Pet Names For Strangers

EulenWatcher · 2022-07-29T05:35:38+00:00

I don't appreciate strange men calling me any sweet names, as I assume they want to hit on me. Grandpas are an exception here, but even with them I'm more cautious than I am with women.

If a famous man called me something sweet, I'd assume they were just nice and doing it for the crowd. Like it's their persona and anyone would figure out they weren't hitting just on a random no-name girl. It's pretty safe, so I'm okay with it. Plus, Brad Pitt is kind of...close to being a grandpa in my eyes. He's almost 60.

I'm married, I don't want anyone to hit on me besides my husband. And even if I was single, I still wouldn't want strangers (even famous) to hit on me. I can't feel attraction on the spot and I don't find cold approaches safe enough to actually be receptive to this kind of flirting.

WhiskeyOnASunday93 · 2022-07-29T07:21:36+00:00

This is totally a generational thing.

Some old guys can barely get away with it. Calling strangers darlin’ or whatever.

Just don’t even try it as a young guy. High risk low reward what’s even fun about calling strangers pet names it’s odd.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-07-29T06:06:44+00:00

I hate pet names and endearing language, especially when the come from strangers. Makes me ferl like i'm not taken seriously.

If you would call me "darling" i will need to rein in the want to hiss at you like an angry cat.

What i would be liked to be called by a celebrity/attractive person? Either my name or "you" (man/gal could also be acceptable depending on context). Also something based on what i'm wearing at the moment coyld also be acceptable.

Thebestbyanytest · 2022-07-29T05:38:56+00:00

I like when I’m called buddy or bud.

peanutbutterjams · 2022-07-29T06:13:05+00:00

Pete Davidson is considered attractive?

He looks like a half-stoned fish.

Anyways, I'm often called "honey" or "sweetie" by older women (who are colleagues!) but it would be considered sexist/sexual harassment if I ever called a woman "honey" at work.

The whole thing is inequitable so I'd just go with whatever doesn't get you into trouble. It's not a hill worth dying on.

TedsInstaEmporium · 2022-07-29T06:47:04+00:00

I say sweetie and honey when I'm trying to bother women

Gracie_777 · 2022-07-29T07:52:58+00:00

All of that sounds gross, babygirl makes my skin crawl. Just stick to Miss. Also Brad Pitt / Pete Davidson 🤢 If you are talking to a woman in her place of work please don’t ever assume attraction she’s paid to be nice to you and to smile and please don’t make her day any harder than it already is by harassing her while she tries to do her job.

mongoIz777 · 2022-07-29T08:18:27+00:00

i am a woman in australia and it's pretty normal for ppl here to call each other "darling", "darl", "sweetheart" in a customer service setting, both female workers and customers call each other that sometimes. i've worked in customer service before and i haven't had a problem with it. as a customer, it's usually older female workers who call their customers pet names. male workers get "mate" pretty often from male customers. i'm pretty neutral to it.

flash13131313 · 2022-07-29T11:51:20+00:00

I like calling women bro. Dude is casual and gender neutral. I’m a guy lol

tbd_1 · 2022-07-29T14:24:45+00:00

Guy here. I've never done this to a woman, but recently had a lot of waitresses and hostesses call me "babe", "baby", "honey", "sweetie". It's kinda nice...

social_mule · 2022-07-29T14:53:39+00:00

I'm a 50 y/o man who lives in the south. Older waitresses are notorious for calling everyone sugar, honey, sweetheart and stuff like that. Especially at the Waffle House. I rarely use pet names even for people I know let alone strangers. I say young man or young lady if the stranger is noticeably younger than me and say sir or ma'am if they're noticeably older than me. Otherwise I ask their name then call them by their name.

In a professional setting it's usually Mr or Ms Last Name and 90% of the time they reply by saying "oh please call me [insert first name here]". Although I have noticed that women have been more likely to insist that I call them by their first name instead of Ms Last Name then men are to insist that I call them by their first name instead of Mr Last Name. Same with sir and ma'am. Women object more to being called ma'am than men do to being called sir in my experience.

I call my nieces and nephews buddy. In fact I call most little kids buddy. Good job, buddy. How ya doing, buddy? See ya later, buddy.

This seems to be a question for women but I don't care, I'm answering it anyway. If I met a stranger I'd expect them to call me sir until I told them my name at which point they should either call me by my first name or Mr. Last Name. Unless they're a waitress at the Waffle House in which case they can call me sugar plum.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-07-29T08:15:32+00:00

I don't like them being used at all, as they feel weird and awkward at best to me. Including by someone I find attractive, or Brad Pitt (he's too old for me to find him attractive lol). If I was actually dating them, I'd tolerate it. I also tolerate certain names more from strangers in Northern Ireland because I know there are just certain ways we refer to strangers, but used outside of that familiar context I just don't like it.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-07-29T09:56:43+00:00

i’m a woman and i don’t mind them and i use them myself with others frequently.

i’m in the south though i feel like it’s pretty widely accepted here

goatismycopilot · 2022-07-29T12:02:34+00:00

Context. In the south everybody does it so it is not out of place. People also say Sir and Ma'am unironically.

womandatory · 2022-07-29T12:04:32+00:00

No. It’s utterly inappropriate in any setting except an intimate one.

