Q4ALL: Why is it difficult to understand that when women have sex, it's contextual?

Archwinger · 2016-07-31T13:41:18+00:00

It's not hard to understand at all. Just hard to respect.

When a woman is sexually attracted to a fun sex guy, she'll do all kinds of shit with him, break every rule, do all the things she swore she'd never do, and love how slutty it makes her feel - all for the cost of a few drinks.

If a woman is not sexually attracted, or after something else, she imposes all kinds of rules and barriers to sex, and won't do anything that makes her feel slutty, because she doesn't feel that way about you.

The red pill is all about not settling for being guy #2. Sure we understand that she does this. We just don't respect her context and boundaries. If she isn't willing to be sexually generous with you, there are other women who will.

A lifetime of jumping through hoops for occasional sex, within specific boundaries the woman sets to maintain her context for the relationship is stupid.

stats135 · 2016-07-31T00:55:42+00:00

Why is it difficult to understand that when women have sex, it's contextual?

The simple answer is it isn't. If you can look past the bias against TRP you can see that everything you listed is in TRP as well.

-Her state of mind (including mental health status) -Her current attitude about sex and about her potential partner

You don't even need TRP for this one. It's just age old wisdom women are fickle.

-Her age

So kinda like how TRP describe women fucking alphas when she is in her prime years, locking down a beta provider when nearing the wall?

location, culture, background, upbringing, religion, demographics, etc.

Yes there is a difference between the FAT Americans and the Asian women. I guess some people might not know that given how SJW would shouting "RACIST!!!" every time someone ever dares mentioning it.

-Her relationship status

Of course men know this. Why else would a man date or marry a women if it wasn't for more sex?

-Her goal(s) with that particular potential partner

Different men fill different niches of women's desires. Some for status, some for money, some for comfort. Classic AFBB

-Her emotional attachment/intimacy level with that particular potential partner

Sex and intimacy level is interlinked?! Again, I'm pretty sure most people know that.

-What she thinks/feels about her potential partner -Likewise, how he makes her feel

Women make decisions like who she will sleep with based on things like feelz? Careful now. If you don't word this right, your gonna have SJW on your ass shouting MISOGYNYYY!

-Her sexual attraction to her potential partner

Attraction is interlinked with sex? Again, You would be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't believe in this.

NalkaNalka · 2016-07-31T00:31:29+00:00

Your main point is correct in that women have sex for many different reasons depending on the situation, her sex drive, the time of month the avilability of partners the social mores of the context, and many many more too long to list here.

However I have a nit to pick with this part:

There is no set “rulebook” for which women will always have sex or never have sex. There is no criterion or checklist that can be analyzed in an effort to “crack the code”. It’s all relative and contextual.

Those ideas are not mutually exclusive, it can be contextual and still be predictable, the factors involved while many, can still be analized and used to generate theories that have predictive power on woman's sexual behavior. Of course since it's people we are talking about (lots of people at that) no theory or code is going to be 100% accurate. The most you will get are trends and probable outcomes. However it's still more insight than having nothing and generally enough to make sense of woman's sexual behaviors that otherwise might seem counterintuitive.

So to sum up, yes it's not that simple but also no, even though its more complex than some give it credit for you can still get an general understanding of the factors and use them to predict average behavior, in essence, cracking the code.

lollygagyo · 2016-07-31T00:24:04+00:00

Projection, maybe? Men are obviously also contextual, but maybe they aren't as influenced by as wide a variety of factors as women are. They're primarily motivated by looks/how attracted they are to their partner and so they assume women are the same.

So we get, "If she did that with Jimmy last week and she didn't do it with me now she must like Jimmy more/Jimmy must be better looking and more alpha."

But really the lady in question might just have eaten too many nachos for lunch, so she's feeling a bit bloated and too self-conscious to really give in to the sexual experience with wild abandon.

Plus, inexperience, I'd surmise. Like once you've had sex with a fair few people, you realise that you're kind of a moody fucker regardless of whether or not you're getting laid. Before that, though, you're a little bit too distracted by the 'omg awesome I AM HAVING SEX with a pretty person!!' feels.

FairlyNaive · 2016-07-31T02:46:17+00:00

A huge part of RP theory discusses contextual nature of this subject. Most if not all mentioned factors were brought up before. The fact that some people, who are apparently butthurt about it, try to paint it in dark colours accusing women in hypocrisy or double stadards, doesnt mean we dont undestand it.

gavinok · 2016-07-31T04:37:35+00:00

I'm a little confused to what exactly you are arguing, because the idea of context is something TRP focuses on a lot in sexual dynamics.

