To What Extent Are Attraction Standards Plastic?

Zabadoodude · 2023-09-03T04:18:25+00:00

It seems attraction standards are plastic, but people can't consciously change them. I mostly see people dating their looks match. Attractive people date other attractive people. Ugly people date other ugly people. An attractive person could not date an ugly person because they just aren't into them, but if they were ugly themselves they suddenly would be?

bruhminer · 2023-09-03T08:30:01+00:00

They aren't plastic at all, when you look at someone you evaluate whether they are attractive or not in a split second, it's something instinctive.

Pathosgrim · 2023-09-03T05:39:30+00:00

It's bad that people are getting cosmetic surgery in an attempt to match certain standards.

wtknight · 2023-09-03T04:23:19+00:00

They are unconsciously semi-plastic. Women will lower their attraction standards and not realize that they are doing it, but only to a certain level. Different women seem to have the ability to lower them more than others. But essentially, most people never get everything that they really want. This is pretty much how life works, but we usually learn to be happy with what we can have.

When women lose attraction it's because the man whom she was previously attracted to has done something to lose that attraction, not because she was never attracted to him to begin with, as some manospherians like to suggest.

Men are attracted to many women. They try to optimize the monogamous partner whom they end up with, though.

Safinated · 2023-09-03T04:52:04+00:00

You can be marginally attractive

You just need to not offend me

Guess which one is harder to find?

begayallday · 2023-09-03T05:47:34+00:00

It probably depends on the person, but I’ve found attraction standards to be highly influenced by a person’s personality for myself. I realized in my teens that a lot of my standards were just based on the media and what other people liked. Like I was more worried about getting with a guy that my friends thought was ugly than anything else. I found this out by falling for someone I had thought was hideous upon first meeting him. After that I started really questioning what my standards really were, and looking at people differently.

RonMexico432 · 2023-09-03T16:45:02+00:00

The whole 'spark' thing is weird. A big reason redditors online date is because they think the spark should just automatically be there. They'll meet for 50/50 coffee and land in the middle of a relationship. While at the same time, complaining that women just won't wait to see if a spark develops, in spite of being short or fat or whatever. It's dumb.

Lovemelikeareptile1 · 2023-09-03T20:34:44+00:00

It's always a mix of nature and nurture. Most people including women and men are followers. They need to be told what to find attractive. When I was a kid in the 80's, the hottest men wore big hair, had more make up then your mom and worked skin tight leopard print tights. Women with big hair and leg warmers were considered hot. In the 90s women with huge boobs and no ass were considered hot. In the 2000s, skinny, cocaine chic model types were considered hot. Nowadays it's the big ass tiny waist, Kardashian types.

These things change with the fashion and what's in vogue which is controlled by big fashion corporations that need to sell you shit. Why do you think fat women are in now? Because fashion companies ran out of skinny customers to buy their overpriced stuff. So they invested in marketing telling you it's okay to eat donuts, you are beautiful even if you are 250 lbs. now go by my extra sized yoga pants you fat bitch.

And the poor men, they are so desperate they will fuck anything.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-09-03T04:19:21+00:00

I think being good looking is basically an insurance policy for a lot of guys. The extent of your looks will be judged somewhat subjectively so I would suggest guys go for the woman who shows the most attraction to you. Women are willing to make a lot more sacrifices for men they think are good looking.

It isn't completely plastic though. You can ruin your good looks by being too dumb or too annoying or having a lot of problems. You can enhance yourself with your personality and values while not coming off as a simp. Women don't like guys who simp for them straight away because it feels unearned.

I also agree that you should not lead with your money. One time a guy on a dating app I briefly used asked me if I would be okay with a sugar baby type relationship and it just felt wrong, I wasn't on there to become a sugar baby and I'm willing to make my own money, I'm looking for someone who actually likes me and doesn't need to pay me a lot or give me expensive shit.

A lot of guys waste their potential by not focusing on their looks enough. Genuine attraction cannot be bought.

Schmurby · 2023-09-03T05:10:12+00:00

Attraction standards are absolutely plastic.

I was traveled to the country of Tajikistan and, to my amazement, I found that women in parts of that country paint a false unibrow across their foreheads because that is considered attractive. Can you imagine a woman doing that in the United States?

That may seem like an extreme example but consider women in the USA who ruin their natural beauty with lip fillers. That looks about as sexy as a baboon’s distended anus in my opinion. But I assume that some people think it looks really pretty, why else would they can for that?

