one sided open relationship

IsabelMBA · 2026-06-19T17:32:24+00:00

Gril, run as fast as you can.

He's gonna drag you down

thlete5175 · 2026-06-19T17:07:55+00:00

You get attracted to toxic guys, sorry.

chamomilecloud · 2026-06-19T17:09:05+00:00

A man who wants to commit to you, will. Men put their desire for sexual variety aside when he is ready to commit. Provision is not commitment.

I genuinely think, in your mind, your experience being cheated on is causing this response of “refreshment” at his “radical honesty.” It’s almost like an excuse to not be hurt by the betrayal, but you know deep down this is not what you want.

So don’t choose it.

MajorEntertainment65 · 2026-06-19T16:45:09+00:00

What do you want? If you want a partner who is committed to you, then it's not him and he is telling you right now. If you want a long term future with someone, then you don't want him.

If you want a fuck buddy who can fuck whoever he wants and you can only fuck him. Then go for it.

ShowerMotor · 2026-06-19T17:15:12+00:00

I thought this was a joke. He is following those toxic men from the "manosphere" that give incredible bad reputation to the redpill core principles. Open relationships are the biggest joke there is.

CountTheBees · 2026-06-19T23:15:56+00:00

would only do things that make me comfortable

Except monogamy.

From personal experience - refreshing radical honesty is not a sufficient substitute for not having your heart broken. The most wretched feeling is when you are gutted and crying and can't talk about it because you know that he'd only say that you agreed to this and that the only solution is to break up.

Men don't fall more in love with women over time, their initial level of affection tends to stay constant over the course of the relationship. There isn't really a mechanic or strategy to "fix" him here.

Wife_and_Mama · 2026-06-19T18:57:46+00:00

he is open to discussing parameters with me and would only do things that make me comfortable but has stressed to me that it is important to him

Awww. How romantic. 🫶

i’m honestly refreshed by his radical honesty and he is very emotionally intelligent, reassuring and supportive

Kudos to him. He's an excellent manipulator.

however i do have wounds from getting cheated on in previous relationships + originally seeking monogamy in all future partners

Seriously? Does the man fuck like a God and have the bank account to match? Why would you even consider this? He gets to tame as much strange as he wants and you get... what? To feel good that he's honest about it? Gross. There's no future here, unless you want to be crying on your (insert age here)th birthday about how you're going to die alone because you wasted years on some loser who won't even commit to a real relationship. End it. Block him. Gain some self respect.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-06-19T19:24:23+00:00

Honestly one of the hardest parts about this sort of arrangement for me would be feeling like I needed to hide the truth from my family and friends. What he's asking for is pretty substantial and extremely controversial; very few people in your life are going to understand and would likely want you to walk away from the relationship if they knew the truth. It sounds a bit harsh, but I think women have a hard time respecting another woman who can't get her partner or husband to keep it in his pants.

I tend not to be strictly opposed in theory so long as you get your own "shoot for the moon" ask of him. Don't waste your big ask on having a two-sided open relationship if you're inclined towards monogamy. Think of something that would really make your life the way you want it to be.

In your specific case I think you'll experience a lot of pain and worry when he goes out with his friends and will ultimately decide this arrangement isn't worth it. You'd save yourself a lot of trouble cutting your losses now before the heartbreak and the long nights wondering what he's up to/if he's with another woman.

DarceysExtensions · 2026-06-19T17:36:18+00:00

Do whatever works for you.

I would not settle like that. I would never agree to my husband having affairs whenever he feels like it.

You say he is marriage minded. He may feel like that now, but men have walked away from their wives and children.

Once you have been married for a few years, the honeymoon phase is over and routine has set in and your husband gets to have hookups with whoever he likes, there is a pretty good chance that he will fall for one of his fuckbuddies. His affair partners will be new, shiny and exciting and you will be the boring, same old in comparison. It’s a difficult place to compete from.

fastfishyfood · 2026-06-19T21:10:00+00:00

You want to let a man access to your body, mind & spirit in return for the risk of confusion, jealousy, non-commitment & STIs?

Stop allowing these losers to charm you into dropping your panties so they can use you.

Dionne005 · 2026-06-19T18:20:19+00:00

You should just let him have his one sided open relationship….BY HIMSELF. He can be as open as he wants to be and date all the women he wants. Let him do that. But for you…move on or enjoy an STD

craftyexplorer9 · 2026-06-19T18:31:30+00:00

I don’t understand why his reasons for wanting the relationship to be open on his side preclude you from also being open?

He wants to be single for boys trips— ok when he’s out of town can you see people too?

Thistlewhistler · 2026-06-19T17:25:18+00:00

It wouldn’t be for me. I am far too jealous and possessive to be able to make peace with that. I wouldn’t be prepared to risk my sexual health in that way either.

