“Mansplaining” vs Women?

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-10-12T03:06:56+00:00

It turns out that most people like to listen to people they can relate to and they don’t like to listen to people they can’t relate to.

You wouldn’t ask a fish about how to fish. I wouldn’t ask a fisherman how to avoid being caught by a fisherman.

“But the evidence!” you say. How many times has someone linked to a study that directly contradicted the point he was trying to make? More often than not we find evidence to rationalize our existing opinion, not the other way around. And yes that even applies to logical and factual TM men.

_revelationary · 2022-10-12T02:59:01+00:00

Well “mansplaining” as a concept is more about a man describing in detail a topic that a woman already understands, giving the impression he thinks she’s ignorant. I think the word is misused a lot.

But this example seems like it’s just a bias most people have to give more credibility to people who are relatable to them. A woman has more authority to another woman about things like dating because she can relate to the experience more than a man can, regardless of all his statistics. I don’t know that it would be mansplaining necessarily, just harder to get buy-in because he’s a guy, and that could give him his own biases or misconceptions about what being a woman is like.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-12T03:21:11+00:00

Generally it is because those particular men lecture condescendingly to women on subjects that the women are already pretty familiar with, such as how their own periods work.

BigOleGreenTrees · 2022-10-12T06:28:47+00:00

There is in general with people lately a lot of tribalism and groups fighting. Liberals vs conservatives is the obvious one, but I've also seen increased man vs woman rhetoric from both sides. I think this has less to do with innate differences in men and women and more to do with the divide and conquer lord of the flies shit happening online and in the world...

I've seen some posts on women subreddits that I found extreme and unfair to men... Further a ton of the posts in these women subreddits will be about men? I understand why it happens, I'm a woman and I do have a ton of these experiences too, but it's kind of crazy to me that twox would approach failing the bechdel test and supposedly women are liberated yet we still are cursed to have our discourse be about evil men?

I always love to say when you look at any groups, there is more variation within the groups than between them. It's maddening all the posts that just say all women do one thing, even yours.. For every woman doing what you describe, there are probably many more not. The loud minority can seem large, just like most people don't care to write a 3 statement review.

There are many women I have seen to be evil and that I would say have done wrong. I actually inherently distrust very attractive women because I expect them to be selfish, entitled, and cruel. Some people are just not good people and you will see it on all sides.

CimZim · 2022-10-12T11:52:32+00:00

Mansplaining and femsplaining are just new stupid slang for a person who is arrogant and condescending without having any reason to be. One is when men act this way towards women, the other is when women act this way towards men.

If you're going to a seminar to listen to a speaker about a particular topic who is assumed to have expert/above average knowledge of the subject, that's really difficult to call mansplaining. The speaker would have to not only talk down to his audience but also be incorrect about the topic. While it does happen it's not common.

Any-Bottle-4910 · 2022-10-12T18:14:14+00:00

When it comes to dating and dating advice…

I would tell any guy who asked to go ask his female friends for advice first. Follow every hygiene and fashion hint they give. Then, take all the other advice and do the exact opposite. Their advice on this is almost universally disastrous. No, I don’t know why, and I won’t try to muse on it speculatively.

I’ve worked mostly with women in my life in the bar biz, and I’ve been asked by them for dating advice many times. I always offer the following, and it has a powerful success rate including several marriages:

“Ascertain which of these two strategies to follow by sizing up your date.

Option one is to make him wait for sex. Several dates at least, but less than a month. Too quickly and he won’t value you. Too late and he will give up.

Option two: fuck the living daylights out of him on the first date. Make it kinky and wild. Then do not contact him. Don’t answer calls or texts for two days. His ego and curiosity will not be able to handle it. If he’s still after you and not getting jerky about it, stop the ghosting and engage forthrightly.”

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-12T08:52:44+00:00

For a start, "mansplaining" doesn't just mean men explaining things. It's when a man assumes a woman is incompetent and gives her knowledge she already has (often incorrectly) as a result. Second, women's dating advice isn't any more or less intuitive than men's as a whole, both are based on rather shaky evidence usually, but they are viewed differently and are generally criticised more heavily by the opposite sex (so men can, and do, quite heavily criticise or dismiss women's dating advice). People who pay to attend a seminar clapping doesn't really prove anything other than they got what they paid for. Men and women both have in group preferences and male dating advice tends to be more strongly demonising of women which leads to greater backlash.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-10-12T02:58:52+00:00

seminars of men essentially explaining womens psychology TO women

Can you provide examples?

prizefighterstudent · 2022-10-12T17:34:09+00:00

Mansplaining is a knee-jerk psyop generated as a response to the early 2010's Ben Shabino wave of cookie cutter conservatism -- it is a myth.

pinktuliplover · 2022-10-12T03:27:46+00:00

Mansplaining usually occurs randomly by the man. His advice or teaching was not asked for. So women going to a man’s dating seminar is not mansplaining because they actually want his advice.

Also, a lot of men and women don’t know how to talk to each other. Men usually can’t effectively communicate harsh truths to the opposite sex in an unoffensive and not insensitive way. So it’s often harder to take criticism from the opposite sex.

Upstairs-Rip-604 · 2022-10-12T05:13:09+00:00

“Why do women hate “mansplaining”, but if a woman hosts a dating seminar basically discussing dating strategies, relatable feelings and thought processes, women will clamor and clap in agreement ?”

Some women are stupid. Mansplaining isn’t a thing. Condescension is a thing. I don’t like condescending people.