For example, the CC. It's entirely based around the context of the college hookup culture and greek life. Girls are in a rebellious, or adventurous phase of life, with no parents or pretty much any restrictions on behavior. Why are the guys on the CC mostly frat bros or college athletes?:

They have connections to alcohol, weed and parties.
They are usually muscular and have confidence.
The environment of the "house party" or frat party is meant to lower inhibitions, and provide a loose, anything goes atmosphere. Just go wild.
Girls feel just the need for sexual pleasure and exploration, so they target guys they feel the most instant vibes for.

-Likewise, how he makes her feel

TRP talks big time on this one. Why do nerds do so poor with women? They don't produce fun and exciting feelings. No tension. They have boring hobbies, poor sense of fashion, don't take risks.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2016-07-31T08:34:21+00:00

I don't understand the point you're trying to make. Everyone already knows women are fickle and complicated, it's why memes like this exist:

http://suzigodson.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/switchboard.jpg

So, I understand that women can fuck Chad, take him up the ass, swallow his cum and later tell her hubs "It was just sex, i didnt really enjoy it - so Im not doing that stuff with you."

I understand it perfectly. I just don't LIKE it.

disposable_pants · 2016-08-01T01:25:55+00:00

There is no set “rulebook” for which women will always have sex or never have sex. There is no criterion or checklist that can be analyzed in an effort to “crack the code”. It’s all relative and contextual.

This is the fundamental difference between the red pill and the blue pill. The blue pill believes as you do -- that sexual attraction is this mysterious, unknowable, fickle phenomenon, and that it's impossible to understand what makes certain people click with each other. Everybody is different; everybody has their own individual likes and dislikes; everybody is unique and there are only a few basic things that most people broadly find attractive (and even then my friend Becky doesn't like those things, so how objectively attractive are those things, really?).

The red pill says no, there are many behaviors that are broadly attractive, and here are those behaviors. Do these things and many, many women that on the surface appear quite different will respond positively. Sure, some women may have other preferences, but if you do these specific things well enough you'll find more than enough women who will be attracted to you.

It's the difference between "every consumer is different and we must treat them all differently" and "here are four or five well-established marketing principles that most people are going to respond to."

ThatGreekLady · 2016-07-31T07:29:23+00:00

Are you guys overanalysing this stuff? I can generally think of only two reasons a woman might have sex:

1)She wants to have sex and feels like it.

2)She thinks she can get something if she has sex with a guy (that something can be commitment, money etc.)

KoennonTiger · 2016-07-31T11:51:55+00:00

Oh yeah contextual they talk about this on TRP. It's AF/BB. Funny seeing a woman's hamster attempt to explain the behavior men have been observing forever.

SunnyFoxes · 2016-07-31T13:31:11+00:00

The only factor that really matters is the one - "How he makes her feel."

All the other factors are present but not as important. So much so that all the other factors are not even comparable.

Relationship status... not important... between 25 to 30 % of woman admit to cheating. I'm sure there are more that Don't admit to cheating. Just about every attractive guy has had sex with a willing woman "in another relationship". It's a running joke.

And so with each factor we can deconstruct it. Until only the one matters. How he makes her feel. And even that only lasts for as long as the feeling lasts. All emotions are temporary and will pass.

Entropy-7 · 2016-07-31T15:07:07+00:00

It's funny because I was going to make a legal comment even before I realized it was you - the lawyer - who was the OP.

Contextualize is legal nonsense for "we can look at the situation and make up whatever rules we like".

Here is context for you:

Muscles? She fucks you; no muscles she doesn't
Money? She fucks you; no money she doesn't
Intelligence, wit and/or romatic sensibilities: she fucks you; if not then no sex for you
Artistic talent? She fucks you; no artistic talent she doesn't
Consummate bullshit artist? She fucks you - once - otherwise not

SirNemesis · 2016-07-31T03:19:16+00:00

There is no set “rulebook” for which women will always have sex or never have sex.

You're wrong. There are certain things for which women will never have sex. E.g. women will not have sex with a socially awkward basement-dwelling fat neckbeard, unless he pays them.