I think marriage and relationships are a bit like betting on a horse. You take a chance (you’re betting with your health, your financial security and that of your future children) and some people bet on winners, and some on losers.

But betting on a lame horse, that you know is definitely one of the losers is not the way to deal with the uncertainty and risk.

He’s still not a sure thing- he may just not have met the woman that he wants to devote himself to. He could leave you if he does.

What is certain is that while you have him cluttering up your life, you’re missing other opportunities for a potentially great partner. Don’t waste your valuable time.

(And maybe check out The Freedom Programme to work out why you are stuck in a pattern of being attracted to toxic men)

prostoja555 · 2026-06-20T05:18:26+00:00

That’s crazy. Girl run.

Background_Sun_7477 · 2026-06-20T07:17:43+00:00

That man is a walking psychopath. Leave him

bunnytryingreddit · 2026-06-20T10:43:15+00:00

why is this even a question

Fontane15 · 2026-06-19T17:41:57+00:00

I don’t like or think much of open relationships. But if you have to do that at least make it fair so that both parties can have an open relationship. Him wanting you committed faithfully to him and wanting casual sex with strangers seems like him wanting his cake and eating it too.

I just keep thinking about the what ifs. What if he passes as STD along to you? What if he gets someone else pregnant and expects you to deal with that? What if he meets someone he really likes and does have a side chick/second family or leaves you for her? What kinds of lessons would you be teaching to your kids by allowing him to do these types of things?

Pycnostyle · 2026-06-19T18:56:26+00:00

When you were cheated on in the past, what hurt more? The sex? Or was it the lying, the deception, the broken promises, the humiliation? Maybe a mutual friend knew and said nothing? Maybe you were the last to find out?

For most people, the real sting comes from everything other than the sex itself. Like, if my partner lied to me about this, or promised me this, but then did something else, what else is her or she lying to me about? Or what other promises will he or she break? And of course, being humiliated in front of everyone is a horrible feeling.

This guy is proposing something very different from cheating. According to him, he's not going to lie to you. He's not going to humiliate you. You say he's good on paper, so I suspect he will find what he's looking for, eventually.

It sounds like you still want no part of this, and that's totally reasonable. I wouldn't want it either, or even two-way nonmonogamy (my wife and I discussed the possibility, and decided that the extra aggravation of jealousy, etc made it not worth it).

That being said, it sounds like you like the guy. If it were me, I'd ask him open ended questions about it. Has he had this type of arrangement in the past? How did it work for him? Was there a lot of jealously involved? Did it cause breakups? And was it worth it?

Maybe it'll prompt him to see that maybe it just isn't worth destabilizing relationships that he cares about for the short-term thrill of a new partner. Or maybe not. I've never met the guy.

Alternatively, if you haven't already run for the hills, you could explore what you get in return. I mean, one sided nonmonogamy is a pretty big request. Why shouldn't you get some other benefit from it? What would you want in exchange? A weekly allowance? Some other relationship perk?

This whole idea isn't something I'd personally be into, but you asked here instead of telling him to go kick rocks, so I think you'd at least have some amusement if you went the open ended questions route. Even though you're probably going to say "no, that doesn't work for me. If you can't do monogamy, we're not a match" in the end.

Ill_Drive_1944 · 2026-06-19T17:06:08+00:00

That man is delulu. I want a billion dollars too lol

SnootyPretzel · 2026-06-19T17:58:11+00:00

Hi! I was in a similar boat with my partner so I think I can share my thoughts on this one

When I met my partner he also made it very clear he wanted a one sided open relationship. Because I found him very smart, handsome and way more emotionally mature than most guys I'd met, I initially agreed to it. That agreement lasted a whooping total of 5 days x)

I couldn't come to terms with the idea that it would be more important to him to satisfy his bodily needs than to nurture a strong monogamous relationship. The obvious reply from him was that he'd do both, he'd both nurture what we have while also satisfying his other desires, but for me it just didn't cut it. The thought of sleeping with him after he'd done it with someone else made me want to vomit and I knew that no amount of muscle, intelligence or charm from him would ever change that.

In the end, he decided he wanted our relationship to work out and chose me and monogamy over the lifestyle he initially wanted. Probably hard to believe for those who are reading this that he meant it and that he didn't do things behind my back, but all I can say is we're 6 years into the relationship and he hasn't given me a reason to doubt his fidelity. I'm a happy gal.

