an average man is.

cxj · 2017-10-23T23:13:26+00:00

Relative, see my depth hub post

blackedoutfast · 2017-10-24T00:39:56+00:00

both. men are generally superior to women, so therefore if a woman's boyfriend is inferior to her he will also be inferior to many other men.

larrythetomato · 2017-10-24T23:53:11+00:00

It is only relative, absolute hypergamy literally doesn't make sense.

Hypergamy is the tendency of women to prefer men who are equal or higher on the social scale. Because social scales aren't objective in the general sense, hypergamy is always relative.

Or maybe both mechanics are at play: being "better than her" is the bare minimum to even register on her radar, and from that pool of "better males" she picks the best?

A mostly useless tip for relationships is that for any relationship to work, the guy needs to be better than the girl in something she values. If this this is the thing she values the most, then your relationship will be solid. e.g. If she is an amazing business woman, but she can't speak publicly, and she really values the ability to calmly talk to crowds, she would be happy and stable with a poor lecturer.

It is a useless tip because no one is going to tell you what they really value, and worrying about this with all the other important factors in relationships is a stupid idea.

It is only 'mostly' useless, because both you and her can change (or maintain) what you are and what you value. e.g. If you know she appreciates your physical strength and body, don't let yourself go. Similarly if she really likes how you have a social network, don't let your connections fall off.

DashneDK2 · 2017-10-22T08:45:11+00:00

It's both, but mainly other men in her environment. And men have it the same way. If somebody - man or woman - think he or she could have done better, then this is hell on relationship health and stability.

caesarfecit · 2017-10-22T17:05:54+00:00

Definitely relative.

I think for most women, hypergamy really asserts itself competing with other women. Not every woman has as strong a hypergamous impulse as others, but there's very few women won't compare their partner to other women (and their partners) who they think are equivalent to her. It's how these women measure themselves as women. Guys compete sexually too, but it's more about who is more attractive to women in general, rather than who has the best GF.

That's why a woman's BFFs are the ones most likely to make a pass at her BF, even they're in a relationship too. When hypergamous competition asserts itself, men become the trophies and benchmarks of a woman's SMV.

This is also why social proof is such a powerful tool for men. Without social proof, even if a girl is attracted to you, there's a strong chance she'll hold you in reserve, thinking she's got the inside track and can afford to wait. If you are socially proofed however, it's like gasoline on a fire and women will throw themselves at you to get to you "first" before some other girl, especially another one she knows, snatches you up.

Another point is that hypergamy and earning power have a very tangential relationship. Hypergamy most asserts itself with things like social status and superficial attractiveness (looks factor into that, but it's a more holistic thing than just, has he got dat 6-pack/jawline).

Hypergamous instincts could be basically summarized like this:

Am I with a man who's man enough to make me feel like a proud woman?
Am I with a man who makes my BFFs jealous?
Is this man the best I can reasonably expect out of myself?

Title	Is hypergamy absolute or relative?
Author	Sniveling_Cur
Upvotes	7
Comments	79
Date	October 22, 2017 4:29 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/77y9vv/is_hypergamy_absolute_or_relative/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-hypergamy-absolute-or-relative.265209 https://theredarchive.com/post/265209

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