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ChaosRedux · 2016-07-31T05:36:55+00:00

Something you alluded to, but didn't mention: trust. Particularly in my realm of sexual activities (BDSM), knowing that your partner is going to adhere to the concept of safe, sane, and consensual when you're doing something like bondage is a HUGE factor. And there are certainly some men and women who refuse to engage with a partner at all if this cannot be guaranteed, vanilla sex or otherwise.

lbspredh · 2016-07-31T07:37:59+00:00

everything is contextual, but i'd suggest that for pretty much everyone the sexual attraction is heavily weighted, and then a slightly less weighted "what's in it for me" factor (the answer mostly being the sex itself for men but not always)

anitapk · 2016-07-31T09:02:40+00:00

Probably because most of these factors are easily manipulated and based on feelings and emotions.

LUClEN · 2016-07-31T15:22:19+00:00

You've written a lot but not said much. No offense.

tallwheel · 2016-08-01T08:15:13+00:00

-Her state of mind (including mental health status)

-Her current attitude about sex and about her potential partner

-Her age, location, culture, background, upbringing, religion, demographics, etc.

-Her relationship status

-Her goal(s) with that particular potential partner

-Her emotional attachment/intimacy level with that particular potential partner

-What she thinks/feels about her potential partner

-Likewise, how he makes her feel

-Her sexual attraction to her potential partner

One thing that is often lost on BPers (and is probably going to be protested if I bring up here) is that these factors often continue to change even after the sex has already happened. So, she may feel differently about the sex after it happens than she did at the time it happened. This is how she decides whether to see him again, not see him again, tell all her friends he was a creep, or tell people she was raped, or (worst-case scenario) make an actual accusation.

dicklord_airplane · 2016-08-01T23:02:46+00:00

Consider this example: lots of bi girls i've known said that they will have MFF threesomes with casual partners, but they would never have MFF threesome with an exclusive boyfriend. I completely understand it from these girl's perspectives because they said that they would feel jealous and afraid that their boyfriend may end up leaving them or cheating on them with the other girl. however, consider how that makes the boyfriend feel. even though he's committing himself to his girlfriend, his girlfriend would only provide the best sexual experiences to other guys who would not commit anything to her. The boyfriend feels like a fucking chump knowing that his girlfriend gave crazier, more memorable sexual experiences to casual fuckboys than she ever would for him. he might start thinking, "I'm giving more than other guys have in the past while receiving less in return. why am I trying to be anyone's boyfriend when players are getting all the best from women?"

It's not that guys don't understand how female sexuality is contextual, it's that guys don't want to get the short end of the stick by ending up being part of the less awesome sexual contexts. That's why the red pill always talk about the 80%/20% rule, which mean to me, "you better work hard on becoming part of that minority of players who fill the most fun, rewarding sexual contexts for women or else you may be relegated to a sparse and boring sex life with a woman who doesn't see you as sexually exciting as her past partners."

On another note, so many guys don't learn about about all these truths about women's contextual sexuality until later on in life. A lot of guys had no clue about how women's attraction and arousal is different from men's until they stumbled across red pill/PUA theory because the concepts are so ludicrously taboo to mention in many cultures. It's a bitter pill to swallow after you've faced a lot of romantic failure and blueballs while being an upstanding guy. it's just not fair, and that's frustrating.

adrixshadow · 2016-08-03T05:05:45+00:00

The "contextual" are the factors in the script that is AWALT.

AWALT is a woman's instinct so a rational strategy that goes against a woman's instinct is TRP.

There is a reason we say guard against AWALT at any moment and its precisely because their behavior can change at a drop of a hat.

TRP is moving checkmate by checkmate and not giving women a chance to fuck you over.

StickItInTheToilet · 2016-07-31T21:11:47+00:00

Agree with every point. There is no code to crack. And when a woman has sex with a man, he hasn't 'gamed' her and won some studly prize.

Honestly, the way red pill talk about women, you'd think it was some kind of wildlife shooting safari.

AdamAJ · 2016-07-31T09:47:59+00:00

Excusatio non petita, accusatio manifesta. Latin for, the hell are you excusing for something you claim you didn't do?

Personally, I don't understand the need. She doesn't feel like doing something she did before, with other context. Of course. Just like I don't feel sharing time, affection and resources with her, even if I did feel like it before. People change, you know.

If I give it all, I expect it all back, barring some extraordinary circumstances.

Title	Q4ALL: Why is it difficult to understand that when women have sex, it's contextual?
Author	sublimemongrel
Upvotes	9
Comments	211
Date	July 30, 2016 11:42 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4vemwa/q4all_why_is_it_difficult_to_understand_that_when/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-why-is-it-difficult-to-understand-that-when.273810 https://theredarchive.com/post/273810

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