I tolerate much older women calling me dear, and the like, and I won’t pull up an elderly man who asks me, politely, to fetch something from the top shelf in the grocery store (I’m tall) and calls me dear, or miss, or m’am, or even ‘pet’ (if he’s English), but terms of endearment are just that. I’m not your love, or your darl, pet, sweetie, dear, or any other thing. ‘Excuse me, could you help with this’ with or without ‘miss/m’am’ is an acceptable option.

Any man who uses a term of endearment when he could simply not, or ask my name, gets met with a blank stare, and occasionally (depending on how egregious the transgression) a dressing down. It doesn’t matter who he is, or how much wealth or status he has. It’s condescending, disrespectful and rude, and you all know it. Stop looking for avenues to get away with unacceptable behavior.

You Red Pillers need to get over the idea that men can get away with anything simply by being attractive or wealthy or famous. I’ve had actors and athletes hit on me with all kinds of nonsense, but not one of them has responded badly to ‘Show some respect’. Plenty of average men go mental when I say that to them. Just goes to show, high wealth/status men who behave badly know how to reel it in when they get flamed. Doing it at all still makes them low value as hell though.

ahillbilly97 · 2022-07-29T13:18:24+00:00

Big Ick Energy

2022-07-29T17:41:09+00:00

Sleazy attempt to pretend familiarity. It’s icky.

Sufficient-Escape661 · 2022-07-29T05:33:31+00:00

short king?

MaisonDavid · 2022-07-30T13:33:09+00:00

Depends on the culture really. As you say black women were the ones calling you names and for me it was asian. The women at my old job would call me names all the time even when i had just started, and it kinda rubbed off on me and id say "dear", not darling or babygirl also not to strangers though. Depends on your tone as well, i would say dear kinda like instead of saying friend. Many people on the thread dont like it, but i think it creates a closer and warmer bond between colleagues.

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Joelypoely88 · 2022-07-29T07:58:35+00:00

As a guy I don't use pet names at all, for friends or strangers. Generally it's just weird. At the most I might rarely call my GF 'baby' or something like that.

johnnyferrera · 2022-07-29T12:34:52+00:00

I use baby/babe for both men and women and never had any problem. Probably due to the fact that I use it for everyone and not just women, they don't feel singled out.

byebyecivilrights · 2022-07-29T15:44:54+00:00

From old people being nice? Yes.

From people wanting to hit on me? No.

literaryhogwartian · 2022-07-29T17:42:17+00:00

I dislike any pet names be they from strangers or loved one. I detest Babe and if anyone ever called me the vomitworthy 'babygirl' I'd be horrified

urbangoth · 2022-07-29T18:28:38+00:00

I dislike pet names from men unless they're my partner or maybe my literal father, but he's not really like that unless it's "sweetheart". My mom calls me "pumpkin".

My partner calls me "sweet bean" (for no reason other than I like beans a lot) and sometimes calls me "Boss" (my favorite, I feel like a supervillain). I loathe when men or strangers (women included, UNLESS they have a southern accent or something that implies it's merely a dialect/slang thing where they're from) call me hun, babygirl, sweetie, or honey. It feels very, very patronizing.

A man or woman's appearance alone has never made me more okay with pet names. If it's coming from anyone other than a partner, parent, southern lady (and maybe some very respectful southern men), or someone really, really old, it feels like they're talking down to me. It's not sexy or cute to me.

Honestly, being called "bro" by men or "bitch" (sassy/playfully) by my gay friends and women is more endearing, ha.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-07-29T21:38:35+00:00

You need to have the looks, charisma, and "shit going on" to be able to pull it off.

People can instantly tell if you are beta and rehearsed it all week long, compared to a real man who just lets it out and works correctly

iamsojellyofu · 2022-07-29T23:57:01+00:00

I like being called babe, princess, or angel. Anything else makes me cringe. I am a woman btw.

Willow-girl · 2022-07-30T01:51:47+00:00

"Your highness" would be nice.

IveGotIssues9918 · 2022-07-30T04:54:53+00:00

I get called "sweetheart"/"sweetie" all the time by strangers of both genders who are about 30-35 or older. I don't mind it as a general rule (obviously depends on when and how it's being used), and I wouldn't automatically assume that a man calling be that was hitting on me. If a male peer called me that, I would think that (or at least think "uh that's a bit weird"*), but I don't think any man around my age has ever done that except for the one that was actually my boyfriend.

Yes, even if they were hot. That was what I thought when "hot" boys would act weird with me in high school- not calling me pet names, as I just said above, but for example, touching my arm during a conversation for no reason. It was like, "In a different context I would take this as a sign of interest, but I know from context and history that this *isn't that, so... are you messing with me or what?"

honeydewmelonz · 2022-08-01T03:22:29+00:00

I don’t put that much thought into it. A guy can use those names toward you in a non sexual way. It doesn’t mean he’s interested in you or hitting on you. Same for women, I say honey a lot but not because I want to date them.

Title	Pet Names For Strangers
Author	edjohn88
Upvotes	9
Comments	58
Date	July 29, 2022 5:27 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/waw8dj/pet_names_for_strangers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/pet-names-for-strangers.1126070 https://theredarchive.com/post/1126070