I was recently talking with a single male friend of mine about love languages. We looked up some examples including some for physical touch. He said he thought one of his love languages was physical touch and I said mine was too. We looked at a page of lots of different cuddling positions and I said my favourite was the one where the woman cuddles her man with her head on his chest.
He said that that was also his favourite position, but reversed, with so his head would be on the woman's chest. He said he liked it not because it was a submissive position (which is what it looks like) but because it lets him get a good hold of the person he is cuddling, "demonstrating physically that she is mine" is sort of how he phrased it. He seemed rather unsure or embarrassed as he was talking about this. [I did wonder if it might also be because the man's face would be near the breasts but I did not ask if that was also a reason he liked it]
He then went on to say that cuddling like that would probably never happen for him. I was about to go through the usual generic phrases of encouragement about dating and whatnot when he told it me it was not because he thought he would never get into a relationship, but because cuddling - especially the position he liked the most - is too submissive.
He went on to say that women can like cuddling as much as they like and they should be the ones to initiate and ask for it, but men wanting to cuddle is too submissive and would put off good traditional women as they would look too soft and needy; thus men should never ask for cuddles. (My friend ascribes to traditional masculine principles and virtues similar to the ones we praise here)
I then asked if he thought that men could not ask for physical contact at all; he said that maybe it would be alright to ask for massages, but only to soften his muscles after extensive physical exertion rather than for pampering - and only ever occasionally.
I had never heard of this view before from men? Is it common? What do you ladies think? Would you find your man wanting to cuddle submissive? And if there are any men here, what are your perspectives?
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