After the initial relationship butterflies die down, I think what most of us want from our partners is consistency and reliability. From the day he said he wanted non monogamy and up to the present moment, we've had deaths in the family, I developed autoimmune issues, his mother got herself into some crazy stuff, my mother is generally hard to put up with, and I genuinely don't think I would've had the mental bandwidth to put up with a man that had side chicks through all of that. We were there for each other every step of the way.

All this to say, please consider carefully how important monogamy is to you, and how painful agreeing to this could become for you. No matter how perfect he may be, if this is a factor that matters to you, don't let him sway your standards, as horrible as it may be in the moment for you to make this choice.

Thatoneshortgoblin · 2026-06-19T18:49:38+00:00

Unless one person is asexual one-sided never works.

Vast-Society4093 · 2026-06-19T21:41:19+00:00

Hey OP, this could be far reaching and I am also not a psychologist, yet hear my take.

You were probably heavily traumatized in the past from cheating that you might probably develop a kink around it. If it turns you on now and that you are ok with it that your man is sleeping with other women while you don’t get to sleep with other men. Then it’s a fetish and there’s a definition for in the pornscene. If this is how you process this therapy is a good start. I don’t think after getting cheated on and then get into
this relationship dynamic is healthy.

I suspect that you kinda already made your mind and still want to proceed with him then I don’t think this sub can help much. Most sane people would advice you with good intentions and wanted to look out for you. And I agree with the people who is against the idea.

There is your perfect man out there who will provide and won’t expect you to be cuck.

Work on your red flags radar and good luck.

Jenneapolis · 2026-06-19T19:21:19+00:00

You could try it but I’m 99% sure you’d be miserable. These things may feel ok in theory but in practice, every night you are lonely and don’t hear from him, your mind will go imagining where he is and you’ll drive yourself crazy.

That_Difference_7638 · 2026-06-20T00:21:24+00:00

He might be shit testing you. Some men do that, like women notoriously do. He suggests to bend your morals and values over backwards and checks how easily you give up or move your boundary. You fail the „test“ of you do. Some men just say those cruel things _in theory_ to check if you really are steadfast and „angelic“. If you show him it’s really who you are (in this case, „sorry can’t do that, I need a monogamous husband“) and he drops the whole charade and shows you(!!) that you’re his one and only it might be a chance left. He might also change his words after you revealed your moral compass just to bed you so be cautious. So trust your gut feeling and look at his ACTIONS

catsarehere77 · 2026-06-21T23:36:09+00:00

You literally just had someone reveal to you that they are selfish and want a one sided relationship and you were conned into seeing this as refreshing since most selfish people pretend to be decent. This just means he is a overt narcissist rather than a covert narcissist.

The moment you agree to this is the moment you tell him you are a desperate weak willed woman who would go along with anything to have a man. Think about the kind of relationship that will lead to when you send this message.

Purple_Psychology404 · 2026-06-23T22:31:58+00:00

A one-sided open relationship? He needs to get his head out of his ass.

fatally-femme · 2026-06-19T17:56:31+00:00

Hi! I may get downvoted for this because I assume it’s not very popular amongst other women. I can totally relate to this, as I’m kind of in an open relationship? Are you bisexual? Is he open to you also being a part of it? I’m curious what the parameters are. Are the women he’d be with someone he’d be romantic with or is it just sex? Are you a jealous person? Are you open minded?

I will tell you about me. When I first met my partner he also was everything I ever wanted! However he expressed he loves to have fun with his partner and causally date other women. He expressed most of the women he’s dated have been bi, or at least heteroflexible. I was open to this but of course I had my reservations. As a bisexual woman I wanted to have fun with other women. I was also a part of the lifestyle (swinger) community, although not a swinger myself. I had a lot of fun going to sex parties with my friends and everyone that was a part of it was good friends integrated in eachother’s lives - it was more than just a sexy time. It was freeing to be a part of it. So letting my partner see other women was not off the table because I am an open minded person and I’ve seen first hand how people can open their relationship in a respectful and loving way.

My partner has always made it a point to let me choose the women. And it’s his rule that they must be more into me than him. He has always been open and honest. He never wanted romantic relationships with anyone other than me. It was something fun we did together, never alone. We are both also demi sexual so we always had friendship relationships before anything sexual happened. This helped also sus out people. We’ve never had a bad experience with anyone.

The first time we experienced this together was with his best friend - his actual best friend. They had a history of dating but they both know they are not good for each other and decided to be friends instead. When I first met her she was so friendly, always respected me, and truly I could see their friendship for what it was and I thought it was really sweet. They occasionally still hooked up. Her and I ended up also becoming best friends and we’d all go on trips together. Intimacy didn’t always happen but when it did it was very respectful, and I loved it because her and I bonded. Maybe this is weird or uncomfortable for people to read.