“It bothers me how upset some women get at the seminars of men essentially explaining womens psychology TO women.”

Well, psychology seems so “fluffy”.

“Unbiased statistics that may not even be demonizing in nature, but is collectively polled, reported, or substantiated?”

How do psychology studies work? Is the actual question being answered?

“Sometimes by other women?”

Ya. It shouldn’t matter if the person making the claim is a man or a woman.

“I’m essentially asking why is there such a disparity of belief from a woman giving intuitional dating advice compared to a man backed with statistics in how women’ minds and emotion work?”

How does a woman’s mind work? How do we tell how a woman’s mind works? What is emotion? How can we tell how people experience emotion? Why WOULD someone look to statistics for relationship advice? Why WOULDN’T someone look to statistics for relationship advice?

“For how prevalent it is, it HAS to be engrained in the female genome to disbelieve any guy giving women dating advice .”

Your joke here isn’t funny because it doesn’t make sense. Any guy?

“It’s just that prevalent.”

Perhaps it depends on what’s being said.

“I know full well it’s not, but beyond some saying child support laws can be unfair , it’s hard to find women being objective about how flawed women can be.”

A lot of the women you’ve met must be dumb.

“Again this isn’t to demonize women, but it’s like women can’t do wrong in each other’s eyes.”

Again, you’ve met a lot of dumb women. It seems like you’ve never met an intelligent woman.

“The only women I’ve seen be unanimously shamed by other women are Amber Heard and Jada Pinkett Smith for the reasons everyone remembers.”

Which women have been unanimously shamed by men, but not by women?

“I can link an article highlighting how women have a 4/5 in group preference, meaning they’ll excuse each other easier for shit they’d slam us for.”

Psychology fluff.

“I just want to know why and where it comes from.”

My guess is that it comes from stupidity. A lot of people in this world are stupid. That’s just the way it is. Alternatively, the speaker is spewing dumb bullshit and the women who disbelieve the speaker are intelligent.

I urge you to look back at some of my questions and try developing your own answers to them, keeping an open mind while doing so.

CimZim · 2022-10-12T05:05:57+00:00

I'm interested in your last statement about female in-group preference. It's a fascinating effect.

Females have a natural instinct to make excuses for other females' bad behavior, or cover it up, or not assign any responsibility to other females - But if a man did a similar behavior, even half as bad, they'd viciously berate him in unison.

I've noticed this happens even when the two females have never met, and will never meet. It's like a code.

I believe this effect occurs because women know deep in their hearts that female nature is a real thing, and most women are alike in how they respond to things. So a woman hearing a description of another female's bad behavior is like being accused of it herself. She needs to be defensive.

Another element of this is: Feeling an emotion is never wrong, but the behavior we choose in response to the emotion could be. Removing this agency shifts the responsibility for the behavior to the person causing the emotion in the woman, not the woman herself.

MicrospathodonChrys · 2022-10-12T13:50:16+00:00

How do you think it would be received if a woman who is an expert in the field did a seminar explaining men’s psychology TO men?

Like others have said, an expert sharing their expertise isn’t necessarily “mansplaining,” and i would consider this an example of mansplaining, really.

I do think there’s a growing number of women who are suspicious of men who become an expert in a “women’s” domain in order to profit off of women. Think “glute guru” male strength trainers, men who try to teach women about “femininity,” or even male gynecologists. It’s not that these things are inherently wrong or that these men don’t have legitimate expertise to offer. It just doesn’t sit well with many women to pay men for these very women-specific services when there are plenty of equally qualified women.

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-10-12T18:53:39+00:00

learning is fine.

men explaining things you already know (mansplaining) is bad.

learning from someone you consider an expert is good.

a random man inserting himself as your teacher is bad.

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AquaChip · 2022-10-12T11:59:44+00:00

I’ve heard no one use the word mansplaining in real life.

_demidevil_ · 2022-10-12T14:15:05+00:00

I haven’t dated men in a long time, but the way the heterosexual dating scene us characterised on here is very different from my experience. I read on here that I supposedly felt a certain way or held certain opinions when I was dating men - but I know factually it’s not true. The fact a man who has never dated has found a study to back up his theory does not change my reality of what I experienced and what I know my female het friends experience. For me a study confirming your theory means nothing unless I’ve read the research methodologies because there is so much shit science out there. You can find studies that contradict one another. A man simply saying iT’s ScIeNcE isn’t going to change the way women actually feel. Instead, men need to listen to what women are saying about their experience. Additionally men often don’t have the same sensitivities and boundaries as women so their view is out of context and doesn’t work in practice. The very fact that you’ve suggested in your post that women are kind to one another bat Amber Heard and Jada Pinkett-Smith shows how little you know of real world actual women relationships. Women can be brutal to one another. Really very cruel and unkind. Often towards women they perceive as being more attractive or successful. The amount of bitching that goes on is frankly disgusting.

You have your theories which complement your world view and are supposedly backed up by studies, but you don’t actually have real life experience. Would you rather the pilot flying your plane has lots of experience of flying but never read the manual, or had never flown a plane in their life but has studied the manual for the plane and theory behind flying safely?

Qhoul424 · 2022-10-13T02:00:17+00:00

When the sexist female paramedic WOMANSPLAINS to me why I can't put metal in my microwave

Title	“Mansplaining” vs Women?
Author	LiterallyJustDev
Upvotes	1
Comments	67
Date	October 12, 2022 2:46 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/y1s1hs/mansplaining_vs_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/mansplaining-vs-women.1134127 https://theredarchive.com/post/1134127

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