Yes, what is considered beautiful and attractive varies greatly depending on culture and class.

Uglypostwall · 2023-09-03T04:15:35+00:00

>To What Extent Are Attraction Standards Plastic?

90%

Over_North8884 · 2023-09-03T05:55:16+00:00

Speaking from a guy's perspective, I prefer autoeroticism over sex with physically unattractive women. My absolute minimum standard, even when desperate, is a 6, even if my looks deteriorate to a 1. I suspect most women operate similarly.

MarBitt · 2023-09-03T06:16:34+00:00

I realize I'm the exception to this:

Whether or not I feel any feelings is a matter of my decision. I can turn my feelings off and on.
Whether I perceive anything as beautiful or ugly is a matter of my decision. I can see a ball of worms as the most beautiful thing in the world and a beautiful woman as a hideous creature if I want to. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But it's a fact that I can't change the perception of smells like that, so I'm still limited on this level.
Whether I love someone or something is a matter of my decision. I am capable of feeling such a strong love for anything that it completely consumes me.
What I believe or not believe is a matter of my decision. When I want, Mars is green for me, I believe or not in gods and the reality around me depending on how I decide.

No_Ask_2241 · 2023-09-03T06:46:40+00:00

For women? In my experience they are not plastic at all, they may lower their standards and settle but they don't find them attractive much. For guys? I have seen some of them start finding women they didn't initially find attractive, attractive after getting to know her. I have been that guy myself a few times.

ace52387 · 2023-09-03T04:36:30+00:00

why would you want a situation where someone lowered their standards for you? thats definitely not an option.

i think the whole problem is way overblown and only exists on tinder, where men greatly outnumber women. im struggling to understand how women are suddenly able to “manifest” their standards in a way that men arent also also able to? if younger marriage was deeply encouraged and expected, men would also be under the same pressure. if arranged marriages were common, neither men nor women had standards manifest, their parents did.

theres no “solution” but i think the problem is a lessening interest in having kids, on both sides. probably mainly due to the cost of living, and increased education level required for basic jobs. without that motivating factor, both sides will feel less of a time crunch, but especially women.

side note: what do you mean by been there done that? you convinced someone to have sex with you for the good of society? wtf?

learn2earn89 · 2023-09-03T05:38:15+00:00

I think there’s a variety of answers that you can be given from a female perspective.

I have acquaintances that are with men who I did not find attractive at all. I scratch my head and think…hmm ok? Whatever makes them happy.

There are those couples who equally unattractive and I think, “I wonder if the guy watches po*n with way hotter women” and I wonder if she’s just with him cause she wanted kids and companionship. But then some do seem like they’re really in love. So, I think there are people out there who aren’t super shallow.

Then there’s the couples that are both hot and I think “makes sense”

Then there’s me. I thought I was mostly asexual up until age 25. I had crushes here and there, usually a guy who was charismatic and/or very intelligent and confident but I didn’t really think of them sexually.

At age 25 I landed a good job. I remember one day a guy came into the company and he was talking to someone else and my coworker said if I thought he was cute because she thought he was single. I just glanced, saw him only from behind and said “he’s way too tall for me” The next month, I realized that I was attracted to tall men. And the reason I thought I was asexual was because I was never around tall men for most of my life. Some women are shallower than others. I guess i am and it makes sense why I have body dysmorphia. I am very critical of the way I look and the looks of others and I don’t know why I am this way.

Also, I should note. I think the reason so many women who online date say they want a 6ft plus guy is because those type of women are more likely to self select for online dating since they might not see tall men in their day to day lives. Remember, dating apps are a majority of men and a way smaller percentage of women use them.

Happy_Nuclear_End · 2023-09-03T10:54:01+00:00

Women have never been free to fully manifest their true standards before, so now we are finally seeing what they are.

False and I hate how feminism preach this like a fucking choir. During each period of humanity in every single society advanced enough to pass their history you have beauty standards and women making the effort to be pretty.

Saying they are 'too high' is tantamount to asking women to sleep with men they find repulsive for the possible good of men or society.

False equivalence, no one is asking no one to sleep with anyone we're just saying your standards is unreasonable. You're making an Strawn Man to excuse entitlement, women are free to be alone (most won't despite all the talk) and not make another person life miserable.

