I'm a long time lurker but this is my first post, I wanted to pick your brains a bit. I'm currently in a LTR with my Captain. We've been living together for 4 years, but we've dated for 6 years total. He is a redpilled man and was MGTOW for years before I entered his life. I'm 24 and he is 36. I love him dearly and we have an amazing relationship. He is a great captain and I do my best to be a useful co-pilot. He is a very cautious man, as would be expected of a formal MGTOW so it's taken a lot of work, for me, to get to this point in the relationship. Of course the effort I've put in and continue to put in is very much worth it.

If he weren't redpilled we'd be married by now but after much discussion we've decided not to get married. I wanted to get married, as I think is most every woman's dream, but after much discussion I've been convinced that it would not be best for us because it would put him at risk. He is very risk adverse. He doesn't gamble. He doesn't smoke. He invests safely. He doesn't even drive very often. He even refusues to keep a gun in the house. He has this non-lethal "pepper pellet" gun instead.

So regarding us not marrying I've accepted this because despite not having that big ceremony we have still devoted ourselfves to each other. He is mine and I am his. I deferr to him and he always has the last word. I'm very satisfied with his leadership and desisiveness.

Where the...Um...hiccup is, is that, well I guess I'll start by saying we run a foster home. At any given time we are fostering 1 to 2 children. 3 at the most but that's rare. He's a very kind man and was actually fostering as a single parent before I entered the picture. When he allowed me to move in with him I joined in on the foster care. In fact I just got my Associates degree instead of finishing my bachelors in order to be a full time foster mother with his support. We also volenteer rather frequently. He's honestly quite amazing and kindhearted.

ANYWAY, the hiccup is that we've recently taken in an infant and I've been spending a lot of time with her. This has brought a few feelings to a head. Specifically, I want to have his child. Now he has made it clear before I moved in with him that he doesn't want to sire children. He plans to adopt. He has a Vasectomy and gets checked periodically to make sure he is shooting blanks. I accepted this and thought I coud be happy adopting as well. Maybe I still can be but, I can't ignore what I feel. The thing is we actually do talk about it. I know I've accepted his wishes but he still wants to hear from me because it's clearly on my mind. I want his baby in me like...yesterday!

This is by no means a deal breaker. Before you guys even mention it, leaving him is not an option. I am aware that I could possibly grow resentment towards him but I don't feel that way. The thing is I can imagine adopting, even if the child is not an infant. I can be happy, because I love him. I'd just very much prefer to, at least, ALSO have HIS child. His concern with having a child, which he already made up his mind about years ago, is two fold.

  1. while having a child is very natural and necessary to continue the species, he doesn't want to do it because there are "already enough people in the world," and basically he'd much rather save a child that already exists from a childhood without love through no fault of their own.

  2. Being former MGTOW, he has very large concerns about the power I'd have over him if I were to have his child. While we do live in a state without common law marriage so I am not currently empowered by the law to destroy him on a whim if I so desired, that story would change if we had a child and for what ever reason I decided to leave him. Which of course happens a lot, often to good men. Through our long conversations I've discovered that it's not really an issue of how good of a woman I am but of my potential to destroy our family which would be empowered and supported by the courts if my mind ever changed, or I ever changed. I can't imagine a world where I wouldn't love him but crazier things have happened I suppose. He fears what that potential could do to not only him, but also the child by denying our baby a reliable father and a stable home, potentially.

I understand his fear perfectly. He is the one who introduced me to TheRedPill. I've seen men and families destroyed by gynocentrism and the biases of the court. My own mother was the very definition of AWALT. I'm glad I was raised by my grandparents instead of her. But that's another story.

So I know exactly where he is coming from. I truly understand. Still, I can't help but want to have his child. What can we do to protect ourselves. To protect him from me, to protect me from me, to protect my child from me. I trust him completely. I can't think of a thing I wouldn't do for him to make this happen. He makes a six figure salary and we've even floated the idea, albeit somewhat playfully, of moving to a different country that doesn't have such toxic family courts. How can I get this without making him vulnerable? I'm open to anything.