When we first started my partner didn’t want me with other men. I thought that was unfair and one sided. But I decided I was ok with that because tbh I really don’t want to be with other men and I’m super in love with my partner. After a year, and being amongst my lifestyle friends, he realized what a safe space it was and how the men all truly respected our relationship and my partner. We made friends with an amazing couple, and he mentioned to me that he would be ok if I wanted to explore other men. I know it’ll be a learning curve for him and he will go through what everyone goes through and feel feelings about it. He’ll have to work through that. I love that he is open to that, but still I honestly don’t want to be with other men.

Anyways, I hope this helps. Make sure you set firm boundaries. If you want to try it and see how it goes, do it! If you don’t like it you don’t have to participate or be with him. It’s always better for you to be the one in control. The whole experience has made me grow as a person and realize how in love my partner is with me and how I am in love with him. The amount of trust it takes to do it is a lot, and we’ve grown so much together.

Unpopular belief but your partner can be completely committed to you while you BOTH pursue other women TOGETHER. Not alone, in that case I would not consider him committed fully.
Good luck!

Electronic_Action190 · 2026-06-19T16:47:56+00:00

esse homem te odeia

VasiliyZaitzev · 2026-06-20T19:35:17+00:00

Yeah, so if this isn't your thing it's not your thing. If you want monogamy, then nope-out. And I say this as a Rule 9 Violation who does this. Guys who can do this (rather than talk about it) are guys with optionality, and for that guy you have to arrive at exactly the moment when he's ready to hang up his spurs.

It generally works better with bisexual girls. The will often work as a team, and not just in the bedroom. In one very tender (to me, anyway) moment, I overheard 2 of my girls talking, basically, "I have to work on Friday...will you be here to take care of him?" Basically cooking, sex if I wanted it, etc. It was very sweet. I took them out somewhere nice the both liked on Saturday, "just because."

The bi-girls in my life report that I am unusual in that I don't care if they have sex with other women if I am not around. That's other women not being the unicorn for one of their BFFs whose boyfriend can't put it together on his own. Evidently a lot of dudes with bi-gfs only want that in 3 ways. I am not jealous like that. One of my current girls has a regular thing with another girl (who doesn't know about me) and IDC about it. But the general rule is: no extra-curricular dick for me (I am a zero on the Kinsey Scale and am not at all interested) and no extra-curricular dick for them. Double standard? IDC. They are free to leave ofc.

The funny bit is that he's asking for it out of the gate. Was there a pre-cursor about you asking for exclusivity? I say this because in my world, I am upfront about my non-monogamy - basically I like some variety, when I was younger I had an insanely high drive so unless I was with a woman who would have sex with me - a lot - then it was better if the, um, "workload" was spread out a bit, and if a girl leaves and I have to start over from zero? Ugh. Who wants that?

Some women want reciprocity ofc, but some are fine with it if they feel secure about not getting dumped, which is kind of the point: accrual.

I say it's funny that he's asking for it out of the gate bc for me, OLTRs develop more naturally with girls I am dating. I am clear about who I am, and that I am "selective" which I also am. I'm not going out to bars trying to hook up with random bar sluts; there is a roster of 3-5 (usually) um "regulars." As for the OLTR part, typically a woman will offer exclusivity form her to "raise her value" to me, which is fine.

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2026-06-20T20:22:23+00:00

In my limited experience with this type of situation the man seemed most interested in feeling free, like being in a relationship wasn’t automatically curbing his freedom, but he never actually acted on this freedom. The longer we were together the more he wanted to protect me and our relationship. But I also probably have a very low amount of jealousy. I never cared who he was following on social media and I did enjoy it when other women flirted with him.

He also didn’t have a specific scenario in mind such as “i go on guy trips and I’d hook up with girls then,” it was much more theoretical.

AutoModerator · 2026-06-19T16:41:08+00:00

Title: one sided open relationship

Author FunNo8853

Full text: hey all! finally found somebody who’s amazing on paper and i genuinely falling in love with him. the issue is he is very upfront that he is looking for a one sided open relationship. he is open to discussing parameters with me and would only do things that make me comfortable but has stressed to me that it is important to him. i’m honestly refreshed by his radical honesty and he is very emotionally intelligent, reassuring and supportive however i do have wounds from getting cheated on in previous relationships + originally seeking monogamy in all future partners. wondering what everyone’s thoughts are and if anyone has a current or lived through experience!

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Then_Independent_259 · 2026-06-19T16:54:55+00:00

If you love him, you should stay with him. That’s natural for men to want.

Title	one sided open relationship
Author	FunNo8853
Upvotes	8
Comments	75
Date	June 19, 2026 4:41 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1ua6xuj/one_sided_open_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/one-sided-open-relationship.1583176 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583176

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