AutoModerator · 2023-09-03T04:07:21+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Unhappy-Yak-8648 · 2023-09-03T05:23:24+00:00

I agree.. it is what it is. And it's natural for them to be attracted to what they're attracted to. Most men do realise it but start rolling their eyes when women insist that attraction is based on their "personality" however it just so happens the guy is 6'3 and looks like a twin brother that's a love child of Chris hemsworth and channing Tatum. Sooner or later Most men do realise that they don't meet the attractiveness standards of whatever women find attractive and grow resentful. Some men realise this and completely check out because they know they would much rather check out of dating all together, as I have because they know that no woman would ever be attracted to them and they would much rather be alone than be with someone who's not attracted to them. This is good for all the parties involved. Now, would this render Most men sexless and without experience ? Yes. Just like every other species. Men compete, women choose.. just like how it is in the animal kingdom. The best genes go forward that's the way of life. That is what's natural.

Now, do I wish I was 6'3 and good looking? Yes. Can I do something about it? Maybe. (If I opt for limb lengthening) Did I wish women swooned over me like they do for a tall and good looking guy? Hell yes. Can I make that happen? No.

It is what it is. I think we are only now finding the natural order of things. The competition is going to get alot tougher in a decade or two since sexual selection will spawn men of superior genes more commonly as everyone wants a tall man so their son can also be tall...Gen X had it easier than gen z.. if Most men were over 6ft... the entire 6 feet thing would vanish away.. the new 6ft would become something like 6'4 and up.

MarBitt · 2023-09-03T06:27:07+00:00

Attraction standards are more plastic when those in question stop identifying themselves with their emotions, feelings, beliefs and sensory perceptions and start to control and consciously decide what they will feel and how they will perceive beauty. From this point of view, love is the result of daily conscious decision and work. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Meeting certain physical requirements makes the job of maintaining attraction to your partner easier, but I really don't think people need to be slaves to physical appearance to the extent that many are. It is about deciding whether one wants to be subject to these standards or to consciously determine them for oneself.

Make attraction standards more plastic is a skill, it's just that many people don't even think to practice it.

Odd_Green_3775 · 2023-09-03T07:06:00+00:00

All these problems would be solved if we just normalised older men dating younger women more. And also accepted that men will likely always make more money than women without external assistance.

OzandtheWizard · 2023-09-03T11:59:38+00:00

Perhaps I'm weird (well I AM but...) But if you were to look back over my lifetime partner choices it's probably confusing. They run the gamut of 'looks'. I don't really have type and they have ranged from drop dead gorgeous to very plain. For me it's truly about personality and how that shines through in the way they move, I guess how they look and the way they interact with their environment at the time. I guess that's pretty plastic if the meaning is flexible...Having said that, striking looks for me are Uber feminine - long hair, makeup, feminine dress, coquettish,..

DarmakJalad · 2023-09-03T20:10:30+00:00

There is a fair amount of plasticity, but the forces at play are mostly cultural/environmental, and there’s not that a ton that can be done to change them on a the individual level. We are oversaturated with sexualized media and images of extremely beautiful people, which affects our minimum standards and expectations. Some people can semi-conscious lower their standards, but young people usually cannot. Even if we do as much as we realistically can at a macro level (and im definitely in favor of this), female minimum standards will still naturally be higher than male, and male 5s generally should not expect female 5s.

I think there also needs to be corresponding discussion about male standards. Male 5s will pair with female 4s, but will drag their feet or aim to this to be a temporary situation until they can get a 5. This seems selfish to women who would kill to have a low enough attraction floor to still find someone a point or two lower adequately desirable

MistyMaisel · 2023-09-04T01:39:22+00:00

I'm sure there's some aesthetic wiggle room on what genre of man is most popular (think kpop stars suddenly becoming the it thing), but in general a hot dude is a hot dude. Those dudes were hot prior to the rise of kpop. Now they're just popularly hot.

I don't think there's a lot of room for change, could be wrong, but I doubt it.

AuraCore-main · 2023-09-04T04:35:26+00:00

My two cents to add to this maybe a dollar depending how you look on this but I think attractive standard platonic is foolish at the end of the day we're all human with different needs and different wants does this answer the main question probably but figure out for yourself

Title	To What Extent Are Attraction Standards Plastic?
Author	WilliamWyattD
Upvotes	10
Comments	86
Date	September 3, 2023 4:07 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/168n0q3/to_what_extent_are_attraction_standards_plastic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/to-what-extent-are-attraction-standards-plastic.1230746 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230746

Comments