Here is a simple thought for anyone struggling in dating or life in general. The problem with you is that you keep listening to or taking advice from people who don’t have your best interest. The truth is, nobody does. Everyone is ultimately in it for themselves.

Even your friends don’t have your best interest; they have their interests first. Dating apps ideally don’t want you finding your soulmate. The self-help guru doesn’t want you to find yourself in life. The relationship podcaster doesn’t want you to succeed in relationships. The alpha male influencer doesn’t want you to find contentment in life. If you did, they’d lose a customer.

Sometimes interests align, but their interest still supersedes yours. A government doesn’t care about sending its men into war; it’s a sacrifice they are willing to make. A society will mandate its citizens to take a vaccine (not an anti-vaxxer), even if it kills a bunch. A company will lay off a bunch to maximize profit. You think any politician: democrat or republican is there to help you. It’s the classic trolley problem. They don’t care about you; they care about their survival.

It’s the same with asking women or men for dating advice, they aren’t going to tell you the truth. Their interest will lie in protecting their innocence first, not helping you.

I see men making this mistake more than women. Women are naturally more realistic, cautious, and more risk-averse than men, since they are weaker. Men, on the other hand, are as dumb as a doorknob.

Anytime you’re engaging with the world in any matter, ask yourself this question: what is in it for this person? What is their interest? Because it comes before yours.

Most of you who are struggling have been paying attention to this podcast, that podcast, this fitness regime, this career, this product. Ask yourself: have you actually made progress in that area of your life?